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GOOGLE YOUR BEST BET FOR COVERAGE OF PAPAL CONCLAVE
(EDITOR'S NOTE: Google readers won't miss a trick when the College of Cardinals meets behind closed doors to elect a new Pope, beginning Tuesday. (Fr. Guido Sarducci, who knows Vatican City like the back of his hand and has confidential informants in every nook and cranny, is covering the monumental event exclusively for us and will keep you posted on all of the scuttlebutt. (But right now, with a few days to go, things admittedly are rather slow and boring inside the Sistine Chapel. (To kill time, Father Sarducci -- the ex-Saturday Night Live would-be comedien who was fired and couldn't find a job, therefore entered the seminary -- is answering questions pertinent to religion and electing a brand-new Pontiff.) http://www.fathersarducci.com/images/sarduccioval.gif TODAY'S QUESTION Submitted by Ed Conrad (*) of Mountain View, CA, U.S.A. Dear Father Sarducci: Without revealing names or places, what would you consider your funniest experience while hearing Confessions? ANSWER Well, Ed, I'd have to say it was the time I was hearing Confessions in Beverly Hills when a man confessed that he had been "playing" with himself . Along with three Our Fathers and three Hail Marys, I instructed him to wash his right hand in the Holy Water in the fountain a short distance from the Confessional. Well, my next sinner was a rather buxom middle-age blonde who did something ever worse. After I gave her a suitable penance, she left the Confessional -- and just moments later I heard a heated argument near the fountain. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" she was screaming at the man who had been to confession just before her. "Don't wash your DIRTY HANDS in the Holy Water. I have to GARGLE with it." =============== * Please take this story with a grain of salt. After all, Ed Conrad holds the Guinness Book of Records record for Most Lies in One Lifetime. See if you count the lies. http://groups.google.com/group/alt.f...2305f02e955b66 http://www.edconrad.com http://www.edconrad.org =================== JUST A FEW EUROPEAN NEWSPAPERS ALBANIA Albanian Times (English) Koha Jone Rilindja Demokratike ANDORRA Diari d'Andorra AUSTRIA Amtsblatt der Republik (Vienna) Kronen Zeitung Kurier Die Presse Ober?rreichischen Nachrichten Salzburger Nachrichten (Salzburg) Der Standard (Vienna) Vorarlberger Nachrichten (Bregenz) Wiener Zeitung (Vienna) BELARUS Belarusnews Vecherny Minsk BELGIUM De Financieel Ekonomische Tijd (Antwerp) De Morgen (Brussels) Het Belang van Limburg (Limburg) Het Laatste Nieuws (Brussels) Het Volk (Brussels) La Libre Belgique (Brussels) La Meuse (Liege, Sud Presse) La Nouvelle Gazette (Charleroi) De Standaard ( (Brussels) BOSNIA-HERZEGOVINA Dnevni avaz (Sarajevo) Hrvatska Rijec (Sarajevo) BULGARIA ITK PARI (Sofia) Kapital (Sofia) Sega (Sofia) Standart News (Sofia) CROATIA Feral Tribune (Split) Glas Koncila (Hrvatska, Zagreb) Monitor (Zagreb) Slobodna Dalmacija (Split) Vecernji list (Zagreb) Vjesnik (Zagreb) CYPRUS Cyprus Mail (Nicosia) (English) Cyprus News Agency Cyprus Today Politis news (Nicosia) Simerini (Nicosia) CZECH REPUBLIC Cesk Noviny (Prague) Hospodarske Noviny (Prague) iDNES (Prague) Lidove Noviny (Prague) Neviditelny Pes (Prague) Prague Daily Monitor (Prague) (English) Prague Post (Prague) (English) DENMARK Stiftstidende (Copenhagen) Berlingske Tidende (Copenhagen) Bornholms Tidende (Ronne) Copenhagen Post, The (Copenhagen) (English) Dagbladet B? (Copenhagen) DanskeNyheder Ekstra Bladet (Copenhagen) Engineering Weekly (Copenhagen) Folkebladet Fyens Stiftstidende (Odense) Jydske Vestkysten Jyllands-Posten (Viby) Lolland-Falsters Folketidende Nordjyske Stiftstidende (Aalborg) Politiken (Copenhagen) ESTONIA The Baltic Times (English) Delovye Vedomosti (Tallinn) Eesti Ekspress Eesti Paevaleht Postimees (Tallinn) Sonumileht (Tallinn) FINLAND Aamulehti (Tampere) HäÂÂÂ*Â¥en Sanomat (Hameenlinna) Helsingin Sanomat (Helsinki) Helsingin Sanomat International Edition (Helsinki) (English) Hufvudstadsbladet (Helsinki) Iltalehti (Helsinki) Ilta-Sanomat (Helsinki) Jakobstads Tidning (Jakobstad) Kaleva (Oulu) Kauppalehti Online Keskisuomalainen Laitilan Sanomat Savo Laukaa-Konnevesi Turun Sanomat (Turku) Vasabladet FRANCE L'Alsace Journal (Alsace) Le Bien Public (Bourgogne) Charente Libre (Charente) Le Courrier de Mantes (Mantes) Le Courrier Picard (Picardie) du Midi Dernieres Nouvelles d'Alsace (Alsace) Les Echos L'Est Ré°µblicain (Nancy) Le Figaro (Paris) France-Amerique (Paris) International Herald Tribune (English) (Paris) Le Monde (Paris) Le Monde Diplomatique (France) Le Telegramme - Bretagne On Line (Brittany) Liberation (Paris) Monaco Actualite (Monaco) Nice-Matin (Nice) Le Nouvel Observateur (Paris) Ouest France (Brittany, Rennes) Le Parisien (Paris) Le Ré°µblicain Lorrain (Lorraine, Metz) Regards (Paris) Sud Oest (Aquitaine, Bordeaux) La Tribune (Paris) Voix du Nord GEORGIA Daily Georgia Times (English) Svobodnaya Gruzia GERMANY Augsburger Allgemeine (Bavaria, Augsburg) Badische Zeitung (Freiburg) Berliner Morgenpost (Berlin) Berlin Online (Berlin) Berliner Zeitung (Berlin) Bild Die Tageszeitung Online Die Welt Die Zeit Online Frankenpost Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung (Frankfurt) Frankfurter Rundschau (Frankfurt) General-Anzeiger (Nordrhein-Westfalen, Bonn) German Daily Newspapers Haller Tagblatt & KreisKurier (Baden-Wurttemberg, Schwabisch Hall ) Hamburger Abendblatt (Hamburg) Hamburger Morgenpost (Hamburg) Handelsblatt (D?orf) Holsteinischer Courier (Schleswig-Holstein, Neumunster) Iserlohner Kreisanzeiger und Zeitung (Nordrhein-Westfalen , Iserlohn) K?r Stadt-Anzeiger (Koln) Leipziger Volkszeitung (Sachsen, Leipzig) L?r Nachrichten (Schleswig Holstein, Lubeck) Main-Echo (Bavaria, Aschaffenburg) Mainpost (Wurzburg) Neue Presse (Hannover) Norddeutsche Neueste Nachrichten (Rostock) Nordwest-Zeitung (Oldenburg) Rheinische Post Online (Dusseldorf) Rhein-Zeitung (Koblenz) (Koblenz) Saarbr?Zeitung (Saarbr? Saarland) Schwabacher Tagblatt (Schwabach, Bavaria) Suddeutsche Zeitung (Bavaria, Munich) Der Tagesspiegel (Berlin) Trierischer Volksfreund (Trier) Westdeutsche Allgemeine Zeitung (Ruhrgebiet) Westf䬩sche Nachrichten (Nordrhein-Westfalen, Munster) Westf䬩schen Rundschau (Nordrhein-Westfalen, Dortmund) GIBRALTAR Gibraltar Chronicle (Gibraltar) (English) Panorama (Gibraltar) (English) GREECE Athens News (Athens) (English) Eleftherotypia (Athens) Kathimerini (Athens) (English) Ta Nea (Athens) HUNGARY Budapest Business Journal (Budapest) (English) The Budapest Sun (Budapest) (English) Duna?os (Fejer, Dunaujvaros) Magyar Demokrata (Budapest) Magyar Forum (Budapest) Magyar H?ap (Budapest) Nepszabadsag (Budapest) Nzava (Budapest) ICELAND Morgunbladid á Žetinu (Reykjavik) Skarpur (Reykjavik) V?r (Reykjavik) IRELAND Examiner, The (Cork) Galway Advertiser, The (Galway) Irish Independent, The (Dublin) Irish News (Belfast) Irish Times (Dublin) Kerryman Newspaper, The (County Kerry) Munster Express, The Sunday Business Post, The ITALY Alto Adige (Bolzano) Brescia Oggi (Brescia) Il Centro (Abruzzo, Pescara) Chiamami Città¼/a (Rimini) Corriere del Giorno (Taranto) Corriere della Sera Dolomiten L'Eco di Bergamo (Bergamo) Il Foglio Gazzetta de Mantova (Mantova) Gazzetta di Reggio (Reggio) Giornale (Bologna) Internazionale Il Giornale di Vicenza (Vicenza) Il Manifesto (Rome) L'Arena (Verona) La Nazione (Florence) Nuova Ferrara (Ferrara) La Nuova Sardegna (Sassari) La Nuova Venezia (Venezia) Il Piccolo di Trieste (Trieste) La Provincia Pavese (Pavia, Pavia) La Repubblica Il Resto del Carlino (Bologna) La Stampa (Turin) Il Tirreno (Livorno) La Tribuna di Treviso (Treviso) L'Unione Sarda (Cagliari) LATVIA The Baltic Times (English) Diena (Riga) Neatariga Rita Avize (Riga) Zemgales Zinas (Jelgava) LIECHTENSTEIN Liechtensteiner Vaterland LITHUANIA Lietuvos Rytas (Vilnius) Lietuvos Zinios (Vilnius) LUXEMBERG Lebuerger Journal Luxemburger Wort Tageblatt MACEDONIA Dnevnik (Skopje) Makedonsko Sonce (Skopje) Utrinski Vesnik (Skopje) MALTA The Business Times (Valletta) (English) The Malta Independent (Valletta) (English) Malta Today (Valletta) (English) The Times & Sunday Times (Valletta) (English) MOLDOVA Tineretul (Chisinau) NETHERLANDS Algemeen Dagblad (Zuid-Holland, Rotterdam) Cobouw (Zuid-Holland, The Hague) Dagblad De Limburger (Limburg, Maastricht) Het Financieele Dagblad (Noord-Brabant, Eindhoven) Eindhovens Dagblad (Noord-Holland, Amsterdam) Haagsche Courant (Zuid-Holland, The Hague) Haarlems Dagblad (Noord-Holland, Haarlem) Het Belang van Limburg (Giessen, Limburg) Het Parool (Noord-Holland, Amsterdam) NRC Handelsblad (Zuid-Holland, Rotterdam) Rotterdams Dagblad (Rotterdam) Tctubantia (Overijssel, Enschede) Trouw (Noord-Holland, Amsterdam) De Volkskrant (Noord-Holland, Amsterdam) NORWAY Adresseavisen (Trondheim) Aftenposten (Oslo) Aftenposten: English Version (Oslo) (English) Agderposten (Aust-Agder, Arendal) Avisa Nordland (Bodo) Avisa S??ag (Sor-Trondelag, Orkanger) Bergens Tidende (Hordaland, Bergen) Bergensavisen (Hordaland, Bergen) Dag og Tid (Oslo) Dagbladet (Oslo) Dagens N沩ngsliv (Oslo) Dagsavisen (Oslo) F椲elandsvennen (Vest-Agder, Kristiansand) Firdaposten (Sogn og Fjordane, Floro) Fredriksstad Blad Fremover (Nordland, Narvik) Gudbrandsd?Dagningen (Oppland, Lillehammer) Hamar Arbeiderblad (Hedmark, Hamar) Hamar Dagblad (Hedmark, Hamar) Haugesunds Avis (Haugesund) Laagendalsposten (Kongsberg) Nettavisen (Oslo) (English) Nettavisen (Oslo) Nordlys (North Norway, Tromsoe) Norway Post, The (Oslo) (English) Oppland Arbeiderblad (Gjoevik) سtlands-Posten (Larvik) Porsgrunns Dagblad (Telemark) Ringerikes Blad (Akershus, Lillestr? Rogalands Avis (Rogaland, Stavanger) Romerikes Blad (Akershus, Lillestrom) Sandefjords Blad (Vestfold, Sandefjord) Sunnmorsp? (Alesund) Teknisk Ukeblad (Oslo) Telemarksavisa (Telemark, Skien) T?rgs Blad (Tonsberg) Tr?-Avisa (Nord Trondelag, Steinkjer) Verdens Gang (Oslo) POLAND Dziennik Polski (Maloposkie, Krakow) Gazeta Wyborcza (Warsaw) Rzeczpospolita (Warsaw) Tygodnik Powszechny Trybuna (Mazowieckie, Warsaw) Warsaw Voice, The (Warsaw) Zycie Warszawy (Warsaw) PORTUGAL A Bola (Lisboa, Lisbon) Canal de Neg󣩯s (Lisboa, Lisbon) Correio da Manhã (Lisboa, Lisbon) DiᲩo de Not?as (Funchal) DiᲩo Digital (Lisboa, Lisbon) DiᲩo EconóÂÂÂ*©£o (Lisboa, Lisbon) O Jogo Jornal de Noticias ( (Oporto) Po (Lisbon) Record (Lisbon) ROMANIA Adevarul Cotidianul (Bucuresti, Bucharest) Evenimentul Zilei Online Nine O'Clock (Bucuresti, Bucharest) (English) ZIUA (Bucuresti, Bucharest) RUSSIA Evening Kazan (Tatarstan, Kazan) Itar-Tass (Moscow) Izvestia (Moscow) Kazanskii Universitet (Moscow) Kommersant Daily (Moscow) Komsomolskaya Pravda (Moscow) The Moscow Times (Moscow) (English) Moskovskii Komsomolets (Moscow) Nezavisimaya Gazeta (Moscow) Novosti (Vladivostok) Pravda (Moscow) Russia Today St. Petersburg Times (St. Petersburg) Trud (Moscow) Vladivostok News (Vladivostok) SCOTLAND Courier On-Line, The (Dundee) Daily Record (Glasgow) Press and Journal, The(Aberdeen) Scotsman, The (Edinburgh) Sunday Mail (Glasgow) Sunday Post, The (Dundee) SLOVAKIA Praca (Zapadoslovenska, Bratislava) Pravda (Zapadoslovenska, Bratislava) Slovakia Daily Surveyor Slovak Spectator, The (Zapadoslovenska, Bratislava) SLOVENIA Delo (Ljubljana) Dnevnik (Ljubljana) SPAIN ABC (Madrid) AVUI (Catalonia, Barcelona; Premsa Catalana) Cinco Dias (Madrid) El Correo (Pais Vasco, Bilbao) El Correo Gallego (Galicia) Costa Blanca News (English) DEIA (Pais Vasco, Bilbao) El D?de Baleares (Baleares, Palma de Mallorca) Diario de Mallorca (Baleares, Palma de Mallorca) El Diario Montanes (Cantabria, Santander) El Diario Vasco (Pais Vasco, San Sebastian) La Estrella Digital Expansió® „irecto (Madrid) Faro de Vigo (Galicia, Vigo) Heraldo de Aragó® (Aragon, Zaragoza) Hoy Diario de Extremadura (Extremadura, Merida) Ideal (Andalucia, Granada) El Ideal Gallego (Galicia) Levante-El Mercantil Valenciano (Valencia) Marca (Madrid) El Mundo El Norte de Castilla (Castilla y Leon, Valladolid) El Pais (Madrid) El Periodico de Catalunya (Barcelona) El Progreso (Galicia, Lugo) Las Provincias (Valencia) Regió· (Catalonia, Manresa) La Rioja (La Rioja, Logrono) Sport La Vanguardia (Catalonia, Barcelona) SUR (English) SWEDEN Affä²³vä²Ã⠀šÃ‚¬den (Stockholm) Aftonbladet (Stockholm) Borå³ Tidning (Vastra Gotaland, Boras) Dagens Nyheter (Stockholm) Expressen (Stockholm) G?orgs-Posten (G?org) Hallands Nyheter Nerikes Allehande Hallandspostenr Norrbottens-Kuriren (Norrbotten, Lulea) Norrkopings Tidningar Ostersund Posten Ö³tg?Correnspondenten (Ostergotland, Linkoping) Svenska Dagbladet (Stockholm) Sydsvenska Dagbladet (Malm? Vä³´erbottens-Kuriren (Vasterbotten, Umea) Vestmanlands L䮳 Tidning (Vä³´manland) SWITZERLAND Basler Zeitung (Basel-Stadt, Basel) Berner Zeitung (Bern) Bote der Urschweiz (Central Switzerland) Der Bund (Bern) Corriere del Ticino (Ticino, Lugano) Der Landbote (Zurich, Winterthur) Freiburger Nachrichten (Freiburger) La Liberté ¼/a Le Matin (Vaud, Lausanne) Neue Zurcher Zeitung Schaffhauser Nachrichten St. Galler Tagblatt (St. Gallen) Die S?chweiz (Graubunden, Chur) Tages-Anzeiger (Zurich) Tribune de Geneve (Geneva) Webdo (Lausanne) WochenZeitung Zisch (Luzern, Central Switzerland) Zurcher Unterlander (Zurich, Dielsdorf) TURKEY Aksam (Istanbul) D? (Istanbul) Fanatik (Istanbul) G? (Istanbul) Hurriyet Gazetesi (Istanbul) Milli Gazete (Istanbul) Milliyet Gazetesi (Istanbul) Ozgur Politika (Istanbul) Radikal (Istanbul) Sabah (Istanbul) Star (Istanbul) T? Yeni Asya Yeni Mesaj Yeni Safak (Istanbul) Zaman UKRAINE The Day (Kiev) Facty i Kommentarii (Kiev) Postup (Lviv) Segodnya (Kiev) UNITED KINGDOM Bristol Evening Post (Bristol) Cambridge Evening News (Cambridge) Coventry Evening Telegraph (Coventry) Daily Record (Glasgow) The Daily Telegraph (London) Derbyshire Evening Telegraph (Derby) Evening Argus (Brighton) Evening Chronicle (Newcastle) Evening Standard (London) Evening Telegraph Evening Times (Glasgow) Express & Star (Wolverhampton) Financial Times (London) Financial Times (U.S. mirror site) (London) Go2 Birmingham (Grimsby) Grimsby Evening Telegraph (Birmingham) Guardian, The (London) The Herald (Glasgow) Huddersfield Daily Examiner (Huddersfield) Hull Daily Mail (Hull) Independent, The (London) Jersey Evening Post, The (Channel Islands) The Journal (Newcastle) Lancashire Evening Telegraph London Evening Standard (London) The Mirror (London) The News (Portsmouth) Norfolk Now (Norfolk) Northampton Chronicle & Echo (Northampton) The Nottingham Evening Post (Nottingham) Observer, The (London) Oldham Evening Chronicle, The Sentinel Online, The South Wales Argus (Newport) South Wales Evening Post South West News The Sun (London) Sunday Mall (Glasgow) Sunderland Echo (Sunderland) Telegraph, The (London) This is Local London (London) The Times and Sunday Times (London) The Sunday Times (London) West Sussex Observer (Chichester) Western Mail, The (Cardiff) Yorkshire Evening Post (Leeds) YUGOSLAVIA Blic Online (Begrade) Dnevnik (Vojvodina) Politika (Belgrade) Vecernje Novosti (Belgrade) Vijesti (Montenegro) |
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