NEW WITNESS IN PENN STATE TRIAL

===========================
HOT OFF THE WIRE ===========================

STATE COLLEGE. Pa. (Rueters)
-- In an unprecedented move just a day
before the start of the Jerry Sandusky
pervert trial, Penn State's board of
trustees unanimously voted to change
the university's name to State Penn..

"It's sounds a lot better and it
certainly is a lot more accurate," said
a PSU -- rather, an SpU spokesman.

Sandusky's alleged longtime smorg-
gasbord with young boys apparentLy
wasn't the only factor in the name
change.

Rueters has just learned that a
witness has just come forward who
said his rear end has been a bull's-eye
target for many years.

Ed Conrad told investigators that
he had his gorgeous buttocks regularly
spliced by prestigious "scientists" in
its anthropology,paleontology and even
entomology departments (concerning
part of a giant scorpion he found in
coal-bearing strata)..

"It's been a few years since I got
it up the Old Wazoo but I'm still using
lots of Vaseline," he told an investigator.

Conrad identified the perverts as
Richard Eckhardt, anthropologist; Roger
Cuffey, paleontologist; and William
Pitts, chairman of the entomology
department.

He explained that he had taken
some of specimens of petrified bone
to these sleazeballs at what was then
known as PSU and found them to be
phonier than a crisp new $8 bill.

Conrad revealed that all three
declared -- after examining specimens
that he discovered between coal veins
-- that they were nothing more than
concretions (naturally formed rocks).

Afterwards, however, Haversian
canals -- the tell-tale sign of bone --
were found in the specimens.

In addition, American Medical
Laboratories in Chantilly, Va., had
performed state-of-the-art testing
and identified dried blood found
in eight specimens that appear to
be human bones via comparative
anatomy.

-- Dr. Geoffrey Bourne, a leading
bone expert and former long-time
department chairman of the Yerkes
Regional Primate Research Institute
in Atlanta, identified a specimen that
he personally examined and tested
as petrified B-O-N-E.

We won't even include the Royal
Screwing that poor Ed received
on a regular basis rfrom the Smith-
onian Institution except to say they
also got their jollies off at his expense
-- and didn't have the decency to
use a rubber.

If Penn State University and/or
The Smithsonian would like to take
Ed to court for slander, so be it.

These corrupt *******s won't stand
a chance against Truth and physical
evidence.

MAN AS OLD AS COAL
http://www.edconrad.com

http://groups.google.com/group/alt.t...8969a886237f51

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WORLD'S TOP-RANKED UNIVERSITIES

Study Real Hard So You Can Become Almost As Smart
As Ed Conrad

Rank Name of University Country
1 Harvard University USA
2 University of Oxford UK
3 University of Cambridge UK
4 Stanford University USA
5 Mass. Institute of Technology USA
6 University of California, Berkeley USA
7 California Institute of Technology USA
8 Princeton University USA
9 Yale University USA
10 University of Chicago USA
11 Columbia University USA
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14 University of California, Los Angeles USA
15 University Pennsylvania USA
16 University of Wisconsin, Madison USA
17 University of Washington, Seattle USA
18 Tokyo University Japan
19 Univ. of California, San Francisco USA
20 University of Michigan, Ann Arbor USA
21 Kyoto University Japan
22 Imperial College London UK
23 Johns Hopkins University USA
24 University of Toronto Canada
25 University College London UK
26 University of Illinois, Urbana USA
27 Swiss Federal Institute of Technology, Zurich Switzerland
28 Washington University, St. Louis USA
29 New York University USA
30 Duke University USA
31 University of Minnesota, Twin Cities USA
32 Northwestern University USA
33 Rockefeller University USA
34 University of Colorado, Boulder USA
35 Univ.of California, Santa Barbara USA
36 University of British Columbia Canada
37 University of Maryland, College Park USA
38 Utrecht University Netherlands
39 University of Texas, Austin USA
40 University of Texas SW Med Center USA
41 Penn State University, University Park
42 University of California, Davis USA
43 Vanderbilt University USA
44 University of California, Irvine USA
45 University of Paris 06 France
46 University of Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh USA
47 University of Southern California USA
48 Rutgers University, New Brunswick USA
49 University of Manchester UK
50 Karolinska Institute, Stockholm Sweden
51 University of Munich Germany
52 Technical University of Munich Germany
53 University of Florida USA
54 University of Edinburgh UK
55 Australian National University Australia
56 Carnegie Mellon University USA
57 University of Copenhagen Denmark
58 University of Zurich Switzerland
59 Hebrew University, Jerusalem Israel
60 Osaka University Japan
61 McGill University Canada
62 University of Bristol UK
63 University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill
64 Uppsala University Sweden
65 Ohio State University, Columbus USA
66 University of Paris 11 France
67 University of Sheffield UK
68 University of Heidelberg Germany
69 University of Oslo Norway
70 Case Western Reserve University USA
71 Moscow State University Russia
72 University of Leiden Netherlands
73 Purdue University, West Lafayette USA
74 University of Helsinki Finland
75 University of Rochester USA
76 University of Melbourne Australia
77 Tohoku University Japan
78 University of Nottingham UK
79 University of Arizona USA
80 Michigan State University USA
81 King's College London UK
82 Boston University USA
83 University of Basel Switzerland
84 Stockholm University Sweden
85 Brown University USA
86 University of Goettingen Germany
87 Rice University USA
88 Texas A&M Univ. College Station USA
89 Tokyo Institute of Technology Japan
90 University of Birmingham UK
91 University of Utah USA
92 University of Freiburg Germany
93 McMaster University Canada
94 Nagoya University Japan
95 University of Iowa USA
96 University of Strasbourg 1 France
97 Ecole Normale Super Paris France
98 Indiana University, Bloomington USA
99 Arizona State University, Tempe USA
100 University of Rome La Sapienza Italy

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