Scientists Warn Large Earth Collider May Destroy Earth

source: http://www.theonion.com/content/news...rn_large_earth

BATAVIA, IL—In October, Fermilab scientists joined a growing number of
physicists around the world in warning that the Very Large Earth
Collider—a $117 billion electromagnetic particle accelerator built to
study astronomical phenomena by colliding Earth into various heavenly
bodies—could potentially destroy Earth when it sends the planet
careening headlong into Mars, Jupiter, or even the sun.

Enlarge Image
"The Large Earth Collider will surely gain us priceless scientific
insight by offering a brief glimpse of the universe at the moment of
its destruction," Fermilab director Gordon Josephs said. "But because
the Collider achieves this by hurtling Earth into another large
celestial object, there are some who feel the risks associated with
annihilating our world are too high. All I know for certain is that
this rigorous debate will only end when we activate the VLEC, make the
Earth collide with another planet, and obtain results through
firsthand observation."

"That's just good science," Josephs added.

Physicists at CERN and Brookhaven National Laboratory, who underwrote
the VLEC's construction with donations from the Bill and Melinda Gates
Foundation, agree that there are "some troubling variables" whenever
attempting to launch Earth through the vacuum of space into a massive
body of solid matter. Yet, they insist, the academic benefits of a
planetary collision outweigh any risk of annihilating the Earth.

"When we boil the oceans, tear the tectonic plates from the globe, and
peel back the layers of the Earth to expose its molten core, we'll be
seeing firsthand what end-times researchers have only theorized
about," said Greg Giddings, a planetologist at the University of
Michigan. "It might be worth the chance—which, if you ask me, is very
small—of destroying the Earth in the process just to see that."

"There will always be Chicken Little types," theoretical physicist and
futurist Michio Kaku said. "When the first nuclear reaction was
achieved, there were those who said its very existence made it a
weapon of unspeakable power, and there is evidence they may have been
right. It's probably worth asking if the Very Large Earth Collider may
in fact pose some minute danger to the Earth."

While the project remains controversial, physicists agreed in late
November to reconvene and evaluate the risk factor of the project
after a small-scale field test, during which the Very Large Earth
Collider will be turned on at 10 percent capacity, catapulting Earth
into the moon at only half the speed of light.

On Dec 16, 1:36 pm, wrote:
source:http://www.theonion.com/content/news...rn_large_earth

BATAVIA, IL—In October, Fermilab scientists joined a growing number of
physicists around the world in warning that the Very Large Earth
Collider—a $117 billion electromagnetic particle accelerator built to
study astronomical phenomena by colliding Earth into various heavenly
bodies—could potentially destroy Earth when it sends the planet
careening headlong into Mars, Jupiter, or even the sun.

Enlarge Image
"The Large Earth Collider will surely gain us priceless scientific
insight by offering a brief glimpse of the universe at the moment of
its destruction," Fermilab director Gordon Josephs said. "But because
the Collider achieves this by hurtling Earth into another large
celestial object, there are some who feel the risks associated with
annihilating our world are too high. All I know for certain is that
this rigorous debate will only end when we activate the VLEC, make the
Earth collide with another planet, and obtain results through
firsthand observation."

"That's just good science," Josephs added.

Physicists at CERN and Brookhaven National Laboratory, who underwrote
the VLEC's construction with donations from the Bill and Melinda Gates
Foundation, agree that there are "some troubling variables" whenever
attempting to launch Earth through the vacuum of space into a massive
body of solid matter. Yet, they insist, the academic benefits of a
planetary collision outweigh any risk of annihilating the Earth.

"When we boil the oceans, tear the tectonic plates from the globe, and
peel back the layers of the Earth to expose its molten core, we'll be
seeing firsthand what end-times researchers have only theorized
about," said Greg Giddings, a planetologist at the University of
Michigan. "It might be worth the chance—which, if you ask me, is very
small—of destroying the Earth in the process just to see that."

"There will always be Chicken Little types," theoretical physicist and
futurist Michio Kaku said. "When the first nuclear reaction was
achieved, there were those who said its very existence made it a
weapon of unspeakable power, and there is evidence they may have been
right. It's probably worth asking if the Very Large Earth Collider may
in fact pose some minute danger to the Earth."

While the project remains controversial, physicists agreed in late
November to reconvene and evaluate the risk factor of the project
after a small-scale field test, during which the Very Large Earth
Collider will be turned on at 10 percent capacity, catapulting Earth
into the moon at only half the speed of light.

I thought the VLAC was Dick Cheney, as fueled along by the Zionist
Nazi fusion of arrogance, greed and stupidity from our resident LLPOF
warlord(GW Bush).

How could anything possibly get any worse?

~ BG

On Dec 16, 1:36 pm, wrote:
source:http://www.theonion.com/content/news...rn_large_earth

BATAVIA, IL—In October, Fermilab scientists joined a growing number of
physicists around the world in warning that the Very Large Earth
Collider—a $117 billion electromagnetic particle accelerator built to
study astronomical phenomena by colliding Earth into various heavenly
bodies—could potentially destroy Earth when it sends the planet
careening headlong into Mars, Jupiter, or even the sun.

Enlarge Image
"The Large Earth Collider will surely gain us priceless scientific
insight by offering a brief glimpse of the universe at the moment of
its destruction," Fermilab director Gordon Josephs said. "But because
the Collider achieves this by hurtling Earth into another large
celestial object, there are some who feel the risks associated with
annihilating our world are too high. All I know for certain is that
this rigorous debate will only end when we activate the VLEC, make the
Earth collide with another planet, and obtain results through
firsthand observation."

"That's just good science," Josephs added.

Physicists at CERN and Brookhaven National Laboratory, who underwrote
the VLEC's construction with donations from the Bill and Melinda Gates
Foundation, agree that there are "some troubling variables" whenever
attempting to launch Earth through the vacuum of space into a massive
body of solid matter. Yet, they insist, the academic benefits of a
planetary collision outweigh any risk of annihilating the Earth.

"When we boil the oceans, tear the tectonic plates from the globe, and
peel back the layers of the Earth to expose its molten core, we'll be
seeing firsthand what end-times researchers have only theorized
about," said Greg Giddings, a planetologist at the University of
Michigan. "It might be worth the chance—which, if you ask me, is very
small—of destroying the Earth in the process just to see that."

"There will always be Chicken Little types," theoretical physicist and
futurist Michio Kaku said. "When the first nuclear reaction was
achieved, there were those who said its very existence made it a
weapon of unspeakable power, and there is evidence they may have been
right. It's probably worth asking if the Very Large Earth Collider may
in fact pose some minute danger to the Earth."

While the project remains controversial, physicists agreed in late
November to reconvene and evaluate the risk factor of the project
after a small-scale field test, during which the Very Large Earth
Collider will be turned on at 10 percent capacity, catapulting Earth
into the moon at only half the speed of light.

I thought the VLEC was Dick Cheney, as fueled along by the Zionist/
Nazi fusion of superior arrogance, greed and stupidity from our
resident LLPOFwarlord(GW Bush).

How could anything possibly get any worse?

~ BG