noTroll2016 and the Great Ape ...

A small zoo in S.E Missoura obtained a very
rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks
the gorilla, a female, became very difficult
to handle. Upon examination, the veterinarian
determined the problem. The gorilla was in
heat. To make matters worse, there was no
male gorilla available.

Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper
thought of noTroll2016, a redneck part-time
worker responsible for cleaning the animal
cages . noTroll, like most rednecks, had
little sense but possessed ample ability
to satisfy a female of any species.
The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a
solution.

noTroll2016 was approached with a proposition.
Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla
for $500.00?

noTroll showed some interest, but said he
would have to think the matter over carefully.
The following day, he announced that he would
accept their offer, but only under five
conditions:

"First", noTroll said, "I ain't gonna kiss
her on the lips, like I do my sister Chlamydia."
The Keeper quickly agreed to this condition.

“Second", noTroll said, "She must wear a 'Dale
Earnhardt Forever' T-Shirt." The keeper again
readily agreed to this condition.

"Third", the noTroll said, "you can't never
tell no one about this." The keeper again
readily agreed to this condition.

"Fourth", the Trollster Lee said, "I want all
the children raised Southern Baptist." Once
again it was agreed.

And lastly, noTroll said, "I'm gonna need another
week to come up with the $500.00!�