Black Holes, Dark Stars, and Garbage Cans

I was just thinking how nice it would be to have a small
black hole in my kitchen so that i can use it as a garbage can
and save the $200 per year that i pay for trash service.
You just got to be careful not to put your fingers
near the hole when you throw things away.
Maybe those LHC people at CERN can create these
cheaply so we can all have one in our kitchens.