Astro joke ...

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are going camping. They pitch their tent
under the stars and go to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night,
Holmes wakes Watson up: "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what
you deduce." Watson says, "I see millions of stars and even if a few of
those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth,
and if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be
life." Holmes replied: "Watson, you idiot, somebody stole our tent."

"Carusus" wrote...
in message ...

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are going camping. They pitch their tent
under the stars and go to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night,
Holmes wakes Watson up: "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what
you deduce." Watson says, "I see millions of stars and even if a few of
those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth,
and if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be
life." Holmes replied: "Watson, you idiot, somebody stole our tent."

AIR FORCE DENIES STORIES OF UFO CRASH...

Press release by: Jim Griffith )

Valles Marineris (MPI) - A spokesthing for Mars Air Force
denounced as false rumors that an alien space craft crashed
in the desert, outside of Ares Vallis on Friday. Appearing at
a press conference today, General Rgrmrmy The Lesser,
stated that "the object was, in fact, a harmless high-altitude
weather balloon, not an alien spacecraft".

The story broke late Friday night when a major stationed at
nearby Ares Vallis Air Force Base contacted the Valles
Marineris Daily Record with a story about a strange, balloon-
shaped object which allegedly came down in the nearby
desert, "bouncing" several times before coming to a stop,
"deflating in a sudden explosion of alien gases". Minutes
later, General Rgrmrmy The Lesser contacted the Daily
Record telepathically to contradict the earlier report.

General Rgrmrmy The Lesser stated that hysterical stories
of a detachable vehicle roaming across the Martian desert
were blatant fiction, provoked by incidences involving
swamp gas. But the general public has been slow to accept
the Air Force's explanation of recent events, preferring to
speculate on the "other-worldly" nature of the crash debris.
Conspiracy theorists have condemned Rgrmrmy's
statements as evidence of "an obvious government cover-
up", pointing out that Mars has no swamps.

HEAVENLY BODIES...

Whenever anyone asks me what my hobbies are, I always
say I enjoy watching heavenly bodies.

MICROPEEKS...

A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender,

"How much for a beer?"
The bartender replies,
"For you, no charge."

Two atoms are walking down the street and they run in to each
other. One says to the other,
"Are you all right?"
"No, I lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I'm positive!"

YOU KNOW YOU'RE A DEEP SKY PERSON WHEN...

1. ... you consider the moon a major annoyance.
2. ... you consider Jupiter 'light pollution'.
3. ... you spend most of your time looking at or for objects
you can barely see.
4. ... your favorite objects are objects you can barely see.
5. ... you enjoy looking at faint fuzzies with the smallest
possible aperture.
6. ... you enjoy looking at faint fuzzies with the largest
possible aperture.
7. ... you like to choose objects that are easier to imagine
than to see.
8. ... your observing schedule demands that you search for
objects in twilight.
9. ... you keep thinking that if only the stars would go away,
it might really get dark.
10. ... you wonder how your favorite objects missed getting
included in the New General Catalog or the Index Catalog.
11. ... you're not sure that anything in this solar system counts
as astronomy anymore.
12. ... you're amazed that anyone needs artificial light to read
charts.
13. ... you could do a Messier Marathon from memory, if you
still bothered with Messier objects.
14. ... you can read all the NGC abbreviated visual descriptions
without using the key, but you have to be careful not to cheat
by just remembering what things look like.
15. ... you view a major earthquake as an opportunity for a close-
in dark-sky star party.
16. ... you welcome (and have even considered instigating) power
outages, but only if they occur on clear moonless nights.

Thanks goes to:

Randy Muller )
Jay Reynolds Freeman )
Stephen Tonkin )

AND...

http://www.open.hr/space/space/jokes.phtml

happy days and...
starry starry nights!

--
Tender is my love for thee
Oh star so close at hand,
Warming those so dear to me
As we lay on the sand...

It's so easy to believe
In all this beachin' fun,
That some day you and i will be--
Altogether one.

Paine Ellsworth

"Carusus" wrote...
in message ...

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are going camping. They pitch their tent
under the stars and go to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night,
Holmes wakes Watson up: "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what
you deduce." Watson says, "I see millions of stars and even if a few of
those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth,
and if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be
life." Holmes replied: "Watson, you idiot, somebody stole our tent."

AIR FORCE DENIES STORIES OF UFO CRASH...

Press release by: Jim Griffith )

Valles Marineris (MPI) - A spokesthing for Mars Air Force
denounced as false rumors that an alien space craft crashed
in the desert, outside of Ares Vallis on Friday. Appearing at
a press conference today, General Rgrmrmy The Lesser,
stated that "the object was, in fact, a harmless high-altitude
weather balloon, not an alien spacecraft".

The story broke late Friday night when a major stationed at
nearby Ares Vallis Air Force Base contacted the Valles
Marineris Daily Record with a story about a strange, balloon-
shaped object which allegedly came down in the nearby
desert, "bouncing" several times before coming to a stop,
"deflating in a sudden explosion of alien gases". Minutes
later, General Rgrmrmy The Lesser contacted the Daily
Record telepathically to contradict the earlier report.

General Rgrmrmy The Lesser stated that hysterical stories
of a detachable vehicle roaming across the Martian desert
were blatant fiction, provoked by incidences involving
swamp gas. But the general public has been slow to accept
the Air Force's explanation of recent events, preferring to
speculate on the "other-worldly" nature of the crash debris.
Conspiracy theorists have condemned Rgrmrmy's
statements as evidence of "an obvious government cover-
up", pointing out that Mars has no swamps.

HEAVENLY BODIES...

Whenever anyone asks me what my hobbies are, I always
say I enjoy watching heavenly bodies.

MICROPEEKS...

A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender,

"How much for a beer?"
The bartender replies,
"For you, no charge."

Two atoms are walking down the street and they run in to each
other. One says to the other,
"Are you all right?"
"No, I lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I'm positive!"

YOU KNOW YOU'RE A DEEP SKY PERSON WHEN...

1. ... you consider the moon a major annoyance.
2. ... you consider Jupiter 'light pollution'.
3. ... you spend most of your time looking at or for objects
you can barely see.
4. ... your favorite objects are objects you can barely see.
5. ... you enjoy looking at faint fuzzies with the smallest
possible aperture.
6. ... you enjoy looking at faint fuzzies with the largest
possible aperture.
7. ... you like to choose objects that are easier to imagine
than to see.
8. ... your observing schedule demands that you search for
objects in twilight.
9. ... you keep thinking that if only the stars would go away,
it might really get dark.
10. ... you wonder how your favorite objects missed getting
included in the New General Catalog or the Index Catalog.
11. ... you're not sure that anything in this solar system counts
as astronomy anymore.
12. ... you're amazed that anyone needs artificial light to read
charts.
13. ... you could do a Messier Marathon from memory, if you
still bothered with Messier objects.
14. ... you can read all the NGC abbreviated visual descriptions
without using the key, but you have to be careful not to cheat
by just remembering what things look like.
15. ... you view a major earthquake as an opportunity for a close-
in dark-sky star party.
16. ... you welcome (and have even considered instigating) power
outages, but only if they occur on clear moonless nights.

Thanks goes to:

Randy Muller )
Jay Reynolds Freeman )
Stephen Tonkin )

AND...

http://www.open.hr/space/space/jokes.phtml

happy days and...
starry starry nights!

--
Tender is my love for thee
Oh star so close at hand,
Warming those so dear to me
As we lay on the sand...

It's so easy to believe
In all this beachin' fun,
That some day you and i will be--
Altogether one.

Paine Ellsworth

Thanks folks - it's great to see some clean humor for a change....

"Carusus" wrote in message
...
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are going camping. They pitch their tent
under the stars and go to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night,
Holmes wakes Watson up: "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what
you deduce." Watson says, "I see millions of stars and even if a few of
those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth,
and if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be
life." Holmes replied: "Watson, you idiot, somebody stole our tent."

Thanks folks - it's great to see some clean humor for a change....

"Carusus" wrote in message
...
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are going camping. They pitch their tent
under the stars and go to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night,
Holmes wakes Watson up: "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what
you deduce." Watson says, "I see millions of stars and even if a few of
those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth,
and if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be
life." Holmes replied: "Watson, you idiot, somebody stole our tent."