NORAD tracks Santa - 2003

For fun with the kiddies again this year: http://www.noradsanta.org/

Merry Christmas...

Roger
--
Roger Balettie
former Flight Dynamics Officer
Space Shuttle Mission Control
http://www.balettie.com/

"Roger Balettie" wrote in message ...
For fun with the kiddies again this year: http://www.noradsanta.org/

Merry Christmas...

Roger

And for fun with the older children or young adults, particularly with
end-of-high-school or college students who are familiar with basic
classical physic principles...



There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the
world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu,
Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the
workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million
(according to the Population Reference Bureau).

At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes
to 108 million homes, presuming that there is at least one good child
in each. Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to
the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he
travels east to west (which seems logical).

This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for
each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th
of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney,fill
the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat
whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump
into the sleigh and get on to the next house.

Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed
around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will
accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about
0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not
counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving
at 650 miles per second--3,000 times the speed of sound.

For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses
space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional
reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour. The payload of the
sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets
nothing more than a medium sized Lego set (two pounds), the sleigh is
carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land,
a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds.

Even granting that the "flying" reindeer could pull ten times the
normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of
them--Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload,
not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly
seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the
monarch). 600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates
enormous air resistance--this would heat up the reindeer in the same
fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere.

The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of
energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost
instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating
deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be
vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time
Santa reached the fifth house on his trip.

Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating
from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to
acceleration forces of 17,500 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems
ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by
4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and
reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo.

Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now sorry....

Merry Christmas!

On Tue, 23 Dec 2003 15:07:25 -0800, Remy Villeneuve wrote:

Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating
from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to
acceleration forces of 17,500 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems
ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by
4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and
reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo.

Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now sorry....

But of course it's all the falut of thet sloopy NASA management, right hal?

Someone has way too much time on their hands.

When I saw this subject change, i was thinking that Bush's new anti missile
system had killed Santa by mistake...

Brian

--
Brian Gaff....
graphics are great, but the blind can't hear them
Email:
__________________________________________________ __________________________
__________________________________


"Remy Villeneuve" wrote in message
om...
| "Roger Balettie" wrote in message
...
| For fun with the kiddies again this year: http://www.noradsanta.org/
|
| Merry Christmas...
|
| Roger
|
| And for fun with the older children or young adults, particularly with
| end-of-high-school or college students who are familiar with basic
| classical physic principles...
|
|
|
| There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the
| world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu,
| Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the
| workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million
| (according to the Population Reference Bureau).
|
| At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes
| to 108 million homes, presuming that there is at least one good child
| in each. Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to
| the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he
| travels east to west (which seems logical).
|
| This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for
| each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th
| of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney,fill
| the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat
| whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump
| into the sleigh and get on to the next house.
|
| Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed
| around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will
| accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about
| 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not
| counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving
| at 650 miles per second--3,000 times the speed of sound.
|
| For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses
| space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional
| reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour. The payload of the
| sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets
| nothing more than a medium sized Lego set (two pounds), the sleigh is
| carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land,
| a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds.
|
| Even granting that the "flying" reindeer could pull ten times the
| normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of
| them--Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload,
| not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly
| seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the
| monarch). 600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates
| enormous air resistance--this would heat up the reindeer in the same
| fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere.
|
| The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of
| energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost
| instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating
| deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be
| vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time
| Santa reached the fifth house on his trip.
|
| Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating
| from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to
| acceleration forces of 17,500 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems
| ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by
| 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and
| reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo.
|
| Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now sorry....
|
| Merry Christmas!


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Remy Villeneuve wrote:

And for fun with the older children or young adults, particularly with
end-of-high-school or college students who are familiar with basic
classical physic principles...

snip

Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now sorry....

Merry Christmas!

A post worthy of a Pat Flannery Award...


David
--
per aspera ad astra

On Wed, 24 Dec 2003 10:39:27 -0000, "Brian Gaff"
wrote:

When I saw this subject change, i was thinking that Bush's new anti missile
system had killed Santa by mistake...

....Expect that story in _The Onion_ inside of next week.

OM

--

"No ******* ever won a war by dying for | http://www.io.com/~o_m
his country. He won it by making the other | Sergeant-At-Arms
poor dumb ******* die for his country." | Human O-Ring Society

- General George S. Patton, Jr

On Tue, 23 Dec 2003 17:47:26 GMT, "Roger Balettie"
wrote:

For fun with the kiddies again this year: http://www.noradsanta.org/

....The bad part of this is, that at the time of this posting he's
passing over the Persian Gulf.

Red Sleigh Down, anyone?

OM

--

"No ******* ever won a war by dying for | http://www.io.com/~o_m
his country. He won it by making the other | Sergeant-At-Arms
poor dumb ******* die for his country." | Human O-Ring Society

- General George S. Patton, Jr

Forgot to mention that I am not the author of the ... ahem...
analysis... just dug it from my Funny Texts archive :-)

On or about Wed, 24 Dec 2003 13:45:53 -0600, OM om@our_blessed_lady_mary_of_the_holy_NASA_researc h_facility.org made the sensational claim that:
Red Sleigh Down, anyone?

Don't worry, Jesus is packing.
--
This is a siggy | To E-mail, do note | This space is for rent
It's properly formatted | who you mean to reply-to | Inquire within if you
No person, none, care | and it will reach me | Would like your ad here

David Sander wrote:

A post worthy of a Pat Flannery Award...


They've GOT those?! Can I have one?
Let's see...what should it be? How about "Hero-Soldier Of The Venusian
Pterodactyl Corps"; and in exceptional cases, "Hero-Soldier Of The
Venusian Pterodactyl Corps- With Beryllium Bullet-Bra Cluster"? And that
one earns the second in my opinion.

Pat