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Just Say . . .
'Twas at the annual cheese- rolling at the parish church in Randwick,
a few miles the other side of Stroud. Every young woman for miles around would be there, although Mason adopted a more Scientifick motive, that of wishing to see at first hand, a much- rumored Prodigy, styled "The Octuple Gloucester,"-- a giant Cheese, the largest known in the Region, perhaps in the Kingdom. Some considered it an example of Reason run amok,-- an unreflective Vicar, worshiping at the wrong Altar, having convinced local Cheesemen to pool their efforts in accomplishing the feat. Scaled up from the dimensions of the classic Single Gloucester, not only in Thickness, but actually octupled in all dimensions, making it more like a 512- fold or Quincentenariduodecimal Gloucester,-- running to nearly four tons in weight when green, and even after shrinkage towering ten feet high by the time it emerged from the giant Shed built at the outskirts of town especially for this unprecedented Caseifaction,-- the extraordinary Cheese, as it slowly aged, had already provided material for months of public Rumor. In recent days, trying to contain their impatience, crowds had begun to gather outside the shed entrance, as if a royal birth were imminent. When the Cheese was at last carefully rolled into publick View, those who were there remember a collective gasp, a beat of silence, then, "Well,-- I knew it was going to be _big_, but--" . . . "How ever are they going to get it up to the Church?" . . . "Wonder what it tastes like?" Traditionally, the cheeses to be blessed and ritually rolled thrice 'round the churchyard, and thence down a Hill, ordinary- sized Double Gloucesters, were carried to the site in wheeled litters of some antiquity, though such clearly, for this Behemoth, would not do. Someone finally located a gigantic Cotswold Waggon, painted brick red and sky blue, as were the spokes and rims, respectively, of its wheels. The Cheese, an equally vivid orange- yellow, had then to be carefully rolled off a kind of dock and on into the bed of the Waggon, where, like some dangerous large animal, it was secured with stout Cables in an erect position. As the sides of the Waggon were of spindles and not planks, the Cheese was visible to onlookers in its full Circumference. The progress to Randwick Church was a Spectacle long to be remembered. Neighbor folk of all conditions lined the route, at first, as the great Cheese swayed and loomed into view, silently in awe,-- then, presently, as if strangely calmed by the Beams of a Luminary rising anew above each dip in the road, calling out to the Cheese and its conveyors, calls which after not too long became huzzahs and even Hosannas. Drinkers tumbled out of the alehouses and toasted the majestic food product as it passed-- "Let's have three cheers for the Great Octuple, lads!" Girls blew Kisses. Local youths from time to time would spring aboard, to help steady the cargo when the road- surface became difficult, able to tell one day of how they had escorted the great Cheese upon its journey, that famous first of May. The Vicar had decided for reasons of safety to roll nothing greater than a Double Gloucester down the Hill,-- yet as if ordain'd by some invariance in the Day's Angular Momentum, the Drag- Shoe on one side of the Octuple's Waggon broke away, causing the conveyance to slew, and slip down the side of a Hummock, and at last tip over, launching the Cheese into the Air, just before the Waggon (its Catapult) fell over with a great creak and jangle, Wheels a- spin, as meanwhile the enormous Cheese was hitting the Slope perfectly vertical,-- bouncing once, startlingly orange against the green hillside, and beginning to roll, gathering speed. The first peripheral impression Mason had of it was of course a star- gazer's-- thinking, Why, the Moon isn't suppos'd to be out, nor full, nor quite this bright shade of yellow, nor for that matter to be growing in size this way,-- about then smoaking belatedly where he was, and what was about to happen. "Ahr! Mercy!" He threw his arms in front of his Face and succumb'd before the cylindrickal Onslaught, with a peculiar Horror at having been singl'd out for Misadventure . . . _The victim of a Cheese malevolent_, being his last thought before toppling upon his face, grass up his Nose, hearing thro' his Belly the homicidal Ponderosity roll by without the interruption of a flatten'd Mason to divert it from its Destiny. Thomas Pynchon, _Mason & Dixon_ -- smeeter 11 or maybe 12 mp 10 mhm 29x13 Indeed, Children, this is the part of the Tale where your old Uncle gets to go insane. _Mason & Dixon_ -----= Posted via Newsfeeds.Com, Uncensored Usenet News =----- http://www.newsfeeds.com - The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World! -----== Over 100,000 Newsgroups - 19 Different Servers! =----- |
#2
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On Tue, 16 Sep 2003 13:56:28 -0400, mimus ,
wrote: 'Twas at the annual cheese- rolling at the parish church in Randwick, a few miles the other side of Stroud. Every young woman for miles around would be there, although Mason adopted a more Scientifick motive, that of wishing to see at first hand, a much- rumored Prodigy, styled "The Octuple Gloucester,"-- a giant Cheese, the largest known in the Region, perhaps in the Kingdom. Some considered it an example of Reason run amok,-- an unreflective Vicar, worshiping at the wrong Altar, having convinced local Cheesemen to pool their efforts in accomplishing the feat. Scaled up from the dimensions of the classic Single Gloucester, not only in Thickness, but actually octupled in all dimensions, making it more like a 512- fold or Quincentenariduodecimal Gloucester,-- running to nearly four tons in weight when green, and even after shrinkage towering ten feet high by the time it emerged from the giant Shed built at the outskirts of town especially for this unprecedented Caseifaction,-- the extraordinary Cheese, as it slowly aged, had already provided material for months of public Rumor. In recent days, trying to contain their impatience, crowds had begun to gather outside the shed entrance, as if a royal birth were imminent. When the Cheese was at last carefully rolled into publick View, those who were there remember a collective gasp, a beat of silence, then, "Well,-- I knew it was going to be _big_, but--" . . . "How ever are they going to get it up to the Church?" . . . "Wonder what it tastes like?" Traditionally, the cheeses to be blessed and ritually rolled thrice 'round the churchyard, and thence down a Hill, ordinary- sized Double Gloucesters, were carried to the site in wheeled litters of some antiquity, though such clearly, for this Behemoth, would not do. Someone finally located a gigantic Cotswold Waggon, painted brick red and sky blue, as were the spokes and rims, respectively, of its wheels. The Cheese, an equally vivid orange- yellow, had then to be carefully rolled off a kind of dock and on into the bed of the Waggon, where, like some dangerous large animal, it was secured with stout Cables in an erect position. As the sides of the Waggon were of spindles and not planks, the Cheese was visible to onlookers in its full Circumference. The progress to Randwick Church was a Spectacle long to be remembered. Neighbor folk of all conditions lined the route, at first, as the great Cheese swayed and loomed into view, silently in awe,-- then, presently, as if strangely calmed by the Beams of a Luminary rising anew above each dip in the road, calling out to the Cheese and its conveyors, calls which after not too long became huzzahs and even Hosannas. Drinkers tumbled out of the alehouses and toasted the majestic food product as it passed-- "Let's have three cheers for the Great Octuple, lads!" Girls blew Kisses. Local youths from time to time would spring aboard, to help steady the cargo when the road- surface became difficult, able to tell one day of how they had escorted the great Cheese upon its journey, that famous first of May. The Vicar had decided for reasons of safety to roll nothing greater than a Double Gloucester down the Hill,-- yet as if ordain'd by some invariance in the Day's Angular Momentum, the Drag- Shoe on one side of the Octuple's Waggon broke away, causing the conveyance to slew, and slip down the side of a Hummock, and at last tip over, launching the Cheese into the Air, just before the Waggon (its Catapult) fell over with a great creak and jangle, Wheels a- spin, as meanwhile the enormous Cheese was hitting the Slope perfectly vertical,-- bouncing once, startlingly orange against the green hillside, and beginning to roll, gathering speed. The first peripheral impression Mason had of it was of course a star- gazer's-- thinking, Why, the Moon isn't suppos'd to be out, nor full, nor quite this bright shade of yellow, nor for that matter to be growing in size this way,-- about then smoaking belatedly where he was, and what was about to happen. "Ahr! Mercy!" He threw his arms in front of his Face and succumb'd before the cylindrickal Onslaught, with a peculiar Horror at having been singl'd out for Misadventure . . . _The victim of a Cheese malevolent_, being his last thought before toppling upon his face, grass up his Nose, hearing thro' his Belly the homicidal Ponderosity roll by without the interruption of a flatten'd Mason to divert it from its Destiny. Thomas Pynchon, _Mason & Dixon_ Also read a poem by James Tate called "The Wild Wheel of Cheese" If I remember right. For something similar and equally amusing. Cheese ya later! Jade |
#3
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On Tue, 16 Sep 2003 13:56:28 -0400, mimus ,
wrote: 'Twas at the annual cheese- rolling at the parish church in Randwick, a few miles the other side of Stroud. Every young woman for miles around would be there, although Mason adopted a more Scientifick motive, that of wishing to see at first hand, a much- rumored Prodigy, styled "The Octuple Gloucester,"-- a giant Cheese, the largest known in the Region, perhaps in the Kingdom. Some considered it an example of Reason run amok,-- an unreflective Vicar, worshiping at the wrong Altar, having convinced local Cheesemen to pool their efforts in accomplishing the feat. Scaled up from the dimensions of the classic Single Gloucester, not only in Thickness, but actually octupled in all dimensions, making it more like a 512- fold or Quincentenariduodecimal Gloucester,-- running to nearly four tons in weight when green, and even after shrinkage towering ten feet high by the time it emerged from the giant Shed built at the outskirts of town especially for this unprecedented Caseifaction,-- the extraordinary Cheese, as it slowly aged, had already provided material for months of public Rumor. In recent days, trying to contain their impatience, crowds had begun to gather outside the shed entrance, as if a royal birth were imminent. When the Cheese was at last carefully rolled into publick View, those who were there remember a collective gasp, a beat of silence, then, "Well,-- I knew it was going to be _big_, but--" . . . "How ever are they going to get it up to the Church?" . . . "Wonder what it tastes like?" Traditionally, the cheeses to be blessed and ritually rolled thrice 'round the churchyard, and thence down a Hill, ordinary- sized Double Gloucesters, were carried to the site in wheeled litters of some antiquity, though such clearly, for this Behemoth, would not do. Someone finally located a gigantic Cotswold Waggon, painted brick red and sky blue, as were the spokes and rims, respectively, of its wheels. The Cheese, an equally vivid orange- yellow, had then to be carefully rolled off a kind of dock and on into the bed of the Waggon, where, like some dangerous large animal, it was secured with stout Cables in an erect position. As the sides of the Waggon were of spindles and not planks, the Cheese was visible to onlookers in its full Circumference. The progress to Randwick Church was a Spectacle long to be remembered. Neighbor folk of all conditions lined the route, at first, as the great Cheese swayed and loomed into view, silently in awe,-- then, presently, as if strangely calmed by the Beams of a Luminary rising anew above each dip in the road, calling out to the Cheese and its conveyors, calls which after not too long became huzzahs and even Hosannas. Drinkers tumbled out of the alehouses and toasted the majestic food product as it passed-- "Let's have three cheers for the Great Octuple, lads!" Girls blew Kisses. Local youths from time to time would spring aboard, to help steady the cargo when the road- surface became difficult, able to tell one day of how they had escorted the great Cheese upon its journey, that famous first of May. The Vicar had decided for reasons of safety to roll nothing greater than a Double Gloucester down the Hill,-- yet as if ordain'd by some invariance in the Day's Angular Momentum, the Drag- Shoe on one side of the Octuple's Waggon broke away, causing the conveyance to slew, and slip down the side of a Hummock, and at last tip over, launching the Cheese into the Air, just before the Waggon (its Catapult) fell over with a great creak and jangle, Wheels a- spin, as meanwhile the enormous Cheese was hitting the Slope perfectly vertical,-- bouncing once, startlingly orange against the green hillside, and beginning to roll, gathering speed. The first peripheral impression Mason had of it was of course a star- gazer's-- thinking, Why, the Moon isn't suppos'd to be out, nor full, nor quite this bright shade of yellow, nor for that matter to be growing in size this way,-- about then smoaking belatedly where he was, and what was about to happen. "Ahr! Mercy!" He threw his arms in front of his Face and succumb'd before the cylindrickal Onslaught, with a peculiar Horror at having been singl'd out for Misadventure . . . _The victim of a Cheese malevolent_, being his last thought before toppling upon his face, grass up his Nose, hearing thro' his Belly the homicidal Ponderosity roll by without the interruption of a flatten'd Mason to divert it from its Destiny. Thomas Pynchon, _Mason & Dixon_ Also read a poem by James Tate called "The Wild Wheel of Cheese" If I remember right. For something similar and equally amusing. Cheese ya later! Jade |
#4
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On Wed, 17 Sep 2003 01:27:15 +0100, Peter J Ross
wrote: On Tue, 16 Sep 2003 19:00:04 -0500, Starshine Moonbeam's long-suffering mother turned her back for just a moment, and Starshine Moonbeam did *this* to alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk: In article , ) dropped a +5 bundle of words... 'Twas at the annual cheese- rolling at the parish church in Randwick, a few miles the other side of Stroud. Every young woman for miles around would be there, although Mason adopted a more Scientifick motive, that of wishing to see at first hand, a much- rumored Prodigy, styled "The Octuple Gloucester,"-- a giant Cheese, the largest known in the Region, perhaps in the Kingdom. Some considered it an example of Reason run amok,-- an unreflective Vicar, worshiping at the wrong Altar, having convinced local Cheesemen to pool their efforts in accomplishing the feat. Scaled up from the dimensions of the classic Single Gloucester, not only in Thickness, but actually octupled in all dimensions, making it more like a 512- fold or Quincentenariduodecimal Gloucester,-- running to nearly four tons in weight when green, and even after shrinkage towering ten feet high by the time it emerged from the giant Shed built at the outskirts of town especially for this unprecedented Caseifaction,-- the extraordinary Cheese, as it slowly aged, had already provided material for months of public Rumor. In recent days, trying to contain their impatience, crowds had begun to gather outside the shed entrance, as if a royal birth were imminent. When the Cheese was at last carefully rolled into publick View, those who were there remember a collective gasp, a beat of silence, then, "Well,-- I knew it was going to be _big_, but--" . . . "How ever are they going to get it up to the Church?" . . . "Wonder what it tastes like?" Traditionally, the cheeses to be blessed and ritually rolled thrice 'round the churchyard, and thence down a Hill, ordinary- sized Double Gloucesters, were carried to the site in wheeled litters of some antiquity, though such clearly, for this Behemoth, would not do. Someone finally located a gigantic Cotswold Waggon, painted brick red and sky blue, as were the spokes and rims, respectively, of its wheels. The Cheese, an equally vivid orange- yellow, had then to be carefully rolled off a kind of dock and on into the bed of the Waggon, where, like some dangerous large animal, it was secured with stout Cables in an erect position. As the sides of the Waggon were of spindles and not planks, the Cheese was visible to onlookers in its full Circumference. The progress to Randwick Church was a Spectacle long to be remembered. Neighbor folk of all conditions lined the route, at first, as the great Cheese swayed and loomed into view, silently in awe,-- then, presently, as if strangely calmed by the Beams of a Luminary rising anew above each dip in the road, calling out to the Cheese and its conveyors, calls which after not too long became huzzahs and even Hosannas. Drinkers tumbled out of the alehouses and toasted the majestic food product as it passed-- "Let's have three cheers for the Great Octuple, lads!" Girls blew Kisses. Local youths from time to time would spring aboard, to help steady the cargo when the road- surface became difficult, able to tell one day of how they had escorted the great Cheese upon its journey, that famous first of May. The Vicar had decided for reasons of safety to roll nothing greater than a Double Gloucester down the Hill,-- yet as if ordain'd by some invariance in the Day's Angular Momentum, the Drag- Shoe on one side of the Octuple's Waggon broke away, causing the conveyance to slew, and slip down the side of a Hummock, and at last tip over, launching the Cheese into the Air, just before the Waggon (its Catapult) fell over with a great creak and jangle, Wheels a- spin, as meanwhile the enormous Cheese was hitting the Slope perfectly vertical,-- bouncing once, startlingly orange against the green hillside, and beginning to roll, gathering speed. The first peripheral impression Mason had of it was of course a star- gazer's-- thinking, Why, the Moon isn't suppos'd to be out, nor full, nor quite this bright shade of yellow, nor for that matter to be growing in size this way,-- about then smoaking belatedly where he was, and what was about to happen. "Ahr! Mercy!" He threw his arms in front of his Face and succumb'd before the cylindrickal Onslaught, with a peculiar Horror at having been singl'd out for Misadventure . . . _The victim of a Cheese malevolent_, being his last thought before toppling upon his face, grass up his Nose, hearing thro' his Belly the homicidal Ponderosity roll by without the interruption of a flatten'd Mason to divert it from its Destiny. Thomas Pynchon, _Mason & Dixon_ This was just cheesy. GET IT? CHEESY? GET IT? *slinks off* Blessad are the cheesemakers. *Cheese*makers, see? Like *peace*makers but different. LOL? *puts gun in mouth* Turning a little Swiss on us? -- smeeter 11 or maybe 12 mp 10 mhm 29x13 Indeed, Children, this is the part of the Tale where your old Uncle gets to go insane. _Mason & Dixon_ -----= Posted via Newsfeeds.Com, Uncensored Usenet News =----- http://www.newsfeeds.com - The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World! -----== Over 100,000 Newsgroups - 19 Different Servers! =----- |
#5
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On Wed, 17 Sep 2003 01:27:15 +0100, Peter J Ross
wrote: On Tue, 16 Sep 2003 19:00:04 -0500, Starshine Moonbeam's long-suffering mother turned her back for just a moment, and Starshine Moonbeam did *this* to alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk: In article , ) dropped a +5 bundle of words... 'Twas at the annual cheese- rolling at the parish church in Randwick, a few miles the other side of Stroud. Every young woman for miles around would be there, although Mason adopted a more Scientifick motive, that of wishing to see at first hand, a much- rumored Prodigy, styled "The Octuple Gloucester,"-- a giant Cheese, the largest known in the Region, perhaps in the Kingdom. Some considered it an example of Reason run amok,-- an unreflective Vicar, worshiping at the wrong Altar, having convinced local Cheesemen to pool their efforts in accomplishing the feat. Scaled up from the dimensions of the classic Single Gloucester, not only in Thickness, but actually octupled in all dimensions, making it more like a 512- fold or Quincentenariduodecimal Gloucester,-- running to nearly four tons in weight when green, and even after shrinkage towering ten feet high by the time it emerged from the giant Shed built at the outskirts of town especially for this unprecedented Caseifaction,-- the extraordinary Cheese, as it slowly aged, had already provided material for months of public Rumor. In recent days, trying to contain their impatience, crowds had begun to gather outside the shed entrance, as if a royal birth were imminent. When the Cheese was at last carefully rolled into publick View, those who were there remember a collective gasp, a beat of silence, then, "Well,-- I knew it was going to be _big_, but--" . . . "How ever are they going to get it up to the Church?" . . . "Wonder what it tastes like?" Traditionally, the cheeses to be blessed and ritually rolled thrice 'round the churchyard, and thence down a Hill, ordinary- sized Double Gloucesters, were carried to the site in wheeled litters of some antiquity, though such clearly, for this Behemoth, would not do. Someone finally located a gigantic Cotswold Waggon, painted brick red and sky blue, as were the spokes and rims, respectively, of its wheels. The Cheese, an equally vivid orange- yellow, had then to be carefully rolled off a kind of dock and on into the bed of the Waggon, where, like some dangerous large animal, it was secured with stout Cables in an erect position. As the sides of the Waggon were of spindles and not planks, the Cheese was visible to onlookers in its full Circumference. The progress to Randwick Church was a Spectacle long to be remembered. Neighbor folk of all conditions lined the route, at first, as the great Cheese swayed and loomed into view, silently in awe,-- then, presently, as if strangely calmed by the Beams of a Luminary rising anew above each dip in the road, calling out to the Cheese and its conveyors, calls which after not too long became huzzahs and even Hosannas. Drinkers tumbled out of the alehouses and toasted the majestic food product as it passed-- "Let's have three cheers for the Great Octuple, lads!" Girls blew Kisses. Local youths from time to time would spring aboard, to help steady the cargo when the road- surface became difficult, able to tell one day of how they had escorted the great Cheese upon its journey, that famous first of May. The Vicar had decided for reasons of safety to roll nothing greater than a Double Gloucester down the Hill,-- yet as if ordain'd by some invariance in the Day's Angular Momentum, the Drag- Shoe on one side of the Octuple's Waggon broke away, causing the conveyance to slew, and slip down the side of a Hummock, and at last tip over, launching the Cheese into the Air, just before the Waggon (its Catapult) fell over with a great creak and jangle, Wheels a- spin, as meanwhile the enormous Cheese was hitting the Slope perfectly vertical,-- bouncing once, startlingly orange against the green hillside, and beginning to roll, gathering speed. The first peripheral impression Mason had of it was of course a star- gazer's-- thinking, Why, the Moon isn't suppos'd to be out, nor full, nor quite this bright shade of yellow, nor for that matter to be growing in size this way,-- about then smoaking belatedly where he was, and what was about to happen. "Ahr! Mercy!" He threw his arms in front of his Face and succumb'd before the cylindrickal Onslaught, with a peculiar Horror at having been singl'd out for Misadventure . . . _The victim of a Cheese malevolent_, being his last thought before toppling upon his face, grass up his Nose, hearing thro' his Belly the homicidal Ponderosity roll by without the interruption of a flatten'd Mason to divert it from its Destiny. Thomas Pynchon, _Mason & Dixon_ This was just cheesy. GET IT? CHEESY? GET IT? *slinks off* Blessad are the cheesemakers. *Cheese*makers, see? Like *peace*makers but different. LOL? *puts gun in mouth* Turning a little Swiss on us? -- smeeter 11 or maybe 12 mp 10 mhm 29x13 Indeed, Children, this is the part of the Tale where your old Uncle gets to go insane. _Mason & Dixon_ -----= Posted via Newsfeeds.Com, Uncensored Usenet News =----- http://www.newsfeeds.com - The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World! -----== Over 100,000 Newsgroups - 19 Different Servers! =----- |
#6
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On Wed, 17 Sep 2003 05:30:40 +0100, Peter J Ross
wrote: On Wed, 17 Sep 2003 00:04:26 -0400, mimus's long-suffering mother turned her back for just a moment, and mimus did *this* to alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk: On Wed, 17 Sep 2003 01:27:15 +0100, Peter J Ross wrote: On Tue, 16 Sep 2003 19:00:04 -0500, Starshine Moonbeam's long-suffering mother turned her back for just a moment, and Starshine Moonbeam did *this* to alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk: In article , ) dropped a +5 bundle of words... 'Twas at the annual cheese- rolling at the parish church in Randwick, a few miles the other side of Stroud. Every young woman for miles around would be there, although Mason adopted a more Scientifick motive, that of wishing to see at first hand, a much- rumored Prodigy, styled "The Octuple Gloucester,"-- a giant Cheese, the largest known in the Region, perhaps in the Kingdom. Some considered it an example of Reason run amok,-- an unreflective Vicar, worshiping at the wrong Altar, having convinced local Cheesemen to pool their efforts in accomplishing the feat. Scaled up from the dimensions of the classic Single Gloucester, not only in Thickness, but actually octupled in all dimensions, making it more like a 512- fold or Quincentenariduodecimal Gloucester,-- running to nearly four tons in weight when green, and even after shrinkage towering ten feet high by the time it emerged from the giant Shed built at the outskirts of town especially for this unprecedented Caseifaction,-- the extraordinary Cheese, as it slowly aged, had already provided material for months of public Rumor. In recent days, trying to contain their impatience, crowds had begun to gather outside the shed entrance, as if a royal birth were imminent. When the Cheese was at last carefully rolled into publick View, those who were there remember a collective gasp, a beat of silence, then, "Well,-- I knew it was going to be _big_, but--" . . . "How ever are they going to get it up to the Church?" . . . "Wonder what it tastes like?" Traditionally, the cheeses to be blessed and ritually rolled thrice 'round the churchyard, and thence down a Hill, ordinary- sized Double Gloucesters, were carried to the site in wheeled litters of some antiquity, though such clearly, for this Behemoth, would not do. Someone finally located a gigantic Cotswold Waggon, painted brick red and sky blue, as were the spokes and rims, respectively, of its wheels. The Cheese, an equally vivid orange- yellow, had then to be carefully rolled off a kind of dock and on into the bed of the Waggon, where, like some dangerous large animal, it was secured with stout Cables in an erect position. As the sides of the Waggon were of spindles and not planks, the Cheese was visible to onlookers in its full Circumference. The progress to Randwick Church was a Spectacle long to be remembered. Neighbor folk of all conditions lined the route, at first, as the great Cheese swayed and loomed into view, silently in awe,-- then, presently, as if strangely calmed by the Beams of a Luminary rising anew above each dip in the road, calling out to the Cheese and its conveyors, calls which after not too long became huzzahs and even Hosannas. Drinkers tumbled out of the alehouses and toasted the majestic food product as it passed-- "Let's have three cheers for the Great Octuple, lads!" Girls blew Kisses. Local youths from time to time would spring aboard, to help steady the cargo when the road- surface became difficult, able to tell one day of how they had escorted the great Cheese upon its journey, that famous first of May. The Vicar had decided for reasons of safety to roll nothing greater than a Double Gloucester down the Hill,-- yet as if ordain'd by some invariance in the Day's Angular Momentum, the Drag- Shoe on one side of the Octuple's Waggon broke away, causing the conveyance to slew, and slip down the side of a Hummock, and at last tip over, launching the Cheese into the Air, just before the Waggon (its Catapult) fell over with a great creak and jangle, Wheels a- spin, as meanwhile the enormous Cheese was hitting the Slope perfectly vertical,-- bouncing once, startlingly orange against the green hillside, and beginning to roll, gathering speed. The first peripheral impression Mason had of it was of course a star- gazer's-- thinking, Why, the Moon isn't suppos'd to be out, nor full, nor quite this bright shade of yellow, nor for that matter to be growing in size this way,-- about then smoaking belatedly where he was, and what was about to happen. "Ahr! Mercy!" He threw his arms in front of his Face and succumb'd before the cylindrickal Onslaught, with a peculiar Horror at having been singl'd out for Misadventure . . . _The victim of a Cheese malevolent_, being his last thought before toppling upon his face, grass up his Nose, hearing thro' his Belly the homicidal Ponderosity roll by without the interruption of a flatten'd Mason to divert it from its Destiny. Thomas Pynchon, _Mason & Dixon_ This was just cheesy. GET IT? CHEESY? GET IT? *slinks off* Blessad are the cheesemakers. *Cheese*makers, see? Like *peace*makers but different. LOL? *puts gun in mouth* Turning a little Swiss on us? Watch it, or I'll turn the little Swiss who invented the cuckoo-clock on you. Who wazzit? Euler? -- smeeter 11 or maybe 12 mp 10 mhm 29x13 Indeed, Children, this is the part of the Tale where your old Uncle gets to go insane. _Mason & Dixon_ -----= Posted via Newsfeeds.Com, Uncensored Usenet News =----- http://www.newsfeeds.com - The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World! -----== Over 100,000 Newsgroups - 19 Different Servers! =----- |
#7
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On Wed, 17 Sep 2003 05:30:40 +0100, Peter J Ross
wrote: On Wed, 17 Sep 2003 00:04:26 -0400, mimus's long-suffering mother turned her back for just a moment, and mimus did *this* to alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk: On Wed, 17 Sep 2003 01:27:15 +0100, Peter J Ross wrote: On Tue, 16 Sep 2003 19:00:04 -0500, Starshine Moonbeam's long-suffering mother turned her back for just a moment, and Starshine Moonbeam did *this* to alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk: In article , ) dropped a +5 bundle of words... 'Twas at the annual cheese- rolling at the parish church in Randwick, a few miles the other side of Stroud. Every young woman for miles around would be there, although Mason adopted a more Scientifick motive, that of wishing to see at first hand, a much- rumored Prodigy, styled "The Octuple Gloucester,"-- a giant Cheese, the largest known in the Region, perhaps in the Kingdom. Some considered it an example of Reason run amok,-- an unreflective Vicar, worshiping at the wrong Altar, having convinced local Cheesemen to pool their efforts in accomplishing the feat. Scaled up from the dimensions of the classic Single Gloucester, not only in Thickness, but actually octupled in all dimensions, making it more like a 512- fold or Quincentenariduodecimal Gloucester,-- running to nearly four tons in weight when green, and even after shrinkage towering ten feet high by the time it emerged from the giant Shed built at the outskirts of town especially for this unprecedented Caseifaction,-- the extraordinary Cheese, as it slowly aged, had already provided material for months of public Rumor. In recent days, trying to contain their impatience, crowds had begun to gather outside the shed entrance, as if a royal birth were imminent. When the Cheese was at last carefully rolled into publick View, those who were there remember a collective gasp, a beat of silence, then, "Well,-- I knew it was going to be _big_, but--" . . . "How ever are they going to get it up to the Church?" . . . "Wonder what it tastes like?" Traditionally, the cheeses to be blessed and ritually rolled thrice 'round the churchyard, and thence down a Hill, ordinary- sized Double Gloucesters, were carried to the site in wheeled litters of some antiquity, though such clearly, for this Behemoth, would not do. Someone finally located a gigantic Cotswold Waggon, painted brick red and sky blue, as were the spokes and rims, respectively, of its wheels. The Cheese, an equally vivid orange- yellow, had then to be carefully rolled off a kind of dock and on into the bed of the Waggon, where, like some dangerous large animal, it was secured with stout Cables in an erect position. As the sides of the Waggon were of spindles and not planks, the Cheese was visible to onlookers in its full Circumference. The progress to Randwick Church was a Spectacle long to be remembered. Neighbor folk of all conditions lined the route, at first, as the great Cheese swayed and loomed into view, silently in awe,-- then, presently, as if strangely calmed by the Beams of a Luminary rising anew above each dip in the road, calling out to the Cheese and its conveyors, calls which after not too long became huzzahs and even Hosannas. Drinkers tumbled out of the alehouses and toasted the majestic food product as it passed-- "Let's have three cheers for the Great Octuple, lads!" Girls blew Kisses. Local youths from time to time would spring aboard, to help steady the cargo when the road- surface became difficult, able to tell one day of how they had escorted the great Cheese upon its journey, that famous first of May. The Vicar had decided for reasons of safety to roll nothing greater than a Double Gloucester down the Hill,-- yet as if ordain'd by some invariance in the Day's Angular Momentum, the Drag- Shoe on one side of the Octuple's Waggon broke away, causing the conveyance to slew, and slip down the side of a Hummock, and at last tip over, launching the Cheese into the Air, just before the Waggon (its Catapult) fell over with a great creak and jangle, Wheels a- spin, as meanwhile the enormous Cheese was hitting the Slope perfectly vertical,-- bouncing once, startlingly orange against the green hillside, and beginning to roll, gathering speed. The first peripheral impression Mason had of it was of course a star- gazer's-- thinking, Why, the Moon isn't suppos'd to be out, nor full, nor quite this bright shade of yellow, nor for that matter to be growing in size this way,-- about then smoaking belatedly where he was, and what was about to happen. "Ahr! Mercy!" He threw his arms in front of his Face and succumb'd before the cylindrickal Onslaught, with a peculiar Horror at having been singl'd out for Misadventure . . . _The victim of a Cheese malevolent_, being his last thought before toppling upon his face, grass up his Nose, hearing thro' his Belly the homicidal Ponderosity roll by without the interruption of a flatten'd Mason to divert it from its Destiny. Thomas Pynchon, _Mason & Dixon_ This was just cheesy. GET IT? CHEESY? GET IT? *slinks off* Blessad are the cheesemakers. *Cheese*makers, see? Like *peace*makers but different. LOL? *puts gun in mouth* Turning a little Swiss on us? Watch it, or I'll turn the little Swiss who invented the cuckoo-clock on you. Who wazzit? Euler? -- smeeter 11 or maybe 12 mp 10 mhm 29x13 Indeed, Children, this is the part of the Tale where your old Uncle gets to go insane. _Mason & Dixon_ -----= Posted via Newsfeeds.Com, Uncensored Usenet News =----- http://www.newsfeeds.com - The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World! -----== Over 100,000 Newsgroups - 19 Different Servers! =----- |
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