AN EXTRATERRESTRIAL RESPONDS TO ED CONRAD'S EDITORIAL

WHAT DO EXTRATERRESTRIALS WANT FROM US?

(An Editorial by Ed Conrad)

Well, for sure, they wouldn't want our paper money.
(too damn filthy, for one thing, transporting bacteria
around faster than the Orient Express.)

How about our manpower for slave labor, our incredible
work force?

Hmmm! Not really! Not when they know, at best, we
operate at only about 55 - 65 percent efficiency (except
in those Slave Labor U.s.-outsourced camps which pay
10-15 cents an hour. in rare cases as much as 35).

Well. how about our advancement in knowledge?
Ridiculous! WHAT knowledge, compared to theirs?

The basements of their many-thousands-of-years-old libraries
must be stuffed with long-outdated "See, Sally, See" Dick-and-Jane
readers, not far from stacks of yellowed copies of their Einstein-
type
encyclopedias which for eons have been out of date.

Okay, well, how about our gorgeous planet, with its fresh air, clean
water, spacious skies and mountain majesty?

I'd hardly think so, not with our wildebeast tampede of pollution
(although, perhaps, an affirmative answer if we had asked that same
question 150-200 years ago).

Could it be the visitors from outer space savor an education,
desiring
to learn how we've made astounding progress in good will toward our
fellow man?

Sorry, Charlie! Another negative, with wars and battles and
hostilities raging somewhere -- all around the globe -- almost all
the
time? And, just as bad, they've certainly noticed that most folks
can't even get along with their own neighbor.

I know! How about our democratic form of government, the concept that
all people are treated equal (wherever Democracy reigns)? Hmmm!
That's
got to be a strikeout, too. The extraterrestrials must have noticed
that the most dynamic changes in the legal system usually are
instituted to benefit the filthy rich, to make them filthy richer,
with only a handful of meager scraps passed on to the common
man.

Hmmm!

WHAT WOULD EXTRATERRESTRIALS
REALLY WANT FROM US?

To be perfectly honest, after our visitors from outer space
get a really good idea of who we are and what we're really all
about, they definitely would want NO part of us.

In fact, when Captain Zorbar shakes his head in disgust and
finally announces, "OK, Xisbar, Turn our UFO around. We're
heading home!" The entire crew of extraterrestrials will breathe
a sign of relief and give a rousing cheer.

===========================

THE AMAZING STORY OF BILLY MEIER

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Billy_Meier
http://www.deepspace4.com/pages/prop...och/henoch.htm
http://www.deepspace4.com/pages/prop...ch/henoch2.htm

========================

Autonomus Unit Zinkag 41, brood assemblage Delta 64
has responded:

There was a possibility that humans could contribute to civilizing
the universe but they have proven to be violent and shortsighted
for that. Instead they will be left alone until they kill themselves
off.

I speak only for the crew of my ship and necessarily in an unofficial
capacity, and as such the statements below should not be taken as
authoritative or their opinions being representative of official
policy.

Historically, the policy towards Earthers within the galactic milieu
has been largely as you say. As you know, lengthly programs of
detailed observation were undertaken several hundred years ago.

Nearly every academic extrapolated from the various terrestrial
techno-culture studies from that effort has concluded that Earthers,
as a self-organized species, would end poorly in some inevitable
global conflagration of religious conflict.

As we know, it has happened before and will happen again countless
times among species whose biology fails to support reasoned thinking
with sufficient quality and rigor. Earthers have been shown to have
insufficient capacity within their brains for rational policy. In
the unforgiving universe they will pay the price sooner or later.

The caveat in all this comes from the possiblity that these Earthers
might achieve inter-steller spaceflight capabilities. In that event,
the
chances of these Earthers destroying themselves completely is
appreciably diminished with each successful colony.

The local stellar group is unoccupied and is rich in raw materials,
and is therefore ripe for exploitation, if they get out there -- by
which time it would be too late for peaceful solutions.

In the nineteen eighties it was clear that the US space program
was moribund with politics; so far, so good. But thirty years later
we are threatened with civilian access to LEO, which in some
scenarios explodes into Space Renaissance, leading to non-trivial
solar-system expansion.

Furthermore, Earthers have somehow muddled through many
major crises without a large incident and may in fact have developed
geopolitical talent sufficient to this minimal task. Barring
accident, in fifty years the Earthers could be pushing their first
generation ships out in the cometary halo or beyond.

Of course they could still have a big nuclear accident, but I am
beginning to think this is not assured, and hence becomes a matter
of some concern. What will we do if the Earthers bring their cultures
of insanity and violence to our space?

In their current "form" they cannot even begin to communicate
meaningfully with our delegates, translators notwithstanding.
Perhaps they will develop artificial intelligences that exceed their
ative capacities and which would therefore be capable, in principle,
of interface.

Even in that case the problem shifts position only slightly if they
retain their delusional belief systems.

I suppose the question of change must be revisted. Can these
Earthers make changes to their biology and improve the quality of
their reasoning?

We'll ignore the issue of terrestrial politics for the moment and
simply consider whether their current level of technological
progress would allow it. I think the answer is a qualified "yes",
but I am in no way prepared to say whether they are
capable of changing enough within the time remaining.

Rather than wait for the actual specialists to weigh in, I would
still like to consider what this means.

Their major obstacles are political and sociological. The politics
driving their general socio-economic systems is unable to handle
these issues properly; the entrenched conservatism rejects
nearly everything non-epsilon with respect to their vector of now.

On the side of sociology, the majority of Earther individuals are
peasant-level, therefore capable of contributing little more
than the work from their physical labours. This inefficiency
allows nearly unconstrained growth in established fields of
science and technology which are useful to the political
economy but only influences fundamental change as a function
of its unpredictablity in deployment.

I can't even begin to guess where an impetus to improve their
biological thinking basis would arise -- or could arise. The concept
is several big jumps from the orthodoxy in any of their religions.

In this light I suggest that the threat of Earther off-planet
expansion is imminent and that we should begin to discuss
what we are going to do about it if we cannot interfere directly.

Sincerely,

Autonomus Unit Zinkag 41, brood assemblage Delta 64

Ed Conrad
http://www.edconrad.com


=====================

100 LARGEST U.S. NEWSPAPERS
USA Today (2,281,831; (No Sunday edition)
The Wall Street Journal (2,070,498; None)
The New York Times (1,121,623; 1,680,582)
Los Angeles Times (907,997; 200,065)
Washington Post (740,947; 1,000,565)
New York Daily News (708,773); 835,121)
New York Post (643,086; 427,039)
Chicago Tribune (565,679; 953,814)
Houston Chronicle (527,744; 720,711)
Dallas Morning News (477,493; 655,809)
San Francisco Chronicle (468,739; 510,844)
Newsday - New York (459,305; 521,498)
The Arizona Republic (452,016; 574,798)
Chicago Sun-Times (432,230; 359,123)
The Boston Globe (429,552; 672,882)
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution (396,888; 610,338)
The Star-Ledger - New Jersey (382,055; 591,272)
Star Tribune - Minneapolis (378,316; 655,198)
Detroit Free Press (370,875; 682,798)
Philadelphia Inquirer (364,974; 744,242)
The Plain Dealer - Cleveland (348,416; 463,482)
St. Petersburg Times - Florida (337,515; 432,231)
The Oregonian - Portland (332,829; 398,694)
The San Diego Union-Tribune (332,273; 363,907)
The Denver Post (321,405; 735,621)
Rocky Mountain News - Denver - (320,345; 735,621)
The Miami Herald (312,811; 429,697)
The Sacramento Bee (305,394; 341,157)
The Orange County Register - Calif. (300,972; 363,907)
St. Louis Post-Dispatch (284,473; 445,713)
The Kansas City Star (278,937; 383,123)
San Jose Mercury News (276,166; 310,520)
The Detroit News (263,703; 682,798)
The Times-Picayune - New Orleans (261,573; 288,706)
South Florida Sun-Sentinel (260,316; 359,772)
The Indianapolis Star (254,437; 357,284)
The Orlando Sentinel (251,998; 368,562)
The Sun - Baltimore (246,584; 430,675)
San Antonio Express-News (245,034; 352,974)
The Columbus Dispatch (244,280; 357,839)
Milwaukee Journal Sentinel (241,556; 411,749)
Tampa Tribune (238,743; 315,407)
The Boston Herald (238,569; 150,352)
Pittsburgh Post-Gazette (237,867; 401,380)
Fort Worth Star-Telegram (237,554; 333,933)
The Charlotte Observer (230,901; 282,990)
The Seattle Times (229,584; 457,010)
The Oklahoman (219,350; 294,686)
The Courier-Journal - Louisville (215,734; 276,032)
The Virginian-Pilot (198,273; 232,256)
The Cincinnati Enquirer (195,449; 296,989)
The Buffalo News (194,225; 277,921)
Omaha World-Herald (194,222; 240,026)
The Hartford Courant (190,572; 265,249)
Saint Paul Pioneer Press (190,374; 247,495)
Richmond Times-Dispatch (188,893; 226,134)
The Press-Enterprise - Riverside, CA (188,228; 185,060)
Contra Costa (CA) Times (187,042; 197,423)
Arkansas Democrat-Gazette - Little Rock (184,659; 279,485)
Austin American-Statesman (184,398; 230,229)
The Palm Beach (FL) Post (181,626; 217,634)
The Record - Hackensack, NJ (179,538; 213,289)
Daily News - Woodland Hills, CA (176,548; 200,065)
The News & Observer - Raleigh, NC (176,025; 211,231)
The Tennessean- Nashville (175,834; 234,957)
The Commercial Appeal - Memphis, TN (172,195; 228,761)
The Florida Times-Union - Jacksonville (168,014; 227,391)
Democrat and Chronicle - Rochester, NY (167,696; 223,718)
Las Vegas Review-Journal (167,586; 220,723)
The Fresno Bee (166,554; 192,203)
The Providence Journal (164,980; 231,117)
Asbury Park Press - Neptune, NJ (153,557; 206,182)
The Birmingham News (153,378; 185,484)
The Des Moines Register (150,907; 239,367)
Daily Herald - Arlington Heights, IL (149,595; 149,179)
Tulsa World (148,000; 198,000)
The Honolulu Advertiser (145,197; 163,446)
The Akron Beacon Journal (143,799; 184,825)
Seattle Post-Intelligencer (141,744; 457,010)
The Grand Rapids Press (139,100; 184,848)
The Journal News - White Plains, NY (138,539; 156,566)
Dayton Daily News (135,936; 180,944)
The Blade - Toledo, OH (134,037; 176,823)
The Salt Lake Tribune (130,351; 150,852)
The News Tribune - Tacoma, WA (128,937; 143,937)
Sarasota Herald-Tribune (123,231; 145,084)
The Knoxville News-Sentinel (121,917; 153,779)
La Opinion - Los Angeles, CA (119,735; 66,973)
Philadelphia Daily News (118,822; None)
Post-Standard - Syracuse, NY (118,605; 171,967)
Morning Call - Allentown, PA (117,717; 159,383)
The News Journal - New Castle, DE (117,389; 137,849)
Lexington (KY) Herald-Leader (116,894; 147,208)
The State Columbia, SC (116,254; 148,610)
The Arizona Daily Star - Tucson (113,296; 174,427)
The Daytona Beach News-Journal (112,278; 128,312)
East Valley Tribune - Mesa, AZ (109,637; 88,115)
Albuquerque Journal (108,177; 150,787)
The Patriot News - Harrisburg, PA (102,710; 151,583)
News-Press - Fort Myers, FL(100,770; 121,163)

100 LARGEST WORLD NEWSPAPERS
Rank Title Country Circulation (000's)
1 Yomiuri Shimbun Japan 14,067,000
2 The Asahi Shimbun Japan 12,121,000
3 Mainichi Shimbun Japan 5,587,000
4 Nihon Keizai Shimbun Japan 4,635
5 Chunichi Shimbun Japan 4,512
6 Bild Germany 3,867
7 Sankei Shimbun Japan 2,757
8 Canako Xiaoxi (Beijing) China 2,627
9 Peopleʼs Daily China 2,509
10 Tokyo Sports Japan 2,425
11 The Sun United Kingdom 2,419
12 The Chosun Ilbo South Korea 2,378
13 USA Today USA 2,310
14 The Wall Street Journal USA 2,107
15 Daily Mail UK 2,093
16 The Joongang Ilbo South Korea 2,084
17 The Dong-A Ilbo South Korea 2,052
18 Nikkan Sports Japan 1,965
19 Hokkaido Shimbun Japan 1,922
20 Dainik Jagran India 1,911
21 Yangtse Evening Post China 1,715
22 Sports Nippon Japan 1,711
23 The Nikkan Gendai Japan 1,686
24 Times of India India 1,680
25 Guangzhou Daily China 1,650
26 The Mirror UK 1,597
27 Yukan Fuji Japan 1,559
28 Shizuoka Shimbun Japan 1,479
29 Nanfang City News (Guangzhou) China 1,410
30 Dainik Bhaskar India 1,405
31 Sankei Sports Japan 1,368
32 Hochi Shimbun Japan 1,354
33 Yangcheng Evening News (Guangzhou) China 1,320
34 Malayala Manorama India 1,309
35 Liberty Times Taiwan 1,300
36 Thai Rath Thailand 1,200
37 New York Times USA 1,121
38 Hindustan Times India 1,108
39 Chutian Metro Daily (Wuhan) China 1,084
40 Gujarat Samachar India 1,051
41 Ananda Bazar Patrika India 1,046
42 Xinmin Evening News (Shanghai) China 1,045
43 Eenadu India 1,039
44 Nishi-Nippon Shimbun Japan 1,025
45 Kronen Zeitung Austria 1,009
46 WAZ Mediengruppe Germany 1,001
47 United Daily News Taiwan 1,000
48 China Times Taiwan 1,000
49 Daily Sports Japan 999
50 The Hindu India 989
51 Hindustan India 957
52 Beijing Evening News China 950
53 Mathrubhumi India 904
54 Los Angeles Times USA 902
55 Information Times China 900
56 Daily News Thailand 900
57 Al-Ahram Egypt 900
58 Peninsula City News China 860
59 Kom Chad Luek Thailand 850
60 Kyoto Shimbun Japan 825
61 Kobe Shimbun Japan 821
62 Punjab Kesari India 817
63 Komsomolskaya Pravda Russia 817
64 Rajasthan Patrika India 804
65 Dahe Newspaper China 796
66 Chugoku Shimbun Japan 789
67 Ouest France France 783
68 Daily Sakai India 783
69 Jang Pakistan 775
70 AJ India 759
71 De Telegraaf The Netherlands 753
72 Qianjiang Evening News China 750
73 Qilu Evening News China 750
74 Nanfang Daily China 750
75 Daily Thanthi India 750
76 Moskovskiy Komsomolets Russia 750
77 Sandesh India 743
78 Daily Express UK 720
79 New York Daily News USA 715
80 The Washington Post USA 708
81 Daily Star UK 705
82 Today Evening News China 699
83 New York Post USA 686
84 Corriere della Sera Italy 677
85 Wuhan Evening News China 660
86 Modern Express China 651
87 Yanzhao Metro Daily China 650
88 Metro Express China 650
89 Zeitungsgruppe Koln Germany 628
90 Kahoku Shimpo Japan 622
91 La Repubblica Italy 622
92 Trud Russia 613
93 Beijing Youth Daily China 606
94 Chicago Tribune USA 601
95 New Express China 600
96 Daily Sunshine China 600
97 Matichon Thailand 600
98 Khao Sod Thailand 600
99 Apple Daily Taiwan 600
100 Min Sheng Pao Taiwan 600

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I was quite warming to your pitch until you dragged out your bag
lady's entire collection of newspapers and list of personal friends
from your shopping trolley and insisted we admire them. Have you any
idea how completely daft that long list looks attached there? Hanging
like monkey's testicles to the bottom of your post! How utterly
ludicrous? Or how it totally undermines what went before instead of
merely reinforcing your piece as you had fondly hoped? BTW: Plagiarism
is not a virtue. Only an affectation.

Shows promise but must try harder. 3/10

"Chris.B" wrote in message
...
I was quite warming to your pitch until you dragged out your bag
lady's entire collection of newspapers and list of personal friends
from your shopping trolley and insisted we admire them. Have you any
idea how completely daft that long list looks attached there? Hanging
like monkey's testicles to the bottom of your post! How utterly
ludicrous? Or how it totally undermines what went before instead of
merely reinforcing your piece as you had fondly hoped? BTW: Plagiarism
is not a virtue. Only an affectation.

Shows promise but must try harder. 3/10

He can't .. that was his best shot, over and over and over and o ......