EINSTEINIAN BEAUTY

Building beauty:

http://www.renewamerica.us/columns/hutchison/080616
"Like bronze idols that are hollow inside, Einstein built a cluster of
"Potemkin villages," which are false fronts with nothing behind them.
Grigori Potemkin (17391791) was a general-field marshal, Russian
statesman, and favorite of Empress Catherine the Great. He is alleged
to have built facades of non-existent villages along desolate
stretches of the Dnieper River to impress Catherine as she sailed to
the Crimea in 1787. Actors posing as happy peasants stood in front of
these pretty stage sets and waved to the pleased Empress. (...) The
science establishment has a powerful romantic desire to believe in
Einstein. Therefore, they are not only fooled by Einstein's tricks,
they are prepared to defend his Potemkin villages. A Potemkin village
is a pretty picture to fool the gullible romantic. Einstein was
romantically infatuated with pretty pictures. He deliberately sought
theories that were aesthetically beautiful in their harmony, symmetry,
and simplicity. He romantically believed something akin to Keats'
famous poetic summation: "Beauty is truth and truth, beauty."

Institutionalizing beauty:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IqhlQfXUk7w
Silly Walks Applicant: "Well sir, I have a silly walk and I'd like to
obtain a Government grant to help me develop it....I think that with
Government backing I could make it very silly." Silly Walks Director:
"Mr Pudey, the very real problem is one of money. I'm afraid that the
Ministry of Silly Walks is no longer getting the kind of support it
needs. You see there's Defence, Social Security, Health, Housing,
Education, Silly Walks ... they're all supposed to get the same. But
last year, the Government spent less on the Ministry of Silly Walks
than it did on National Defence! Now we get 348,000,000 a year, which
is supposed to be spent on all our available products."

Selling beauty:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vuW6tQ0218
Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong
with it?
Mr. Praline: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead,
that's what's wrong with it!
Owner: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.
Mr. Praline: Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm
looking at one right now.
Owner: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird, the
Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!

Worshipping beauty:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandsty...handwellbeing2
"Everyone thinks that Einstein was so smart. Let's examine this. What
was his big contribution? Everyone knows that: the theory of
relativity. This theory states that, when moving near the speed of
light, everything is related. For example: say your uncle is moving at
the speed of light. Then he is also my uncle. Also, our uncle, moving
faster than the speed of light, becomes smaller and goes slightly back
in time, to the moment just before he accelerated past the speed of
light, at which time he goes back to his regular size. This can be a
good or a bad thing, depending on the original size of one's uncle.
The other theory Einstein developed was Heisenberg's Uncertainty
Principle, which stated that Einstein felt unsure about Heisenberg.
Heisenberg responded with his famous Einstein's Annoying Theory, which
stated that Heisenberg found Einstein hard to take. Some believe their
dispute originated when Einstein tricked Heisenberg into travelling
faster than the speed of light, thus decreasing Heisenberg's mass -
and Heisenberg was already quite small. After Heisenberg came back
from travelling at the speed of light, Einstein could hold him in one
hand. And often did, to Heisenberg's consternation, causing Einstein
to formulate his Heisenberg's Consternated Theorum. But history proved
Einstein wrong, since there is no such word as "consternated". The
idea that mass decreases as one approaches the speed of light is
compelling, especially for dieters. It implies that one way to lose
weight is to run, briefly, at the speed of light. As stated above, the
downside is one will also go back in time. So you'll be lighter, but
may find yourself in the 1400s, when everyone was lighter, due to
malnutrition, and no one will even notice you've lost weight. Also,
due to your modern clothes, you'll probably be declared a witch and
burned at the stake. On the bright side, post-burning, you'll achieve
your lowest body weight. Einstein once explained relativity like this:
"If you're sitting on a hot stove for even a minute, it will seem like
an eternity; but if you're sitting on a hot stove with a pretty girl,
your ass will burst into flames and not a girl in the world will seem
pretty. Trust me, I've tried it." Part of Einstein's mystique was his
tendency to wander around completely lost, hair sticking up, playing
the violin. Heisenberg tried this but was too small, well-organised
and balding, so ended up with neat hair, dragging his violin behind
him, sure where he was. And hence Einstein is remembered as the
greater genius."

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