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A nuclear Accident



 
 
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Old November 23rd 05, 09:33 AM posted to alt.alien.visitors,alt.alien.research,alt.astronomy
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Default A nuclear Accident

Chris (no-spam) wrote:
Hello


Oh, wow. Hi.

I was working in the lab one day and the two sub critical masses of U-235
were delivered. I held them with tweezers to see them glow red hot.


Cherenkov effect glows blue/green - haven't you ever seen the opening
to the Simpsons?

The two of us had totally black radiation protection badges that day.


What color were your radiation detection badges?

Then I thought that I would put the two bits of metal together in a bottle,
held them at arms length "to see what happened".


Stayed at arm's length, did they?

Well the woman sitting
near me said "I don't like this" stood up and walked into the bottle and the
fireball formed, just reaching my elbow.


The woman or the fireball?

I let it go through the roof.


Wow, even for a teenager, that's really something! Not even Portnoy
ever bragged about letting it go through the roof.

However when they found me, there was a man watching from the door, I was
just a charred corpse with a stumpy right arm reaching out. They noticed my
brain and eyes were missing and decided that these had vapourised first.


Before or after this movie started?

I'm still using my brain and I wrapped it with a new body just like the old
one and went back to work. I sent the two bits of metal now separated as
the two fission products back to the atomic weapons factory.


Good boy! There's a 20 cents deposit on those.

A nice young man came to see me and asked me what I was up to.


Did you answer 4' 7"?

I said I was testing our atomic explosion limiter to protect our spacecraft.


Not explosion - detonation.

He left in a hurry.


Why didn't he leave in the spacecraft?

Only the feet and shoes of the unfortunate woman who I was working with were
ever found. Her data could not be recovered. I think the relatives had to
make do with an unprogrammed identical woman to learn it all again.


So, the new blow-up doll worked out for them? Will they be sitting her
at the big table or the little one for Thanksgiving?

I've seen my body in the museum of nuclear accidents in a glass case. My
photo "as he was" is next to it....


And next to that is the Coke machine!

As a note, I will tell you that I once gave a short talk about the solar
system and our spacecraft in one of my alien bodies (A bit like a giant
grasshopper) and I remember they wanted me to take my monkey suit off...


Oh, sorry, we didn't know it was a suit!

One
man came and hit me to see If I was "real" and I used my second pair of arms
to throw him across the room. I gave demonstrations of our technology but
everyone thought that it was a counjering trick.


No, that was a conjoining trick.

They soon had the problem of keeping the fact that an alien worked at this
space research facility quiet. I showed them oneof our controlled yeild
bombs and deomonstrated it at minumum yeild in a hut.


Pizza Hut?

Not even Santa on Mars had one of those!

That really caused
problems. I was impressed by ther radio location huts where Hitlers
transmitters were detected and pin pointed in a few minutes of
transmitting. The Britsh had their enemy surrounded and nearly didn't win.


OK, thanks very much. Now go see the nice Vorlon down the hall.

You may take this as fiction.


I'd take it to the dump.

Chris.


Craft!
Kringle!

Tune in tomorrow for another episode of MST3k.

Pearl

"Crowe and Turbo since 1992."

 




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