OT- Osama bin Laden is dead!

Stuf4 wrote:
From Fevric J. Glandules:

Pat Flannery wrote:
On 5/2/2011 2:31 PM, Brian Thorn wrote:

Pakistan has some serious 'splaining to do to the world community, and
they'd better do it fast because it is now abundantly clear that
they've sided with the terrorists.

It may be that parts of the government have, and other parts haven't.

"The terrorists" is a massive over-simplification for that part of
the world. *Lots of different groups.

Since this is a history forum, it could help to highlight key points
that Americans typically overlook:

- the original Al-Qaeda training manual was written in the United
States by a US Army Special Ops instructor.

- Osama bin Laden and his gang were originally trained and equipped
with US taxpayer money. *To the tune of multi-billions of US taxpayer
money.

- We've had a US President who called OBL's gang "freedom fighters".
There was a time, not all that long ago, when the US of A was an
ardent supporter of Islamic Jihad.

- Through the past seven administrations, spanning several decades, it
has been officially illegal for the US government to take part in
assassinations, including the one carried out this Sunday. *The very
President who signed Executive Order 12333 in 1981 ordered the killing
of Libya's head of state in April '86. *(Same Pres who supplied the
Islamic Jihad with billions in arms and training, above). *Then last
April, the current President ordered the assassination of a US
citizen.

- Sunday, Americans celebrate the event of an unarmed leader being
shot in the head.

Remind me who the terrorists are again?

....and all that did not even mention any of the foreign embassies we
have bombed through official US govt ordered action.
A French embassy here, a Chinese embassy there. If they do it to us,
it's terrorism. If we do it, we can excuse it as "an accident".

Anyone who knows how the process of military targeting works, and how
intricate the planning of ballistic trajectories in PGMs are
calculated and carried out knows that the locations of embassies are
well known and easily avoided. If you don't want to bomb them, that
is.

So yeah, "terrorism" is a nice convenient blanket synonym for "bad
guys". But what has really happened is that the nature of warfare
since the latter part of the 20th century has shifted. Shifted from
the fighting of government militaries toward the fighting of NGOs.
Using tactics that have been developed as a matter of necessity
whenever the extremely weak want to show acts of defiance against the
extremely strong.

And the astute historian will identify today's "terrorism" as another
case of history repeating itself. Wind the clock back to the 18th
century... The British Empire was extremely strong. People like
George Washington wanted to exert defiance over that overwhelming
military might, so he and his gang decided to use the most effective
tactics they knew of. Did they fight the Redcoats column v column?
No. They wore camouflage, hid behind rocks and sniped away.

Remember when GW Bush called the 9-11 perpetrators "cowards"? Well
it's not too hard to imagine that other King George griping about how
cowardly his upstart colonials had become.

Now show me a US history textbook that identifies George Washington as
a terrorst. Show me a single one. Can't? Oh, it's the victors who
get to write them? Ok. Can we imagine a future ...2070, perhaps...
where Islam triumphs in this current struggle (Jihad)? What would
those schoolkids get taught in their history classes? Lessee...

We can imagine that there'll be a page discussing the US Empire that
stretched all the way west to the Philippines (following the page that
had discussed the British Empire). And that page will have a
prominent photo of esteemed President Ronald Reagan where he praises
the Mujahideen (People doing the Jihad/Struggle) as Freedom Fighters.
It will have a photo of young Osama bin Laden as one of those CIA-
trained Mujahideen.

It will then have a paragraph explaining the strange twist of history
where OBL decided to turn against the USofA, citing in a boxed quote
directly from one of his Fatwas. It will then shock those young kids
with the story of how OBL was assassinated, as brutally as US kids
today view JFK's assassination. Cold-blooded murder.

Now if we really stretch our imaginations, we might be able to
envision some strange future where the USA, still economically strong,
sends a gift to the triumphant Islamic world. A statue, perhaps, that
get raised in Mecca or Medina. A very tall statue, that becomes a
prominent icon for all Muslims. It could be a statue like that statue
that was gifted to George Washington's triumphant Republic, which
against all odds defeated the British Empire, the first in a string of
defeats where ultimately colonialism itself was defeated.

The Statue of Liberty was a gift from the French, without who's money
and arms George Washington would surely have been tried and hanged.
Hanged with a sign hanging around his neck that read: "Not a model
British Subject, signed Rex Geo iii."

Today Ronald Reagan is an icon of freedom in America. That statue-
gift could be a statue of Reagan himself. "The man who created Osama
Bin Laden." But they wouldn't call it the Statue of Reagan. They'd
want to make it perfectly clear that it is not a monument to the man,
but rather it was a monument to the ideal he upheld. Now we might
guess that it would be called the Statue of Freedom, but that doesn't
have enough of an Islamic flavor to it. That statue of Reagan,
standing taller than a football field is long, would be known as...

"The Statue of Jihad"

And somewhere at his feet, next to the obligatory "Praise Allah"
banner, there would be an explanation that the God who Reagan
worshiped and the God of Islam is actually one and the same dude.
Allah is the God of Abraham. Isaac was Ishmael's brother. Jacob
(Israel) was Ishmael's nephew. 'Uncle Ish', as he was fondly known,
would send young Israel presents for his birthday. One year Jacob got
a black goat when what he really wanted was a white goat, and the
rest, as they say, is history...

(Historians today are mistaken. The Great Rift wasn't over the
foreskin issue. It was about the goat.)

Well all that's been fixed now because the triumph of Islam has
restored peace to the Middle East. Peace to the whole world. Islam
is a religion of peace. 'Jihad' only means Struggle. And the highest
struggle is the struggle for a human being to walk with God, as Abram
did. He is the one who showed us the way. Folks like Jesus and
Muhammad came much later to remind us of that way. The freakin Koran
mentions Jesus more often than it mentions Muhammad.

Does that keep any Christians from killing Muslims today? Naw. But
in 2070 it does. Because Islam now controls the world, in the way
that the US controlled the world for a whole century before its fall.

Israel's and Ishmael's decendants finally live in harmony. There's
the Reagan Statue, and over in Jerusalem there's a small statue. It's
a statue of a white goat. Everyone's happy. Finally.


BULL****. right. There's absolutely no way this crazy alternate
history could ever come to pass. Every American would die before
they's let that happen. And if it looked like it might happen,
Americans love their country so much that they'd even kill themselves
for the cause. As much as the Japanese kamikaze-divine-wind pilots
loved their country. As much as the German Nazionals loved their
fatherland. As much as the Jihad freedom fighters love their land
today.

Anyone who is desperate enough will resort to whatever tactics it
takes to get the job done. Whether you're George Washington in
violation of your oath to the King, or Barack Obama in violation of
Executive Order 12333.

Ok, certainly everyone will reject the alternative history above. We
are too tied to our own version of how we want the future to unfold.
And so long as we are unwilling to loosen our grip for a single
millisecond ...a brief momentary pause that might give us a shimmer of
a perspective on how someone else might see the world... there will
NEVER be peace on earth.

That's been known for centuries. It has been our history for year
after year, decade after decade, century after century, millennium
after millennium. Why change now?

Consider this version history...

Abram, the ancestor of so many of us today, was so dedicated to living
a pure life that he was willing to kill his only legitimate child. He
puts that young baby on an altar, raises his knife ...then while his
arms are still raised, with a tear in his eye, he drops his knife,
clenches his hands into fists, shakes them and yells, "**** you,
God!" "I LOVE my son and I will not kill him." Just then an angel
appears and says, "Abram, you've been a good man. You've lived a good
life. I know you love your son. God loves your son. But if you
don't kill him now, the world will become completely, irreversibly
messed up."

Abram returns with his beloved boy. He's riddled with guilt, so he
twists the story and blames the Angel for stopping the Assassination
of Isaac.


~ CT

On May 6, 3:13*pm, Stuf4 wrote:
Allah is the God of Abraham. *Isaac was Ishmael's brother. *Jacob
(Israel) was Ishmael's nephew. *'Uncle Ish', as he was fondly known,
would send young Israel presents for his birthday. *One year Jacob got
a black goat when what he really wanted was a white goat, and the
rest, as they say, is history...

(Historians today are mistaken. *The Great Rift wasn't over the
foreskin issue. *It was about the goat.)

The foreskin and goat versions are offered tongue-in-cheek, of
course. If an historian delves into the factual basis for the rift
between Arab and Jew (which spawned Christians), they might find that
the actual sticking point was the calendar. The problem of how to
mark the passing of days from week to week, month to month, year to
year. This of course has most significance in determining when to
celebrate your holidays - your holy-days, whether that be the Sabbath
or the annual ones. The fundamental problem with the calendar is that
days do not fit perfectly into a lunar cycle. And neither days nor
months (moonths, if you will) do not fit perfectly into the annual
cycle of seasons.

Smart people were put to task. The smartest minds of the day. Do we
track time by looking up at the Moon and using that as our universal
marker for what a month is? Surely it is divine that we do so. No
argument there. The sticking point was how to make that moonth fit
into the year. Now here's where the 'Great Council', we'll call them,
divided into two camps. Solid arguments were put forth on both sides:

Camp 1: The divine number is 12. Each year must have 12 moonths.
That is the way God intends it.

Camp 2: But what of the seasons? If we have 12 moonths in a year,
every year, then the stars will not be happy. God will not be happy,
because this year his holy days will not fit the star patterns for
next year's holy days. It is blasphemy to have a "walking calendar".
Yes, God intends us to have the Moon mark each month. But we must
stick in an extra month every now and then to keep the stars happy.
To keep God happy.

Camp 1's rebuttal is that the seasons don't matter. "We live at low
latitude where the desert sands do not care so much about the stars.
God is worshipped in the perfection of 12, not the blashpemy of the
13. 13 is the number of Satan. NO, we CANNOT have a calendar that
worships Satan."

And so it was...

Camp 1 formed around the symbol of the Crescent Moon. They called
themselves The Perfection Of The Holy Twelve.
Camp 2 formed around the symbol of two overlapped equilateral
triangles, of which there are 12 sections around its perimeter, but a
13th section in its middle. They called themselves, ironically, The
Perfection Of The Imperfection. They recognized that God's divine
plan was for there to be a somewhat perfect 12 that was slightly off,
requiring the role of the Devil to keep things interesting.

Today those symbols persist as the Holy Crescent of Allah (which gives
lip service to the star). And the Star of David. Both symbols of how
God wants us ignorant humans to mark time.


What is so sad about this story? BOTH camps have lost. While the
Arabs said, "Stars, we love you but we must follow the Moon", and the
Jews said, "Perfection, we love you but we must have the Moon married
to the Sun", a THIRD camp came along. A camp with much more
intelligent minds. Scientists who knew about orbits. Who knew the
heavens like they owned the place.

Camp 3 said: We are a Patriarchal society. We care not of women. We
care only of men. Mother Moon means nothing to us. It is the Son
whom we worship, not the mother who gave birth to him. We live at
such a northerly latitude that we must rigorously follow the seasons.
Our calendar must be fixed to the equinox and to the solstice
solstice. It is the death of that Sun that will mark the end of our
year. We will call that festival "Christmas". And it is the birth of
our Sun, when day first overtakes the night, that will mark the end of
beginning of our year. We will call that festival "Easter". Look to
the East an the Son will rise, conquering death. The wise know that
death is the birth of a new life. All is cyclical. The nine months
between Easter and Christmas is the gestation of the Sun, preparing
for the birth of the next year.

And so it was that the Pope decreed that Mother Moon be ignored, as it
is said that Hagar was banished to the wilderness. As it is said that
Sarai died of heartbreak upon hearing of the Assassination of Isaac,
her only son. "The woman's place is in the kitchen!" Both Caesar and
Gregory are agreed on this. "The Moon's place is to walk ten paces
behind the Sun." And so it was that the Moon was banished. Banished
forever to walk out of step with the Sun.

The world operates not on the calendar of Camp 1 or Camp 2. It
operates on the calendar of Pope Gregory. The calendar of Julius
Caesar before him. It operates on the calendar of the son of God. We
are a planet who worships Jesus. Anyone who says otherwise will be
executed. You follow Jacob's camp? You follow Muhammad's camp? You
must conform or die. And we care so little for Sidhartha's camp or
the other camps that we won't even discuss them. But of course, they
must conform or die as well. You will be ritually sacrificed as
surely as the Mayans and the Aztecs killed each other over opposing
views about the One True Divine Calendar.

I wish y'all a happy 2012. Let's all celebrate with ritual sacrifice
of killing our fellow humans. Naw, that seems a little primitive.
Let's celebrate by killing and eating animals. They won't complain.
They have no concept of God like we civilized homo-sapiens do. Yeah,
let's commit ourselves toward becoming a civilized race. We'll
promise to stop slaughtering each other about silly matters like the
calendar, about silly matters like circumcision. We'll show our
divine humanitarian nature by slaughtering cows and goats instead,
regardless of whether or not any minority culture upholds such beasts
as sacred. They are far to yummy for us not to.

Yeah, that's the path to the salvation of humanity. Stop slaughtering
"innocent" human beings, but continue to slaughter the animals for our
own pleasure. If there's one thing that Camp 1, Camp 2 and Camp 3 can
agree on, it is that all of those beasts are guilty as charged. No,
wait. An animal is neither guilty nor innocent. The lamb's skin is a
silly icon of purity, because the lamb cannot reason. The lamb cares
not whether Saturday or Sunday is the proper Sabbath. It will get its
rest when we choose the proper time.

It will get its rest when we kill it. And to absolve any feelings of
guilt for having done so, we'll come down from that alter where God
had told us to spare it's life. Where that inner voice inside each of
us leaves us with that puzzling feeling in our heart, while our
stomachs are so satiated.

What did that lamb ever do to hurt me? Why did that goat deserve to
die?

Camps 1, 2 & 3 will praise their efforts for seeking and finding their
own path to walk the divine walk that is our earthly existence. We
fear our own death while caring not for anyone else's. At least not
if they were not a member of our own camp. Lesser still if they were
not a member of our own race. Lesser yet still if they were not a
member of our own species.

You will die. I will laugh. I will take another bite. I will laugh
some more.

Take that, Osama bin Laden. You are not absolved for your guilt
because you killed in the name of the innocent. They were YOUR
innocent. Not mine. I will not even ponder my own guilt as I savor
another bite. You, Osama, are guilty. You're guilty of killing my
innocent. You are guilty of praising the wrong god. You're guilty of
marking your days by the wrong calendar. And the biggest thing you're
guilty of? You not only slaughtered that goat that was supposed to be
given as a peace offering that would have ended all this human
"barbarity" of Jews and Arabs killing each other for millennia... You
slaughtered that goat and you ate its flesh.

Don't you know that it was a Holy Goat? What did that goat ever do to
you? You are a barbarian. WE, however... We the People. We are
morally superior to you. We use a superior calendar. We hone the
ends of our penises in a superior manner. We've even visited that
Moon that you fixed your profane days to. We sent twelve of our
disciples to walk her face. Her face you thought that was so
beautiful. Well they found nothing. She is not beautiful. Her face
is cratered.

You praised a fool's calendar and a fool's god. We are above you.
And we will continue to conquer all those beneath us until they
conform to our ways. Our righteous ways. Our divinely inspired ways.

God Bless America.

Now pass the rack of lamb. I'm hungry.


~ CT