Just Say . . .

'Twas at the annual cheese- rolling at the parish church in Randwick,
a few miles the other side of Stroud. Every young woman for miles
around would be there, although Mason adopted a more Scientifick
motive, that of wishing to see at first hand, a much- rumored Prodigy,
styled "The Octuple Gloucester,"-- a giant Cheese, the largest known
in the Region, perhaps in the Kingdom.

Some considered it an example of Reason run amok,-- an unreflective
Vicar, worshiping at the wrong Altar, having convinced local Cheesemen
to pool their efforts in accomplishing the feat. Scaled up from the
dimensions of the classic Single Gloucester, not only in Thickness,
but actually octupled in all dimensions, making it more like a 512-
fold or Quincentenariduodecimal Gloucester,-- running to nearly four
tons in weight when green, and even after shrinkage towering ten feet
high by the time it emerged from the giant Shed built at the outskirts
of town especially for this unprecedented Caseifaction,-- the
extraordinary Cheese, as it slowly aged, had already provided material
for months of public Rumor. In recent days, trying to contain their
impatience, crowds had begun to gather outside the shed entrance, as
if a royal birth were imminent.

When the Cheese was at last carefully rolled into publick View, those
who were there remember a collective gasp, a beat of silence, then,
"Well,-- I knew it was going to be _big_, but--" . . . "How ever are
they going to get it up to the Church?" . . . "Wonder what it tastes
like?"

Traditionally, the cheeses to be blessed and ritually rolled thrice
'round the churchyard, and thence down a Hill, ordinary- sized Double
Gloucesters, were carried to the site in wheeled litters of some
antiquity, though such clearly, for this Behemoth, would not do.
Someone finally located a gigantic Cotswold Waggon, painted brick red
and sky blue, as were the spokes and rims, respectively, of its
wheels. The Cheese, an equally vivid orange- yellow, had then to be
carefully rolled off a kind of dock and on into the bed of the Waggon,
where, like some dangerous large animal, it was secured with stout
Cables in an erect position. As the sides of the Waggon were of
spindles and not planks, the Cheese was visible to onlookers in its
full Circumference.

The progress to Randwick Church was a Spectacle long to be remembered.
Neighbor folk of all conditions lined the route, at first, as the
great Cheese swayed and loomed into view, silently in awe,-- then,
presently, as if strangely calmed by the Beams of a Luminary rising
anew above each dip in the road, calling out to the Cheese and its
conveyors, calls which after not too long became huzzahs and even
Hosannas. Drinkers tumbled out of the alehouses and toasted the
majestic food product as it passed-- "Let's have three cheers for the
Great Octuple, lads!" Girls blew Kisses. Local youths from time to
time would spring aboard, to help steady the cargo when the road-
surface became difficult, able to tell one day of how they had
escorted the great Cheese upon its journey, that famous first of May.

The Vicar had decided for reasons of safety to roll nothing greater
than a Double Gloucester down the Hill,-- yet as if ordain'd by some
invariance in the Day's Angular Momentum, the Drag- Shoe on one side
of the Octuple's Waggon broke away, causing the conveyance to slew,
and slip down the side of a Hummock, and at last tip over, launching
the Cheese into the Air, just before the Waggon (its Catapult) fell
over with a great creak and jangle, Wheels a- spin, as meanwhile the
enormous Cheese was hitting the Slope perfectly vertical,-- bouncing
once, startlingly orange against the green hillside, and beginning to
roll, gathering speed. The first peripheral impression Mason had of
it was of course a star- gazer's-- thinking, Why, the Moon isn't
suppos'd to be out, nor full, nor quite this bright shade of yellow,
nor for that matter to be growing in size this way,-- about then
smoaking belatedly where he was, and what was about to happen.

"Ahr! Mercy!" He threw his arms in front of his Face and succumb'd
before the cylindrickal Onslaught, with a peculiar Horror at having
been singl'd out for Misadventure . . . _The victim of a Cheese
malevolent_, being his last thought before toppling upon his face,
grass up his Nose, hearing thro' his Belly the homicidal Ponderosity
roll by without the interruption of a flatten'd Mason to divert it
from its Destiny.

Thomas Pynchon, _Mason & Dixon_





--


smeeter 11 or maybe 12

mp 10

mhm 29x13

Indeed, Children, this is the part of the Tale
where your old Uncle gets to go insane.

_Mason & Dixon_


-----= Posted via Newsfeeds.Com, Uncensored Usenet News =-----
http://www.newsfeeds.com - The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World!
-----== Over 100,000 Newsgroups - 19 Different Servers! =-----

On Tue, 16 Sep 2003 13:56:28 -0400, mimus ,
wrote:

'Twas at the annual cheese- rolling at the parish church in Randwick,
a few miles the other side of Stroud. Every young woman for miles
around would be there, although Mason adopted a more Scientifick
motive, that of wishing to see at first hand, a much- rumored Prodigy,
styled "The Octuple Gloucester,"-- a giant Cheese, the largest known
in the Region, perhaps in the Kingdom.

Some considered it an example of Reason run amok,-- an unreflective
Vicar, worshiping at the wrong Altar, having convinced local Cheesemen
to pool their efforts in accomplishing the feat. Scaled up from the
dimensions of the classic Single Gloucester, not only in Thickness,
but actually octupled in all dimensions, making it more like a 512-
fold or Quincentenariduodecimal Gloucester,-- running to nearly four
tons in weight when green, and even after shrinkage towering ten feet
high by the time it emerged from the giant Shed built at the outskirts
of town especially for this unprecedented Caseifaction,-- the
extraordinary Cheese, as it slowly aged, had already provided material
for months of public Rumor. In recent days, trying to contain their
impatience, crowds had begun to gather outside the shed entrance, as
if a royal birth were imminent.

When the Cheese was at last carefully rolled into publick View, those
who were there remember a collective gasp, a beat of silence, then,
"Well,-- I knew it was going to be _big_, but--" . . . "How ever are
they going to get it up to the Church?" . . . "Wonder what it tastes
like?"

Traditionally, the cheeses to be blessed and ritually rolled thrice
'round the churchyard, and thence down a Hill, ordinary- sized Double
Gloucesters, were carried to the site in wheeled litters of some
antiquity, though such clearly, for this Behemoth, would not do.
Someone finally located a gigantic Cotswold Waggon, painted brick red
and sky blue, as were the spokes and rims, respectively, of its
wheels. The Cheese, an equally vivid orange- yellow, had then to be
carefully rolled off a kind of dock and on into the bed of the Waggon,
where, like some dangerous large animal, it was secured with stout
Cables in an erect position. As the sides of the Waggon were of
spindles and not planks, the Cheese was visible to onlookers in its
full Circumference.

The progress to Randwick Church was a Spectacle long to be remembered.
Neighbor folk of all conditions lined the route, at first, as the
great Cheese swayed and loomed into view, silently in awe,-- then,
presently, as if strangely calmed by the Beams of a Luminary rising
anew above each dip in the road, calling out to the Cheese and its
conveyors, calls which after not too long became huzzahs and even
Hosannas. Drinkers tumbled out of the alehouses and toasted the
majestic food product as it passed-- "Let's have three cheers for the
Great Octuple, lads!" Girls blew Kisses. Local youths from time to
time would spring aboard, to help steady the cargo when the road-
surface became difficult, able to tell one day of how they had
escorted the great Cheese upon its journey, that famous first of May.

The Vicar had decided for reasons of safety to roll nothing greater
than a Double Gloucester down the Hill,-- yet as if ordain'd by some
invariance in the Day's Angular Momentum, the Drag- Shoe on one side
of the Octuple's Waggon broke away, causing the conveyance to slew,
and slip down the side of a Hummock, and at last tip over, launching
the Cheese into the Air, just before the Waggon (its Catapult) fell
over with a great creak and jangle, Wheels a- spin, as meanwhile the
enormous Cheese was hitting the Slope perfectly vertical,-- bouncing
once, startlingly orange against the green hillside, and beginning to
roll, gathering speed. The first peripheral impression Mason had of
it was of course a star- gazer's-- thinking, Why, the Moon isn't
suppos'd to be out, nor full, nor quite this bright shade of yellow,
nor for that matter to be growing in size this way,-- about then
smoaking belatedly where he was, and what was about to happen.

"Ahr! Mercy!" He threw his arms in front of his Face and succumb'd
before the cylindrickal Onslaught, with a peculiar Horror at having
been singl'd out for Misadventure . . . _The victim of a Cheese
malevolent_, being his last thought before toppling upon his face,
grass up his Nose, hearing thro' his Belly the homicidal Ponderosity
roll by without the interruption of a flatten'd Mason to divert it
from its Destiny.

Thomas Pynchon, _Mason & Dixon_

Also read a poem by James Tate called "The Wild Wheel of Cheese" If I
remember right. For something similar and equally amusing.

Cheese ya later!

Jade

On Tue, 16 Sep 2003 13:56:28 -0400, mimus ,
wrote:

'Twas at the annual cheese- rolling at the parish church in Randwick,
a few miles the other side of Stroud. Every young woman for miles
around would be there, although Mason adopted a more Scientifick
motive, that of wishing to see at first hand, a much- rumored Prodigy,
styled "The Octuple Gloucester,"-- a giant Cheese, the largest known
in the Region, perhaps in the Kingdom.

Some considered it an example of Reason run amok,-- an unreflective
Vicar, worshiping at the wrong Altar, having convinced local Cheesemen
to pool their efforts in accomplishing the feat. Scaled up from the
dimensions of the classic Single Gloucester, not only in Thickness,
but actually octupled in all dimensions, making it more like a 512-
fold or Quincentenariduodecimal Gloucester,-- running to nearly four
tons in weight when green, and even after shrinkage towering ten feet
high by the time it emerged from the giant Shed built at the outskirts
of town especially for this unprecedented Caseifaction,-- the
extraordinary Cheese, as it slowly aged, had already provided material
for months of public Rumor. In recent days, trying to contain their
impatience, crowds had begun to gather outside the shed entrance, as
if a royal birth were imminent.

When the Cheese was at last carefully rolled into publick View, those
who were there remember a collective gasp, a beat of silence, then,
"Well,-- I knew it was going to be _big_, but--" . . . "How ever are
they going to get it up to the Church?" . . . "Wonder what it tastes
like?"

Traditionally, the cheeses to be blessed and ritually rolled thrice
'round the churchyard, and thence down a Hill, ordinary- sized Double
Gloucesters, were carried to the site in wheeled litters of some
antiquity, though such clearly, for this Behemoth, would not do.
Someone finally located a gigantic Cotswold Waggon, painted brick red
and sky blue, as were the spokes and rims, respectively, of its
wheels. The Cheese, an equally vivid orange- yellow, had then to be
carefully rolled off a kind of dock and on into the bed of the Waggon,
where, like some dangerous large animal, it was secured with stout
Cables in an erect position. As the sides of the Waggon were of
spindles and not planks, the Cheese was visible to onlookers in its
full Circumference.

The progress to Randwick Church was a Spectacle long to be remembered.
Neighbor folk of all conditions lined the route, at first, as the
great Cheese swayed and loomed into view, silently in awe,-- then,
presently, as if strangely calmed by the Beams of a Luminary rising
anew above each dip in the road, calling out to the Cheese and its
conveyors, calls which after not too long became huzzahs and even
Hosannas. Drinkers tumbled out of the alehouses and toasted the
majestic food product as it passed-- "Let's have three cheers for the
Great Octuple, lads!" Girls blew Kisses. Local youths from time to
time would spring aboard, to help steady the cargo when the road-
surface became difficult, able to tell one day of how they had
escorted the great Cheese upon its journey, that famous first of May.

The Vicar had decided for reasons of safety to roll nothing greater
than a Double Gloucester down the Hill,-- yet as if ordain'd by some
invariance in the Day's Angular Momentum, the Drag- Shoe on one side
of the Octuple's Waggon broke away, causing the conveyance to slew,
and slip down the side of a Hummock, and at last tip over, launching
the Cheese into the Air, just before the Waggon (its Catapult) fell
over with a great creak and jangle, Wheels a- spin, as meanwhile the
enormous Cheese was hitting the Slope perfectly vertical,-- bouncing
once, startlingly orange against the green hillside, and beginning to
roll, gathering speed. The first peripheral impression Mason had of
it was of course a star- gazer's-- thinking, Why, the Moon isn't
suppos'd to be out, nor full, nor quite this bright shade of yellow,
nor for that matter to be growing in size this way,-- about then
smoaking belatedly where he was, and what was about to happen.

"Ahr! Mercy!" He threw his arms in front of his Face and succumb'd
before the cylindrickal Onslaught, with a peculiar Horror at having
been singl'd out for Misadventure . . . _The victim of a Cheese
malevolent_, being his last thought before toppling upon his face,
grass up his Nose, hearing thro' his Belly the homicidal Ponderosity
roll by without the interruption of a flatten'd Mason to divert it
from its Destiny.

Thomas Pynchon, _Mason & Dixon_

Also read a poem by James Tate called "The Wild Wheel of Cheese" If I
remember right. For something similar and equally amusing.

Cheese ya later!

Jade

On Wed, 17 Sep 2003 01:27:15 +0100, Peter J Ross
wrote:

On Tue, 16 Sep 2003 19:00:04 -0500, Starshine Moonbeam's
long-suffering mother turned her back for just a moment, and Starshine
Moonbeam did *this* to alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk:

In article ,
) dropped a +5 bundle of words...

'Twas at the annual cheese- rolling at the parish church in Randwick,
a few miles the other side of Stroud. Every young woman for miles
around would be there, although Mason adopted a more Scientifick
motive, that of wishing to see at first hand, a much- rumored Prodigy,
styled "The Octuple Gloucester,"-- a giant Cheese, the largest known
in the Region, perhaps in the Kingdom.

Some considered it an example of Reason run amok,-- an unreflective
Vicar, worshiping at the wrong Altar, having convinced local Cheesemen
to pool their efforts in accomplishing the feat. Scaled up from the
dimensions of the classic Single Gloucester, not only in Thickness,
but actually octupled in all dimensions, making it more like a 512-
fold or Quincentenariduodecimal Gloucester,-- running to nearly four
tons in weight when green, and even after shrinkage towering ten feet
high by the time it emerged from the giant Shed built at the outskirts
of town especially for this unprecedented Caseifaction,-- the
extraordinary Cheese, as it slowly aged, had already provided material
for months of public Rumor. In recent days, trying to contain their
impatience, crowds had begun to gather outside the shed entrance, as
if a royal birth were imminent.

When the Cheese was at last carefully rolled into publick View, those
who were there remember a collective gasp, a beat of silence, then,
"Well,-- I knew it was going to be _big_, but--" . . . "How ever are
they going to get it up to the Church?" . . . "Wonder what it tastes
like?"

Traditionally, the cheeses to be blessed and ritually rolled thrice
'round the churchyard, and thence down a Hill, ordinary- sized Double
Gloucesters, were carried to the site in wheeled litters of some
antiquity, though such clearly, for this Behemoth, would not do.
Someone finally located a gigantic Cotswold Waggon, painted brick red
and sky blue, as were the spokes and rims, respectively, of its
wheels. The Cheese, an equally vivid orange- yellow, had then to be
carefully rolled off a kind of dock and on into the bed of the Waggon,
where, like some dangerous large animal, it was secured with stout
Cables in an erect position. As the sides of the Waggon were of
spindles and not planks, the Cheese was visible to onlookers in its
full Circumference.

The progress to Randwick Church was a Spectacle long to be remembered.
Neighbor folk of all conditions lined the route, at first, as the
great Cheese swayed and loomed into view, silently in awe,-- then,
presently, as if strangely calmed by the Beams of a Luminary rising
anew above each dip in the road, calling out to the Cheese and its
conveyors, calls which after not too long became huzzahs and even
Hosannas. Drinkers tumbled out of the alehouses and toasted the
majestic food product as it passed-- "Let's have three cheers for the
Great Octuple, lads!" Girls blew Kisses. Local youths from time to
time would spring aboard, to help steady the cargo when the road-
surface became difficult, able to tell one day of how they had
escorted the great Cheese upon its journey, that famous first of May.

The Vicar had decided for reasons of safety to roll nothing greater
than a Double Gloucester down the Hill,-- yet as if ordain'd by some
invariance in the Day's Angular Momentum, the Drag- Shoe on one side
of the Octuple's Waggon broke away, causing the conveyance to slew,
and slip down the side of a Hummock, and at last tip over, launching
the Cheese into the Air, just before the Waggon (its Catapult) fell
over with a great creak and jangle, Wheels a- spin, as meanwhile the
enormous Cheese was hitting the Slope perfectly vertical,-- bouncing
once, startlingly orange against the green hillside, and beginning to
roll, gathering speed. The first peripheral impression Mason had of
it was of course a star- gazer's-- thinking, Why, the Moon isn't
suppos'd to be out, nor full, nor quite this bright shade of yellow,
nor for that matter to be growing in size this way,-- about then
smoaking belatedly where he was, and what was about to happen.

"Ahr! Mercy!" He threw his arms in front of his Face and succumb'd
before the cylindrickal Onslaught, with a peculiar Horror at having
been singl'd out for Misadventure . . . _The victim of a Cheese
malevolent_, being his last thought before toppling upon his face,
grass up his Nose, hearing thro' his Belly the homicidal Ponderosity
roll by without the interruption of a flatten'd Mason to divert it
from its Destiny.

Thomas Pynchon, _Mason & Dixon_

This was just cheesy. GET IT? CHEESY? GET IT?

*slinks off*

Blessad are the cheesemakers. *Cheese*makers, see? Like *peace*makers
but different. LOL?

*puts gun in mouth*

Turning a little Swiss on us?

--


smeeter 11 or maybe 12

mp 10

mhm 29x13

Indeed, Children, this is the part of the Tale
where your old Uncle gets to go insane.

_Mason & Dixon_


-----= Posted via Newsfeeds.Com, Uncensored Usenet News =-----
http://www.newsfeeds.com - The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World!
-----== Over 100,000 Newsgroups - 19 Different Servers! =-----

On Wed, 17 Sep 2003 01:27:15 +0100, Peter J Ross
wrote:

On Tue, 16 Sep 2003 19:00:04 -0500, Starshine Moonbeam's
long-suffering mother turned her back for just a moment, and Starshine
Moonbeam did *this* to alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk:

In article ,
) dropped a +5 bundle of words...

'Twas at the annual cheese- rolling at the parish church in Randwick,
a few miles the other side of Stroud. Every young woman for miles
around would be there, although Mason adopted a more Scientifick
motive, that of wishing to see at first hand, a much- rumored Prodigy,
styled "The Octuple Gloucester,"-- a giant Cheese, the largest known
in the Region, perhaps in the Kingdom.

Some considered it an example of Reason run amok,-- an unreflective
Vicar, worshiping at the wrong Altar, having convinced local Cheesemen
to pool their efforts in accomplishing the feat. Scaled up from the
dimensions of the classic Single Gloucester, not only in Thickness,
but actually octupled in all dimensions, making it more like a 512-
fold or Quincentenariduodecimal Gloucester,-- running to nearly four
tons in weight when green, and even after shrinkage towering ten feet
high by the time it emerged from the giant Shed built at the outskirts
of town especially for this unprecedented Caseifaction,-- the
extraordinary Cheese, as it slowly aged, had already provided material
for months of public Rumor. In recent days, trying to contain their
impatience, crowds had begun to gather outside the shed entrance, as
if a royal birth were imminent.

When the Cheese was at last carefully rolled into publick View, those
who were there remember a collective gasp, a beat of silence, then,
"Well,-- I knew it was going to be _big_, but--" . . . "How ever are
they going to get it up to the Church?" . . . "Wonder what it tastes
like?"

Traditionally, the cheeses to be blessed and ritually rolled thrice
'round the churchyard, and thence down a Hill, ordinary- sized Double
Gloucesters, were carried to the site in wheeled litters of some
antiquity, though such clearly, for this Behemoth, would not do.
Someone finally located a gigantic Cotswold Waggon, painted brick red
and sky blue, as were the spokes and rims, respectively, of its
wheels. The Cheese, an equally vivid orange- yellow, had then to be
carefully rolled off a kind of dock and on into the bed of the Waggon,
where, like some dangerous large animal, it was secured with stout
Cables in an erect position. As the sides of the Waggon were of
spindles and not planks, the Cheese was visible to onlookers in its
full Circumference.

The progress to Randwick Church was a Spectacle long to be remembered.
Neighbor folk of all conditions lined the route, at first, as the
great Cheese swayed and loomed into view, silently in awe,-- then,
presently, as if strangely calmed by the Beams of a Luminary rising
anew above each dip in the road, calling out to the Cheese and its
conveyors, calls which after not too long became huzzahs and even
Hosannas. Drinkers tumbled out of the alehouses and toasted the
majestic food product as it passed-- "Let's have three cheers for the
Great Octuple, lads!" Girls blew Kisses. Local youths from time to
time would spring aboard, to help steady the cargo when the road-
surface became difficult, able to tell one day of how they had
escorted the great Cheese upon its journey, that famous first of May.

The Vicar had decided for reasons of safety to roll nothing greater
than a Double Gloucester down the Hill,-- yet as if ordain'd by some
invariance in the Day's Angular Momentum, the Drag- Shoe on one side
of the Octuple's Waggon broke away, causing the conveyance to slew,
and slip down the side of a Hummock, and at last tip over, launching
the Cheese into the Air, just before the Waggon (its Catapult) fell
over with a great creak and jangle, Wheels a- spin, as meanwhile the
enormous Cheese was hitting the Slope perfectly vertical,-- bouncing
once, startlingly orange against the green hillside, and beginning to
roll, gathering speed. The first peripheral impression Mason had of
it was of course a star- gazer's-- thinking, Why, the Moon isn't
suppos'd to be out, nor full, nor quite this bright shade of yellow,
nor for that matter to be growing in size this way,-- about then
smoaking belatedly where he was, and what was about to happen.

"Ahr! Mercy!" He threw his arms in front of his Face and succumb'd
before the cylindrickal Onslaught, with a peculiar Horror at having
been singl'd out for Misadventure . . . _The victim of a Cheese
malevolent_, being his last thought before toppling upon his face,
grass up his Nose, hearing thro' his Belly the homicidal Ponderosity
roll by without the interruption of a flatten'd Mason to divert it
from its Destiny.

Thomas Pynchon, _Mason & Dixon_

This was just cheesy. GET IT? CHEESY? GET IT?

*slinks off*

Blessad are the cheesemakers. *Cheese*makers, see? Like *peace*makers
but different. LOL?

*puts gun in mouth*

Turning a little Swiss on us?

--


smeeter 11 or maybe 12

mp 10

mhm 29x13

Indeed, Children, this is the part of the Tale
where your old Uncle gets to go insane.

_Mason & Dixon_


-----= Posted via Newsfeeds.Com, Uncensored Usenet News =-----
http://www.newsfeeds.com - The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World!
-----== Over 100,000 Newsgroups - 19 Different Servers! =-----

On Wed, 17 Sep 2003 05:30:40 +0100, Peter J Ross
wrote:

On Wed, 17 Sep 2003 00:04:26 -0400, mimus's long-suffering mother
turned her back for just a moment, and mimus did *this* to
alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk:

On Wed, 17 Sep 2003 01:27:15 +0100, Peter J Ross
wrote:

On Tue, 16 Sep 2003 19:00:04 -0500, Starshine Moonbeam's
long-suffering mother turned her back for just a moment, and Starshine
Moonbeam did *this* to alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk:

In article ,
) dropped a +5 bundle of words...

'Twas at the annual cheese- rolling at the parish church in Randwick,
a few miles the other side of Stroud. Every young woman for miles
around would be there, although Mason adopted a more Scientifick
motive, that of wishing to see at first hand, a much- rumored Prodigy,
styled "The Octuple Gloucester,"-- a giant Cheese, the largest known
in the Region, perhaps in the Kingdom.

Some considered it an example of Reason run amok,-- an unreflective
Vicar, worshiping at the wrong Altar, having convinced local Cheesemen
to pool their efforts in accomplishing the feat. Scaled up from the
dimensions of the classic Single Gloucester, not only in Thickness,
but actually octupled in all dimensions, making it more like a 512-
fold or Quincentenariduodecimal Gloucester,-- running to nearly four
tons in weight when green, and even after shrinkage towering ten feet
high by the time it emerged from the giant Shed built at the outskirts
of town especially for this unprecedented Caseifaction,-- the
extraordinary Cheese, as it slowly aged, had already provided material
for months of public Rumor. In recent days, trying to contain their
impatience, crowds had begun to gather outside the shed entrance, as
if a royal birth were imminent.

When the Cheese was at last carefully rolled into publick View, those
who were there remember a collective gasp, a beat of silence, then,
"Well,-- I knew it was going to be _big_, but--" . . . "How ever are
they going to get it up to the Church?" . . . "Wonder what it tastes
like?"

Traditionally, the cheeses to be blessed and ritually rolled thrice
'round the churchyard, and thence down a Hill, ordinary- sized Double
Gloucesters, were carried to the site in wheeled litters of some
antiquity, though such clearly, for this Behemoth, would not do.
Someone finally located a gigantic Cotswold Waggon, painted brick red
and sky blue, as were the spokes and rims, respectively, of its
wheels. The Cheese, an equally vivid orange- yellow, had then to be
carefully rolled off a kind of dock and on into the bed of the Waggon,
where, like some dangerous large animal, it was secured with stout
Cables in an erect position. As the sides of the Waggon were of
spindles and not planks, the Cheese was visible to onlookers in its
full Circumference.

The progress to Randwick Church was a Spectacle long to be remembered.
Neighbor folk of all conditions lined the route, at first, as the
great Cheese swayed and loomed into view, silently in awe,-- then,
presently, as if strangely calmed by the Beams of a Luminary rising
anew above each dip in the road, calling out to the Cheese and its
conveyors, calls which after not too long became huzzahs and even
Hosannas. Drinkers tumbled out of the alehouses and toasted the
majestic food product as it passed-- "Let's have three cheers for the
Great Octuple, lads!" Girls blew Kisses. Local youths from time to
time would spring aboard, to help steady the cargo when the road-
surface became difficult, able to tell one day of how they had
escorted the great Cheese upon its journey, that famous first of May.

The Vicar had decided for reasons of safety to roll nothing greater
than a Double Gloucester down the Hill,-- yet as if ordain'd by some
invariance in the Day's Angular Momentum, the Drag- Shoe on one side
of the Octuple's Waggon broke away, causing the conveyance to slew,
and slip down the side of a Hummock, and at last tip over, launching
the Cheese into the Air, just before the Waggon (its Catapult) fell
over with a great creak and jangle, Wheels a- spin, as meanwhile the
enormous Cheese was hitting the Slope perfectly vertical,-- bouncing
once, startlingly orange against the green hillside, and beginning to
roll, gathering speed. The first peripheral impression Mason had of
it was of course a star- gazer's-- thinking, Why, the Moon isn't
suppos'd to be out, nor full, nor quite this bright shade of yellow,
nor for that matter to be growing in size this way,-- about then
smoaking belatedly where he was, and what was about to happen.

"Ahr! Mercy!" He threw his arms in front of his Face and succumb'd
before the cylindrickal Onslaught, with a peculiar Horror at having
been singl'd out for Misadventure . . . _The victim of a Cheese
malevolent_, being his last thought before toppling upon his face,
grass up his Nose, hearing thro' his Belly the homicidal Ponderosity
roll by without the interruption of a flatten'd Mason to divert it
from its Destiny.

Thomas Pynchon, _Mason & Dixon_

This was just cheesy. GET IT? CHEESY? GET IT?

*slinks off*

Blessad are the cheesemakers. *Cheese*makers, see? Like *peace*makers
but different. LOL?

*puts gun in mouth*

Turning a little Swiss on us?

Watch it, or I'll turn the little Swiss who invented the cuckoo-clock
on you.

Who wazzit? Euler?

--


smeeter 11 or maybe 12

mp 10

mhm 29x13

Indeed, Children, this is the part of the Tale
where your old Uncle gets to go insane.

_Mason & Dixon_


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On Wed, 17 Sep 2003 05:30:40 +0100, Peter J Ross
wrote:

On Wed, 17 Sep 2003 00:04:26 -0400, mimus's long-suffering mother
turned her back for just a moment, and mimus did *this* to
alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk:

On Wed, 17 Sep 2003 01:27:15 +0100, Peter J Ross
wrote:

On Tue, 16 Sep 2003 19:00:04 -0500, Starshine Moonbeam's
long-suffering mother turned her back for just a moment, and Starshine
Moonbeam did *this* to alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk:

In article ,
) dropped a +5 bundle of words...

'Twas at the annual cheese- rolling at the parish church in Randwick,
a few miles the other side of Stroud. Every young woman for miles
around would be there, although Mason adopted a more Scientifick
motive, that of wishing to see at first hand, a much- rumored Prodigy,
styled "The Octuple Gloucester,"-- a giant Cheese, the largest known
in the Region, perhaps in the Kingdom.

Some considered it an example of Reason run amok,-- an unreflective
Vicar, worshiping at the wrong Altar, having convinced local Cheesemen
to pool their efforts in accomplishing the feat. Scaled up from the
dimensions of the classic Single Gloucester, not only in Thickness,
but actually octupled in all dimensions, making it more like a 512-
fold or Quincentenariduodecimal Gloucester,-- running to nearly four
tons in weight when green, and even after shrinkage towering ten feet
high by the time it emerged from the giant Shed built at the outskirts
of town especially for this unprecedented Caseifaction,-- the
extraordinary Cheese, as it slowly aged, had already provided material
for months of public Rumor. In recent days, trying to contain their
impatience, crowds had begun to gather outside the shed entrance, as
if a royal birth were imminent.

When the Cheese was at last carefully rolled into publick View, those
who were there remember a collective gasp, a beat of silence, then,
"Well,-- I knew it was going to be _big_, but--" . . . "How ever are
they going to get it up to the Church?" . . . "Wonder what it tastes
like?"

Traditionally, the cheeses to be blessed and ritually rolled thrice
'round the churchyard, and thence down a Hill, ordinary- sized Double
Gloucesters, were carried to the site in wheeled litters of some
antiquity, though such clearly, for this Behemoth, would not do.
Someone finally located a gigantic Cotswold Waggon, painted brick red
and sky blue, as were the spokes and rims, respectively, of its
wheels. The Cheese, an equally vivid orange- yellow, had then to be
carefully rolled off a kind of dock and on into the bed of the Waggon,
where, like some dangerous large animal, it was secured with stout
Cables in an erect position. As the sides of the Waggon were of
spindles and not planks, the Cheese was visible to onlookers in its
full Circumference.

The progress to Randwick Church was a Spectacle long to be remembered.
Neighbor folk of all conditions lined the route, at first, as the
great Cheese swayed and loomed into view, silently in awe,-- then,
presently, as if strangely calmed by the Beams of a Luminary rising
anew above each dip in the road, calling out to the Cheese and its
conveyors, calls which after not too long became huzzahs and even
Hosannas. Drinkers tumbled out of the alehouses and toasted the
majestic food product as it passed-- "Let's have three cheers for the
Great Octuple, lads!" Girls blew Kisses. Local youths from time to
time would spring aboard, to help steady the cargo when the road-
surface became difficult, able to tell one day of how they had
escorted the great Cheese upon its journey, that famous first of May.

The Vicar had decided for reasons of safety to roll nothing greater
than a Double Gloucester down the Hill,-- yet as if ordain'd by some
invariance in the Day's Angular Momentum, the Drag- Shoe on one side
of the Octuple's Waggon broke away, causing the conveyance to slew,
and slip down the side of a Hummock, and at last tip over, launching
the Cheese into the Air, just before the Waggon (its Catapult) fell
over with a great creak and jangle, Wheels a- spin, as meanwhile the
enormous Cheese was hitting the Slope perfectly vertical,-- bouncing
once, startlingly orange against the green hillside, and beginning to
roll, gathering speed. The first peripheral impression Mason had of
it was of course a star- gazer's-- thinking, Why, the Moon isn't
suppos'd to be out, nor full, nor quite this bright shade of yellow,
nor for that matter to be growing in size this way,-- about then
smoaking belatedly where he was, and what was about to happen.

"Ahr! Mercy!" He threw his arms in front of his Face and succumb'd
before the cylindrickal Onslaught, with a peculiar Horror at having
been singl'd out for Misadventure . . . _The victim of a Cheese
malevolent_, being his last thought before toppling upon his face,
grass up his Nose, hearing thro' his Belly the homicidal Ponderosity
roll by without the interruption of a flatten'd Mason to divert it
from its Destiny.

Thomas Pynchon, _Mason & Dixon_

This was just cheesy. GET IT? CHEESY? GET IT?

*slinks off*

Blessad are the cheesemakers. *Cheese*makers, see? Like *peace*makers
but different. LOL?

*puts gun in mouth*

Turning a little Swiss on us?

Watch it, or I'll turn the little Swiss who invented the cuckoo-clock
on you.

Who wazzit? Euler?

--


smeeter 11 or maybe 12

mp 10

mhm 29x13

Indeed, Children, this is the part of the Tale
where your old Uncle gets to go insane.

_Mason & Dixon_


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