NEWS BULLETIN -- Serial Killer on the Loose in Capitol

WASHINGTON, D.C. (Rueters) -- Passage
of President Obama's entire health-care reform
package seems assured after several dozen
Republican opponents of the bill were eaten
by piranha at a medical industry cocktail/swim
party last night.

"Some Son of a Bitch had rubbed canned
tuna inside their bathing trunks before
the legislators put them on, then released
dozens and dozens of piranha to enjoy
a happy meal," said police Lt. Ron
McDonald.

http://cardioplegia.files.wordpress....nha-normal.jpg

Father Guido Sarducci, former chaplain on
Saturday Night Live but now a lifeguard for
a large pharmaceutical company, witnessed
the smorgasboard and said it was "just awful."
He actually puked during an interview with the
White House press corps.

http://www.fathersarducci.com/images/sarduccioval.gif
Father Sarducci shows the size of some of the piranha

"Within seconds, the bluish water turned rosy
red and there was all kinds of splashing and
screaming in agony," he said. "Then all kinds
of body parts began surfacing -- arms, legs,
toes, eyeballs, Even flaccid penises. Believe
me, it wasn't very pleasant."

http://www.nevillepage.com/wp-conten...iranha-3d1.jpg

The cocktail/swim party reportedly was
supposed to be the corrupt legislators' last
get-together while getting their final instructions
on how to give President Obama and John Q.
Public a royal screwing on health-care reform.

The only legislator to be identified so far from
bits and pieces was Rep. Mike Ross of Arkansas,
who had been the guest of honor at seven
fund-raisers sponsored by major corporations
or their lobbyists this year.

Rejection of health-care reform reportedly
threatens the future financial security of the
longtime bribe-takers, therefore they have
become key brokers in opposing legislation
that seriously threatens the obscene profits
of the medical and health care industry.

Police had no suspects but are following
up leads that the stench of tuna leads to
a very large home on Pennsylvania Avenue.

=======================

FOR A MINUTE-BY-MINUTE UPDATE:
http://www.foxnews.com

While waiting for the updates, you
might want to take a peak at

MAN AS OLD AS COAL
http://www.edconrad.com

DEATH DOES NOT EXIST
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/Miracle.jpg
http://edconrad.com/lifeafterdeath

You may also want to watch...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxw1E...eature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wuW3bdsoRV0&NR=1