WHAT WILL THEY THINK OF NEXT?

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TRUE CONFESSION
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VATICAN CITY (Rueters) -- The
Catholic Church has finally entered into
the Computer Age with a new "fast track"
method of confessing your sins.

Beginning Feb. 14 -- coincidentally
the Feast of St. Valentine -- sinners can
cleanse their soul swiftly via Hotmail.

"We realized it will save time, money
and trouble for folks who live a distance
from church," said Father Guido Sarducci,
a Brooklyn boy now a spokesman for the
Vatican.

Sarducci said both mortal and venial
sins can be removed in no time at all
and indicated with a show of hands just
how big the mortal sins can be.

http://www.fathersarducci.com/images/sarduccioval.gif

There is no limit to the sins you can
confess and, even when you admit
the worse ones, you'll never receive
a reply, "HOLY ****!"

The Vatican's Confessional Reform
Act has met with favorable reaction
worldwide.

Ed Conrad, a hardcore sinner from
Mahanoy City, Pa., praised the church
for getting its head out of the sand and
into the Computer Age.

Charles Manson, who lives in Corcoran,
Calif, called it it the "best thing that
could possibly happen, with the possible
exception of finding a file in your gift
Apple Pie."

As of Feb. 14, confessions will be
accepted via hotmail from 7 a.m.
to 4 p.m. Vatican time (except Sundays,
its Day of Rest).

The hotmail address for Confession
Express is

In another breakthrough, the Vatican
announced that, instead of the Age-Old
practice of dealing out penances -- like,
say, three Hail Marys and three Our
Fathers -- sinners will be required to read
the following blogs.

However, if yo were really bad -- you'd be
required to read them two or three times
-- up 'til 10 -- then pass a brief quiz about
what you've learned.

http://www.edconrad.org

If you were really, REALLY bad, you may
be required to read the following articles
by Ed Conrad a few times as well.

Some who've had to do so have said
it's a punishment worse than hell.

http://groups.google.com/group/alt.f...2305f02e955b66

http://www.edconrad.com

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