Help! My poles are all shifted!

So when was I supposed to be shifted around by Planet X? I mean, I
can understand if the planet was delayed for some reason, like maybe
it bumped into its ex-satelite right around Saturn, but to not even
call or leave a message? It's beginning to seem like that one-night
stand all those years ago, with the dinosaurs and ice and stuff, that
didn't mean anything to Planet X. I know, I should probably let it
go, and get on with my life, but who's going to shift my poles now?
Who's going to wipe out 90% of the life on the planet, now that Planet
X is out of /my/ life?

I'm just looking for some closure, and some heavy mass to pass within
a few million kilometers of me. Is that so much to ask?