The Little Engineer That Could--Humor

Non-parents may want to see
http://66.36.29.53/steve/Main%20Site/downloads/ebooks/Kid's%20Books/The%20Little%20Engine%20That%20Could.pdf
to fully appreciate this.

The Little Engineer That Could
(by Laura and Karl Gallagher – based on a story by Watty Piper)


Scribble, scribble, scribble. Chart, chart, chart. Next slide, next
slide. The little satellite project crunched along through the plans.
It was a happy little satellite project, for it had such a jolly
payload to carry.

Her satellite was filled with all the technologies that NASA engineers
loved. Scramjet engines, slush hydrogen, composite structures,
radiation hard computer chips, laser crosslinks, and onboard
fault-checking . And that was not all. The satellite was filled with
hyperspectral imagers with redundant focal planes, to take pictures of
all sorts of good things -- weather fronts, the aurora borealis, ocean
currents, the ionospheric temperature, and meteorites burning up in
the atmosphere.

The little satellite project was designing all these good things for
all the good NASA engineers who were planning to build it after the
preliminary design review. She designed along happily, through the
system requirements review and the system functional review. Then all
of a sudden she stopped with a jerk. She could not get to PDR. She
tried and she tried, but her budget was cut off.

What were all those good little NASA engineers going to do without the
jolly payload to build and the good pictures to see?

"Here comes a conservative Senator," said the project manager. "Let us
ask him to help us."

So all the project designers cried out together, "Please, Conservative
Senator, do push our project through prelimary design review! Our
budget has been cut, and the good little NASA engineers will have no
jolly payload to build and no good pictures to see unless you help
us."

But the Conservative Senator snorted, "I, help your budget? I help
budgets that have pork for my state! I have just pushed a fine big
budget through the senate, with more kickbacks than you ever dreamed
of. My budget had union contracts, with comfortable pensions; white
collar jobs for the state university graduates; and big tall buildings
with my name on them in big letters. I, help the like of you? Indeed
not!" And off he went to the fundraiser, where Senators live when not
spending other people's money.

Then the project manager called out, "The Conservative Senator is not
the only influence on the budget. Here comes a Lobbyist, a famous
influential one. Let us ask her to help us."

The poor project manager waved his viewgraphs, and the Lobbyist came
to a stop.

"Please, oh please, Famous Lobbyist," cried all the project designers
together, "do push our project through PDR. Our budget has been cut,
and the good little NASA engineers will have no jolly payload to build
and no good pictures to see unless you help us."

But the Famous Lobbyist bellowed, "I am an Expensive Consultant! I
just pushed through a space station design change, with money to keep
Russians off the street and docking ports for the Europeans and comfy
sleep sacks for the astronauts. All that work and changes so Congress
would keep the program going another year, and I was paid well for it.
I am a very important consultant indeed, and I am always paid in
advance. I won't help the likes of you!" And the Famous Lobbyist
puffed off to the fundraiser.

All the project designers were very sad. "Cheer up," said the project
manager. "The Lobbyist is not the only help in the word. Here comes a
Bureaucrat. He looks very old and tired, but our budget is so little,
perhaps he can help us."

So the project manager waved his viewgraphs, and the dingy, balding
old Bureaucrat stopped.

"Please, kind Bureaucrat," cried all the project designers together,
"do push our project through PDR. Our budget has been cut, and the
good little NASA engineers will have no jolly payload to build and no
good pictures to see unless you help us."

But the dingy old Bureaucrat sighed: "I am so tired. Oh, there's so
many slides, and my retirement date is right in the middle of your
design review. I must plan my retirement. I cannot push even so
little a budget as yours through PDR. I can not. I can not. I can
not."

And off he trudged to the retirement luncheon, muttering, "I can not.
I can not. I can not."

Then indeed the little satellite project was very sad, and all the
designers and managers were ready to cry.

But the project manager called out, "Here is another Rocket Scientist
coming, a very shaggy one, not wearing a suit, but perhaps he will
help us."

The Little Engineer came work work working merrily along. When he saw
the project manager's viewgraphs, he stopped quickly.

"What is the matter, my friends?" he asked kindly.

"Oh, Little Engineer," cried the designers and project managers,
"Will you get us through PDR? Our budget has been cut, and the good
little NASA engineers will have no jolly payload to build and no good
pictures to see unless you help us. Please, please help us, Little
Engineer."

"I'm not very experienced," said the Little Engineer. "They use me
only for operations studies. I'm never been though a whole design
review."

"But we must get through the design review before the technology
becomes obsolete," said all the designers.

The shaggy Little Engineer looked up and saw the tears in the
designers' eyes. And he thought of the good little NASA engineers who
would have no jolly payload to build and no good pictures to see
unless he helped.

Then he said "I think I can. I think I can. I think I can." And he
opened up the briefing books and began to read the design. He read
and he thought and he questioned and he calculated and slowly, slowly,
slowly they began to create the PDR.

Then the project manager reviewed the outline, and all the designers
began to smile and cheer.

And he opened up his powerpoint and began to make slides. Bullets,
graphs, bullets, graphs went the Little Engineer. "I think I can – I
think I can – I think I can – I think I can – I think I can – I think
I can – I think I can – I think I can – I think I can."

In he went to the design review. Next slide, next slide, next slide.
Faster and faster the Little Engineer briefed until they reached the
very end of the PDR. And NASA headquarters liked the PDR and
allocated more funding.

"Hurrah, hurrah!" cried the project manager and all the project
designers. "The good little engineers at NASA will be happy because
you helped us, kind Little Engineer!"

And the Little Engineer smiled as he plugged through his action items
and said "I thought I could. I thought I could. I thought I could. I
thought I could. I thought I could. I thought I could."