NOMINATION: alt.astronomy Coffee Boys for Clueless Newbie Award

Double-A wrote:

Ray Vingnutte wrote:
On 9 Oct 2005 04:29:09 -0700
"Double-A" wrote:

NOMINATION:

For their perpetual ineptitude and incompetence, their lack of
direction and purposefulness, their bad jokes and humorless responses,
their ability to be annoying while thinking they are being cool, and
their random mindedness and general cluelessness, I hereby NOMINATE
the
alt.astronomy Coffee Boys for the award of Clueless Newbies of the
Month for the month of October.

Any seconds?

Seconded.



Double-A



Thanks, Ray.
Thanks, Ray.

Double-A


--
Official Associate AFA-B Vote Rustler

"The original human being was a female hermaphrodite with
both male and female genitalia."

"Human beings CAN NOT live in a solar system without a sun
with a ferrite core and a planet without a solid iron core."

-- Alexa Cameron, Kook of the Year 2004

Aratzio wrote:

On 9 Oct 2005 12:59:04 -0700, "Double-A"
transparently proposed:


PJR wrote:
On 9 Oct 2005 04:29:09 -0700, Double-A wrote in
alt.usenet.kooks:

NOMINATION:

For their perpetual ineptitude and incompetence, their lack of
direction and purposefulness, their bad jokes and humorless responses,
their ability to be annoying while thinking they are being cool, and
their random mindedness and general cluelessness, I hereby NOMINATE the
alt.astronomy Coffee Boys for the award of Clueless Newbies of the
Month for the month of October.

Any seconds?

Please post a LITS of the Coffee Boys' names, so this nomination can
be properly evaluated.


PJR :-)
--
alt.usenet.kooks award-winners and FAQ:
http://www.insurgent.org/~kook-faq/


PJR,

The alt.astronomy Coffee Boy Corps are

Art Deco
Michael Baldwin Bruce
Aratzio
grabs pumps and tangos

ah
dave hillstrom
Dr. Flonkenstein

At least he remembered Doc F in teh lits o' hate.

Kadaitcha Man including socks
And obnoxious others.

Would that include PJR?


Duly nominated and seconded.

Vote Wrangler, do your duty!

You heard teh kook!


Double-A - em - see -oh

Could ya fix my transmission?

!!

--
Official Associate AFA-B Vote Rustler

"The original human being was a female hermaphrodite with
both male and female genitalia."

"Human beings CAN NOT live in a solar system without a sun
with a ferrite core and a planet without a solid iron core."

-- Alexa Cameron, Kook of the Year 2004

Aratzio wrote:
On 9 Oct 2005 12:59:04 -0700, "Double-A"
transparently proposed:


PJR wrote:
On 9 Oct 2005 04:29:09 -0700, Double-A wrote in
alt.usenet.kooks:

NOMINATION:

For their perpetual ineptitude and incompetence, their lack of
direction and purposefulness, their bad jokes and humorless responses,
their ability to be annoying while thinking they are being cool, and
their random mindedness and general cluelessness, I hereby NOMINATE the
alt.astronomy Coffee Boys for the award of Clueless Newbies of the
Month for the month of October.

Any seconds?

Please post a LITS of the Coffee Boys' names, so this nomination can
be properly evaluated.


PJR :-)
--
alt.usenet.kooks award-winners and FAQ:
http://www.insurgent.org/~kook-faq/


PJR,

The alt.astronomy Coffee Boy Corps are

Art Deco
Michael Baldwin Bruce
Aratzio
grabs pumps and tangos

ah
dave hillstrom
Dr. Flonkenstein
Kadaitcha Man including socks
And obnoxious others.

Would that include PJR?


Duly nominated and seconded.

Vote Wrangler, do your duty!

You heard teh kook!


Double-A - em - see -oh

Could ya fix my transmission?


No, but my friends did used to call me that.

On 9 Oct 2005 18:00:21 -0700, "Double-A" wrote:


Aratzio wrote:
On 9 Oct 2005 12:59:04 -0700, "Double-A"
transparently proposed:


PJR wrote:
On 9 Oct 2005 04:29:09 -0700, Double-A wrote in
alt.usenet.kooks:

NOMINATION:

For their perpetual ineptitude and incompetence, their lack of
direction and purposefulness, their bad jokes and humorless responses,
their ability to be annoying while thinking they are being cool, and
their random mindedness and general cluelessness, I hereby NOMINATE the
alt.astronomy Coffee Boys for the award of Clueless Newbies of the
Month for the month of October.

Any seconds?

Please post a LITS of the Coffee Boys' names, so this nomination can
be properly evaluated.


PJR :-)
--
alt.usenet.kooks award-winners and FAQ:
http://www.insurgent.org/~kook-faq/


PJR,

The alt.astronomy Coffee Boy Corps are

Art Deco
Michael Baldwin Bruce
Aratzio
grabs pumps and tangos

ah
dave hillstrom
Dr. Flonkenstein
Kadaitcha Man including socks
And obnoxious others.

Would that include PJR?


Duly nominated and seconded.

Vote Wrangler, do your duty!

You heard teh kook!


Double-A - em - see -oh

Could ya fix my transmission?


No, but my friends did used to call me that.

A;ways had your stick out and shifting?
--

Pierre Salinger Hook, Line & Sinker - May, 2005

Hammer of Thor - July, 2005

Art Deco wrote:
Aratzio wrote:

On Sun, 09 Oct 2005 21:38:08 +0100, PJR
transparently proposed:

On 9 Oct 2005 12:59:04 -0700, Double-A wrote in
alt.usenet.kooks:

PJR wrote:
On 9 Oct 2005 04:29:09 -0700, Double-A wrote in
alt.usenet.kooks:

NOMINATION:

For their perpetual ineptitude and incompetence, their lack of
direction and purposefulness, their bad jokes and humorless responses,
their ability to be annoying while thinking they are being cool, and
their random mindedness and general cluelessness, I hereby NOMINATE the
alt.astronomy Coffee Boys for the award of Clueless Newbies of the
Month for the month of October.

Any seconds?

Please post a LITS of the Coffee Boys' names, so this nomination can
be properly evaluated.


PJR :-)
--
alt.usenet.kooks award-winners and FAQ:
http://www.insurgent.org/~kook-faq/


PJR,

The alt.astronomy Coffee Boy Corps are

Art Deco

*ding* #1 on da lits again!


You earned it, Art.


Michael Baldwin Bruce
Aratzio
ah
dave hillstrom
Dr. Flonkenstein
Kadaitcha Man including socks
And obnoxious others.

Double-A wrote:

Art Deco wrote:
Aratzio wrote:

On Sun, 09 Oct 2005 21:38:08 +0100, PJR
transparently proposed:

On 9 Oct 2005 12:59:04 -0700, Double-A wrote in
alt.usenet.kooks:

PJR wrote:
On 9 Oct 2005 04:29:09 -0700, Double-A wrote in
alt.usenet.kooks:

NOMINATION:

For their perpetual ineptitude and incompetence, their lack of
direction and purposefulness, their bad jokes and humorless responses,
their ability to be annoying while thinking they are being cool, and
their random mindedness and general cluelessness, I hereby NOMINATE the
alt.astronomy Coffee Boys for the award of Clueless Newbies of the
Month for the month of October.

Any seconds?

Please post a LITS of the Coffee Boys' names, so this nomination can
be properly evaluated.


PJR :-)
--
alt.usenet.kooks award-winners and FAQ:
http://www.insurgent.org/~kook-faq/


PJR,

The alt.astronomy Coffee Boy Corps are

Art Deco

*ding* #1 on da lits again!


You earned it, Art.

A tip o' the ninety gallon sombrero, saucerhead.


Michael Baldwin Bruce
Aratzio
ah
dave hillstrom
Dr. Flonkenstein
Kadaitcha Man including socks
And obnoxious others.



--
Official Associate AFA-B Vote Rustler

"The original human being was a female hermaphrodite with
both male and female genitalia."

"Human beings CAN NOT live in a solar system without a sun
with a ferrite core and a planet without a solid iron core."

-- Alexa Cameron, Kook of the Year 2004

On Mon, 10 Oct 2005 03:28:50 +0545
"Kadaitcha Man" wrote:

Ray Vingnutte, , the three-quarter,
tumble-down
farm animal, and prompter in the theater, scoffed:

On Sun, 09 Oct 2005 18:28:11 +0545
"Kadaitcha Man" wrote:

Ray Vingnutte, , the condensed,
tumourous camel, and attendant of the kept woman, blurted:

On Sun, 09 Oct 2005 18:08:23 +0545
"Kadaitcha Man" wrote:

Ray Vingnutte, , the passionless,
tailing ice-cream seller, and person employed to wake up
nocturnal
animals in disreputable wildlife parks, huddled:

On Sun, 09 Oct 2005 17:40:04 +0545
"Kadaitcha Man" wrote:

Ray Vingnutte, , the errhine,
stubby
pig, and itinerant food trader, enjoined:

On 9 Oct 2005 04:44:26 -0700
"Michael Baldwin Bruce" wrote:

Bruce AKA Kadaitcha Man wrote:
Double-A, , the blotchy, insecure retard,
and employee who jumps through hoops, exhausted:

NOMINATION:

For my perpetual ineptitude and incompetence, my lack of
direction and purposefulness, my bad jokes and humorless
responses,
my ability to be annoying while thinking I am being cool,
and
my random mindedness and general cluelessness, I hereby
NOMINATE myself for the award of Clueless Newbie of the
Month
for the month of October.

Any seconds?

Double-A

Conjugated for the sake of TRVTH! on usenet.

Oooooh, it looks like Double-Anus has got a burr up his arses
about something.

Nope, it's just that you are so bloody clueless Bruce, and we
here believe in credit where it's due, and boy you are one
clueless coffee boy, perhaps amongst the worse we have seen
here.

Is that a royal we or isn't your medication holding your
multiple
personality syndrome in check?

No, no no, that's just not good enough, you need to

You need to answer the question. It stands. Answer it. Is that a
royal we or isn't your medication holding your multiple
personality
syndrome in check?

How about an 'I still don't get it' award or 'I'm never going to
get
this in a month of Sundays' award.

If that's what you want out of life, go for it. And don't go
yelling
and bleating IKYABWAI. Your ****ed up sentence has no object so you
must have dropped into conversational style and are therefore
referring to yourself.

At the moment you

You still need to answer the question. It stands. Answer it. Is
that
a royal we or isn't your medication holding your multiple
personality
syndrome in check?

Ok, how about

How about you answer the question. It stands. Answer it. Is that a
royal we
or isn't your medication holding your multiple personality syndrome in

check?

Ok, we can see you are mentally lacking, no need to over do it.



--
Pierre Salinger Memorial HL&S, September 2005.

DISCLAIMER: The content does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of
either
my ISP, myself, my company or employer, my friends (if any,) my
goldfish or
my neighbour's mad dog; don't quote me on that; don't quote me on
anything;
all rights reserved; the post is distribution copyrighted to the
extent that
you may distribute the post and all its associated parts freely but
you may
not make a profit from it or include the post in commercial
publications
without written permission from the Prime Minister of Hutt Province;
other
copyright laws for specific posts apply wherever noted or not noted,
either
deliberately, negligently, or otherwise; posts are subject to change
without
notice; posts are slightly enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to

actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely
coincidental;
hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate,
or
spindle; do not pass go; do not collect $200; your mileage may vary;
no
substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; the post is void where

prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; the post is provided "as
is"
without any warranties expressed or implied; user assumes full
liabilities;
not liable for damages due to use or misuse; an equal opportunity
abuse
employer; no shoes, no shirt; quantities are limited while supplies
last; if
defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself but return
to an
authorised post service centre; caveat emptor; read at your own risk;
parental advisory - explicit words; text may contain material some
readers
may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised; not suitable for

children; not suitable for adults; not for human consumption; keep
away from
sunlight, pets and small children; limit one-per-family; no money
down; no
purchase necessary; to approved purchasers only; facsimiles are
acceptable
in South Australia; you need not be present to read this post; some
assembly
required; batteries not included; action figures sold separately; no
preservatives added; tools not included; safety goggles may be
required
during use; sealed for your protection, do not use if the safety seal
is
broken; call before you dig; for external use only; if a rash,
redness,
irritation or swelling develops, discontinue use; use only with proper

ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool, dry
place; keep
away from open flames, naked flames and old flames; avoid inhaling
fumes;
avoid contact with mucous membranes; do not puncture, incinerate, or
store
above 60 degrees Centigrade; do not place near flammable or magnetic
source;
smoking the post may be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard,
second
only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh; text used on the post
is
made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles; no animals
were
used to test the hilarity of this post other than Synapse Syndrome; no
salt,
MSG, artificial colour or flavour added; may contain traces of replies
to
peanuts; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist,
consult
your humourologist; post is ribbed for your pleasure; slippery when
wet;
must be 18 to read; possible penalties for early withdrawal; post
offer
valid only in participating newsgroups; slightly higher in South
Australia;
allow four to six weeks for delivery; damage from hurricane,
lightning,
tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood, orgasm,
misuse,
self-abuse, neglect, unauthorised repair, damage from improper
installation,
broken antenna, marred cabinet, incorrect line voltage, missing or
altered
serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from
nuclear blasts or other Acts of God are not covered; incidents owing
to
aeroplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, leaky roof,
broken
glass, falling rocks, mud slides, forest fire, flying projectiles or
dropping the item are also excluded; other restrictions may apply. If
something offends you, lighten up, get a life, and move on. All
conditions
apply. Not available in all stores. Facts have been changed to protect
the
guilty.

On 9 Oct 2005 12:06:26 -0700
"Double-A" wrote:


Ray Vingnutte wrote:
On 9 Oct 2005 04:29:09 -0700
"Double-A" wrote:

NOMINATION:

For their perpetual ineptitude and incompetence, their lack of
direction and purposefulness, their bad jokes and humorless
responses,
their ability to be annoying while thinking they are being cool,
and
their random mindedness and general cluelessness, I hereby
NOMINATE
the
alt.astronomy Coffee Boys for the award of Clueless Newbies of the
Month for the month of October.

Any seconds?

Seconded.



Double-A



Thanks, Ray.

A pleasure indeed. The really clueless deserve it.


Double-A

Ray Vingnutte, , the left-wing, scared flasher,
and winner of online gurning competitions, denounced:

On Mon, 10 Oct 2005 03:28:50 +0545
"Kadaitcha Man" wrote:

Ray Vingnutte, , the three-quarter,
tumble-down farm animal, and prompter in the theater, scoffed:

On Sun, 09 Oct 2005 18:28:11 +0545
"Kadaitcha Man" wrote:

Ray Vingnutte, , the condensed,
tumourous camel, and attendant of the kept woman, blurted:

On Sun, 09 Oct 2005 18:08:23 +0545
"Kadaitcha Man" wrote:

Ray Vingnutte, , the passionless,
tailing ice-cream seller, and person employed to wake up
nocturnal animals in disreputable wildlife parks, huddled:

On Sun, 09 Oct 2005 17:40:04 +0545
"Kadaitcha Man" wrote:

Ray Vingnutte, , the errhine,
stubby pig, and itinerant food trader, enjoined:

On 9 Oct 2005 04:44:26 -0700
"Michael Baldwin Bruce" wrote:

Bruce AKA Kadaitcha Man wrote:
Double-A, , the blotchy, insecure retard,
and employee who jumps through hoops, exhausted:

NOMINATION:

For my perpetual ineptitude and incompetence, my lack of
direction and purposefulness, my bad jokes and humorless
responses,
my ability to be annoying while thinking I am being cool,
and my random mindedness and general cluelessness, I hereby
NOMINATE myself for the award of Clueless Newbie of the
Month for the month of October.

Any seconds?

Double-A

Conjugated for the sake of TRVTH! on usenet.

Oooooh, it looks like Double-Anus has got a burr up his arses
about something.

Nope, it's just that you are so bloody clueless Bruce, and we
here believe in credit where it's due, and boy you are one
clueless coffee boy, perhaps amongst the worse we have seen
here.

Is that a royal we or isn't your medication holding your
multiple personality syndrome in check?

No, no no, that's just not good enough, you need to

You need to answer the question. It stands. Answer it. Is that a
royal we or isn't your medication holding your multiple
personality syndrome in check?

How about an 'I still don't get it' award or 'I'm never going to
get this in a month of Sundays' award.

If that's what you want out of life, go for it. And don't go
yelling and bleating IKYABWAI. Your ****ed up sentence has no
object so you must have dropped into conversational style and are
therefore referring to yourself.

At the moment you

You still need to answer the question. It stands. Answer it. Is
that a royal we or isn't your medication holding your multiple
personality syndrome in check?

Ok, how about

How about you answer the question. It stands. Answer it. Is that a
royal we or isn't your medication holding your multiple personality
syndrome in

check?

Ok, we can see you are mentally lacking, no need to over do it.

Is that a royal we or isn't your medication holding your multiple
personality syndrome in check?

--
Pierre Salinger Memorial HL&S, September 2005.

DISCLAIMER: The content does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either
my ISP, myself, my company or employer, my friends (if any,) my goldfish or
my neighbour's mad dog; don't quote me on that; don't quote me on anything;
all rights reserved; the post is distribution copyrighted to the extent that
you may distribute the post and all its associated parts freely but you may
not make a profit from it or include the post in commercial publications
without written permission from the Prime Minister of Hutt Province; other
copyright laws for specific posts apply wherever noted or not noted, either
deliberately, negligently, or otherwise; posts are subject to change without
notice; posts are slightly enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to
actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental;
hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, or
spindle; do not pass go; do not collect $200; your mileage may vary; no
substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; the post is void where
prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; the post is provided "as is"
without any warranties expressed or implied; user assumes full liabilities;
not liable for damages due to use or misuse; an equal opportunity abuse
employer; no shoes, no shirt; quantities are limited while supplies last; if
defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself but return to an
authorised post service centre; caveat emptor; read at your own risk;
parental advisory - explicit words; text may contain material some readers
may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised; not suitable for
children; not suitable for adults; not for human consumption; keep away from
sunlight, pets and small children; limit one-per-family; no money down; no
purchase necessary; to approved purchasers only; facsimiles are acceptable
in South Australia; you need not be present to read this post; some assembly
required; batteries not included; action figures sold separately; no
preservatives added; tools not included; safety goggles may be required
during use; sealed for your protection, do not use if the safety seal is
broken; call before you dig; for external use only; if a rash, redness,
irritation or swelling develops, discontinue use; use only with proper
ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool, dry place; keep
away from open flames, naked flames and old flames; avoid inhaling fumes;
avoid contact with mucous membranes; do not puncture, incinerate, or store
above 60 degrees Centigrade; do not place near flammable or magnetic source;
smoking the post may be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second
only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh; text used on the post is
made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles; no animals were
used to test the hilarity of this post other than Synapse Syndrome; no salt,
MSG, artificial colour or flavour added; may contain traces of replies to
peanuts; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult
your humourologist; post is ribbed for your pleasure; slippery when wet;
must be 18 to read; possible penalties for early withdrawal; post offer
valid only in participating newsgroups; slightly higher in South Australia;
allow four to six weeks for delivery; damage from hurricane, lightning,
tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood, orgasm, misuse,
self-abuse, neglect, unauthorised repair, damage from improper installation,
broken antenna, marred cabinet, incorrect line voltage, missing or altered
serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from
nuclear blasts or other Acts of God are not covered; incidents owing to
aeroplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, leaky roof, broken
glass, falling rocks, mud slides, forest fire, flying projectiles or
dropping the item are also excluded; other restrictions may apply. If
something offends you, lighten up, get a life, and move on. All conditions
apply. Not available in all stores. Facts have been changed to protect the
guilty.

"Kadaitcha Man" wrote in message
.erotica.golden.showers...
Ray Vingnutte, , the left-wing, scared
flasher,
and winner of online gurning competitions, denounced:

On Mon, 10 Oct 2005 03:28:50 +0545
"Kadaitcha Man" wrote:

Ray Vingnutte, , the three-quarter,
tumble-down farm animal, and prompter in the theater, scoffed:

On Sun, 09 Oct 2005 18:28:11 +0545
"Kadaitcha Man" wrote:

Ray Vingnutte, , the condensed,
tumourous camel, and attendant of the kept woman, blurted:

On Sun, 09 Oct 2005 18:08:23 +0545
"Kadaitcha Man" wrote:

Ray Vingnutte, , the passionless,
tailing ice-cream seller, and person employed to wake up
nocturnal animals in disreputable wildlife parks, huddled:

On Sun, 09 Oct 2005 17:40:04 +0545
"Kadaitcha Man" wrote:

Ray Vingnutte, , the errhine,
stubby pig, and itinerant food trader, enjoined:

On 9 Oct 2005 04:44:26 -0700
"Michael Baldwin Bruce" wrote:

Bruce AKA Kadaitcha Man wrote:
Double-A, , the blotchy, insecure retard,
and employee who jumps through hoops, exhausted:

NOMINATION:

For my perpetual ineptitude and incompetence, my lack of
direction and purposefulness, my bad jokes and humorless
responses,
my ability to be annoying while thinking I am being cool,
and my random mindedness and general cluelessness, I hereby
NOMINATE myself for the award of Clueless Newbie of the
Month for the month of October.

Any seconds?

Double-A

Conjugated for the sake of TRVTH! on usenet.

Oooooh, it looks like Double-Anus has got a burr up his arses
about something.

Nope, it's just that you are so bloody clueless Bruce, and we
here believe in credit where it's due, and boy you are one
clueless coffee boy, perhaps amongst the worse we have seen
here.

Is that a royal we or isn't your medication holding your
multiple personality syndrome in check?

No, no no, that's just not good enough, you need to

You need to answer the question. It stands. Answer it. Is that a
royal we or isn't your medication holding your multiple
personality syndrome in check?

How about an 'I still don't get it' award or 'I'm never going to
get this in a month of Sundays' award.

If that's what you want out of life, go for it. And don't go
yelling and bleating IKYABWAI. Your ****ed up sentence has no
object so you must have dropped into conversational style and are
therefore referring to yourself.

At the moment you

You still need to answer the question. It stands. Answer it. Is
that a royal we or isn't your medication holding your multiple
personality syndrome in check?

Ok, how about

How about you answer the question. It stands. Answer it. Is that a
royal we or isn't your medication holding your multiple personality
syndrome in

check?

Ok, we can see you are mentally lacking, no need to over do it.

Is that a royal we or isn't your medication holding your multiple
personality syndrome in check?

Do you realize that you and Fred sometimes act up like a unit?


--
Pierre Salinger Memorial HL&S, September 2005.

DISCLAIMER: The content does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of
either
my ISP, myself, my company or employer, my friends (if any,) my goldfish
or
my neighbour's mad dog; don't quote me on that; don't quote me on
anything;
all rights reserved; the post is distribution copyrighted to the extent
that
you may distribute the post and all its associated parts freely but you
may
not make a profit from it or include the post in commercial publications
without written permission from the Prime Minister of Hutt Province; other
copyright laws for specific posts apply wherever noted or not noted,
either
deliberately, negligently, or otherwise; posts are subject to change
without
notice; posts are slightly enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to
actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental;
hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, or
spindle; do not pass go; do not collect $200; your mileage may vary; no
substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; the post is void where
prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; the post is provided "as is"
without any warranties expressed or implied; user assumes full
liabilities;
not liable for damages due to use or misuse; an equal opportunity abuse
employer; no shoes, no shirt; quantities are limited while supplies last;
if
defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself but return to
an
authorised post service centre; caveat emptor; read at your own risk;
parental advisory - explicit words; text may contain material some readers
may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised; not suitable for
children; not suitable for adults; not for human consumption; keep away
from
sunlight, pets and small children; limit one-per-family; no money down; no
purchase necessary; to approved purchasers only; facsimiles are acceptable
in South Australia; you need not be present to read this post; some
assembly
required; batteries not included; action figures sold separately; no
preservatives added; tools not included; safety goggles may be required
during use; sealed for your protection, do not use if the safety seal is
broken; call before you dig; for external use only; if a rash, redness,
irritation or swelling develops, discontinue use; use only with proper
ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool, dry place;
keep
away from open flames, naked flames and old flames; avoid inhaling fumes;
avoid contact with mucous membranes; do not puncture, incinerate, or store
above 60 degrees Centigrade; do not place near flammable or magnetic
source;
smoking the post may be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard,
second
only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh; text used on the post is
made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles; no animals were
used to test the hilarity of this post other than Synapse Syndrome; no
salt,
MSG, artificial colour or flavour added; may contain traces of replies to
peanuts; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult
your humourologist; post is ribbed for your pleasure; slippery when wet;
must be 18 to read; possible penalties for early withdrawal; post offer
valid only in participating newsgroups; slightly higher in South
Australia;
allow four to six weeks for delivery; damage from hurricane, lightning,
tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood, orgasm, misuse,
self-abuse, neglect, unauthorised repair, damage from improper
installation,
broken antenna, marred cabinet, incorrect line voltage, missing or altered
serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from
nuclear blasts or other Acts of God are not covered; incidents owing to
aeroplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, leaky roof, broken
glass, falling rocks, mud slides, forest fire, flying projectiles or
dropping the item are also excluded; other restrictions may apply. If
something offends you, lighten up, get a life, and move on. All conditions
apply. Not available in all stores. Facts have been changed to protect the
guilty.