I Will Become a TV Evangelist (Was: "Sam Wormley is Wrong...")

I wrote, inter alia:

How wrong can you be? The Administration doesn't need "science advice;"
everything it needs to know is in the Holy Bible.

The Hubble is an Instrument of Evil...

...Deep Field images depict objects that God made 6,000 years ago...

Pi=3, as correctly revealed in 1 Kings 7:23.

...science is a tool of liberal Jesus haters.

And this, which, if you skipped it, includes a link to a hilarious web
site:

Let your wife be warned: If you are fighting with another man, God does
not want her to help you. Deuteronomy 25: 11-12
http://www.thebricktestament.com//the_law/brawling/dt25_11a.html

And people took my post seriously! Except Gareth Slee, who caught on
immediately. As I said to Gareth, I don't know how those who took me
seriously deal with the spoken language, which contains no graphic
smileys. I expected derision and flames from the right and laughter and
nods from my fellow Humanist leftists, but I never expected to be taken
seriously!

Anyway, I have recovered from the great surprise that I experienced
when people began making serious replies to my post, and I have
experienced a revelation. If I can write such outrageous stuff and have
people -- science-oriented skeptics all -- think that I am serious and
that such outrageous writing merits a response, then I can make my
fortune as a TV evangelist. I figure that the general public is much
less skeptical than the average amateur astronomer, and I can polish my
presentation a bit (after all, I wrote it off the cuff) and wow the
masses and pass the collection plate. The collection plate will be
round, and its circumference will be 3 times its diameter.

Davoud

--
usenet *at* davidillig dawt com

Anyway, I have recovered from the great surprise that I experienced
when people began making serious replies to my post, and I have
experienced a revelation. If I can write such outrageous stuff and have
people -- science-oriented skeptics all -- think that I am serious and
that such outrageous writing merits a response, then I can make my
fortune as a TV evangelist.


No, that just makes you a usenet troll.

-Florian

"Davoud" wrote in message
...
I wrote, inter alia:

How wrong can you be? The Administration doesn't need "science advice;"
everything it needs to know is in the Holy Bible.

The Hubble is an Instrument of Evil...

...Deep Field images depict objects that God made 6,000 years ago...

Pi=3, as correctly revealed in 1 Kings 7:23.

...science is a tool of liberal Jesus haters.

And this, which, if you skipped it, includes a link to a hilarious web
site:

Let your wife be warned: If you are fighting with another man, God does
not want her to help you. Deuteronomy 25: 11-12
http://www.thebricktestament.com//the_law/brawling/dt25_11a.html

And people took my post seriously! Except Gareth Slee, who caught on
immediately. As I said to Gareth, I don't know how those who took me
seriously deal with the spoken language, which contains no graphic
smileys. I expected derision and flames from the right and laughter and
nods from my fellow Humanist leftists, but I never expected to be taken
seriously!

Anyway, I have recovered from the great surprise that I experienced
when people began making serious replies to my post, and I have
experienced a revelation. If I can write such outrageous stuff and have
people -- science-oriented skeptics all -- think that I am serious and
that such outrageous writing merits a response, then I can make my
fortune as a TV evangelist. I figure that the general public is much
less skeptical than the average amateur astronomer, and I can polish my
presentation a bit (after all, I wrote it off the cuff) and wow the
masses and pass the collection plate. The collection plate will be
round, and its circumference will be 3 times its diameter.

Davoud

--
usenet *at* davidillig dawt com

I liked it.
Many years ago I too tried a little satire. I wish I had kept the responses.
They ranged from complete support for the ratbag views I presented to
frothing-at-the-mouth, profane threats on my person.
My favourite was the one who gently, condescendingly, explained as to a
backward child, that I might be misunderstood because I neglected to use an
appropriate smilie.
Best wishes in your new career.

Davoud wrote:
And people took my post seriously! Except Gareth Slee, who caught on
immediately. As I said to Gareth, I don't know how those who took me
seriously deal with the spoken language, which contains no graphic
smileys.

I certainly hope you, as a linguist, are not seriously ignorant of why
spoken language needs no smileys.

Oh yeah: :-o

Brian Tung
The Astronomy Corner at http://astro.isi.edu/
Unofficial C5+ Home Page at http://astro.isi.edu/c5plus/
The PleiadAtlas Home Page at http://astro.isi.edu/pleiadatlas/
My Own Personal FAQ (SAA) at http://astro.isi.edu/reference/faq.txt

Davoud:
And people took my post seriously! Except Gareth Slee, who caught on
immediately. As I said to Gareth, I don't know how those who took me
seriously deal with the spoken language, which contains no graphic
smileys.

Brian Tung:
I certainly hope you, as a linguist, are not seriously ignorant of why
spoken language needs no smileys.

Indeed I am not. I am more and more confronted by people who interpet
little or nothing, however, but seem to take everything they hear or
read quite literally. Subtleties don't work with these people, irony is
lost on them, they don't recognize figures of speech, and even the
absurd (like my post) is taken at face value. The ten centuries or so
that have gone into enriching our language are wasted on some people.
And all people, including you and me, only know what they know; if they
don't get it, they don't get it. Ya gotta despair sometimes.

Then there is the issue of being thin-skinned; in spite of my awareness
of this sin, I admit to committing it myself from time to time. Some
folks aren't aware of it, however, and make no attempt to roll with the
punches. Push a sensitive button and they go into orbit. I'm _usually_
a bit more tolerant and down-to-earth than that.

my satirizing the Old Testament in my silly post, here's a bit of
double irony: one of my languages is Modern Hebrew. That doesn't
qualify me as an Old Testament scholar by a long shot, but with help
from native speakers and dictionaries I muddle my way through bits and
pieces of the OT in Hebrew on occasion. I also read the OT in English,
of course, with the Authorized Version my sentimental favorite for the
unparalleled richness of its English, and the "Jerusalem Bible,"
produced by the École Biblique et Archéologique Française de Jérusalem,
for its modern clarity. http://www.op.org/op/ebaf/index-eng.htm I
consider the OT to be the greatest piece of literature ever produced --
a source of wonderful myth, fascinating history, and profound wisdom.

Regards,

Davoud
(Irony within irony within irony: One of my favorite versions of the
OT opens with a vow to protect King James from "Popish persons;" the
other is the product of those very "Popish persons," the Dominicans of
the École Biblique!)

--
usenet *at* davidillig dawt com

On Sat, 29 Jan 2005 22:55:15 -0500, Davoud wrote:

Then there is the issue of being thin-skinned; in spite of my awareness
of this sin, I admit to committing it myself from time to time. Some
folks aren't aware of it, however, and make no attempt to roll with the
punches. Push a sensitive button and they go into orbit. I'm _usually_
a bit more tolerant and down-to-earth than that.

test
Macs suck.
/test

_________________________________________________

Chris L Peterson
Cloudbait Observatory
http://www.cloudbait.com

Davoud:
Then there is the issue of being thin-skinned; in spite of my awareness
of this sin, I admit to committing it myself from time to time. Some
folks aren't aware of it, however, and make no attempt to roll with the
punches. Push a sensitive button and they go into orbit. I'm _usually_
a bit more tolerant and down-to-earth than that.

Chris L Peterson:
test
Macs suck.
/test

*****

I agree with everything that you have said (or written) in your entire
life to date, and with everything that you will ever say (or write) for
the rest of your life, may it be a long and healthy and happy one.

Furthermore, if you look at the Ed Madjen query of earlier today, in
which he asked "Anyone use a laptop in their observatory or outside? Do
you have any problems doing this? *Which laptop computer would you
recommend... Are there good alternatives?", and to which you and a few
other responded most helpfully, you will note that I didn't respond at
all, in spite of the fact that none of the respondents gave the right
answer to the "good alternatives" part. So, have I passed the test?

Davoud

--
usenet *at* davidillig dawt com

On Sun, 30 Jan 2005 00:23:45 -0500, Davoud wrote:

I agree with everything that you have said (or written) in your entire
life to date, and with everything that you will ever say (or write) for
the rest of your life, may it be a long and healthy and happy one.

Furthermore, if you look at the Ed Madjen query of earlier today, in
which he asked "Anyone use a laptop in their observatory or outside? Do
you have any problems doing this? *Which laptop computer would you
recommend... Are there good alternatives?", and to which you and a few
other responded most helpfully, you will note that I didn't respond at
all, in spite of the fact that none of the respondents gave the right
answer to the "good alternatives" part. So, have I passed the test?

Very good! But I hope you aren't bottling up your true feelings. I
gather that in your former profession you may have picked up some skills
that would be most unfortunate in an unstable individual g.

_________________________________________________

Chris L Peterson
Cloudbait Observatory
http://www.cloudbait.com

Davoud wrote:
So, have I passed the test?

Yes, for some value of "pass."

Brian Tung
The Astronomy Corner at http://astro.isi.edu/
Unofficial C5+ Home Page at http://astro.isi.edu/c5plus/
The PleiadAtlas Home Page at http://astro.isi.edu/pleiadatlas/
My Own Personal FAQ (SAA) at http://astro.isi.edu/reference/faq.txt

Actually most of us were (and are) just ignoring yet another episode of
your self-centered bigotry. Don't worry, I never take what you write
seriously, at least nothing which has anything to do with religion or
politics (or Questars). Yes, people who hold beliefs different than
your own do indeed have a brain, make no mistake about it. That's a
lesson that the vast majority of leftists have yet to learn,
unfortunately.



Davoud wrote:

And people took my post seriously! Except Gareth Slee, who caught on
immediately. As I said to Gareth, I don't know how those who took me
seriously deal with the spoken language, which contains no graphic
smileys. I expected derision and flames from the right and laughter
and
nods from my fellow Humanist leftists, but I never expected to be
taken
seriously!