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Funny story about the sun needed..



 
 
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  #1  
Old October 12th 04, 10:26 PM
MarsFossils
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Default Funny story about the sun needed..

Hello,

I am giving a lunch-and-learn about the sun this Thursday and would
like, as part of my presentation, to tell a funny story about the sun.
Jokes about solar magnetism or nuclear fusion or neutrino studies or
funny solar science history anecdotes would work too. If anybody
could post any any stories of this kind, they would be very much
appreciated. If you know a link to a good cartoon, post that. The
audience is mainly non-scientific although they probably already heard
the one about the not-too-swift solar-explorer-astronauts planning a
landing on the sun at night when it is dark and cool.

Thanks,

Michael
  #2  
Old October 13th 04, 12:30 PM
Eric Crew
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Default

In article ,
MarsFossils writes
Hello,

I am giving a lunch-and-learn about the sun this Thursday and would
like, as part of my presentation, to tell a funny story about the sun.
Jokes about solar magnetism or nuclear fusion or neutrino studies or
funny solar science history anecdotes would work too. If anybody
could post any any stories of this kind, they would be very much
appreciated. If you know a link to a good cartoon, post that. The
audience is mainly non-scientific although they probably already heard
the one about the not-too-swift solar-explorer-astronauts planning a
landing on the sun at night when it is dark and cool.

Thanks,

Michael


One funny story is that many astronomers think there is some kind of
dynamo inside the Sun which produces magnetic fields so powerful that
they can expel billions of tonnes of matter into space and have field
lines (!) that can stretch, twist and break with explosive force. The
"lines" are an imaginary math concept which Faraday proposed to indicate
the strength and direction of the magnetic field. Fortunately the
"magnetic lines" in our large rotating electrical machinery do not
behave in this peculiar fashion.
If you would like to mention a more rational explanation of solar
characteristics see
http:www.brox1.demon.co.uk/sun2.htm
and/or (illustrated)
http:/www.brox1.demon.co.uk/solar/Solarphysics.htm

I hope you have a good lunch and an appreciative audience.
--
Eric Crew
  #3  
Old October 13th 04, 03:55 PM
Eric Crew
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Posts: n/a
Default

In article , Eric Crew
writes
In article ,
MarsFossils writes
Hello,

I am giving a lunch-and-learn about the sun this Thursday and would
like, as part of my presentation, to tell a funny story about the sun.
Jokes about solar magnetism or nuclear fusion or neutrino studies or
funny solar science history anecdotes would work too. If anybody
could post any any stories of this kind, they would be very much
appreciated. If you know a link to a good cartoon, post that. The
audience is mainly non-scientific although they probably already heard
the one about the not-too-swift solar-explorer-astronauts planning a
landing on the sun at night when it is dark and cool.

Thanks,

Michael


One funny story is that many astronomers think there is some kind of
dynamo inside the Sun which produces magnetic fields so powerful that
they can expel billions of tonnes of matter into space and have field
lines (!) that can stretch, twist and break with explosive force. The
"lines" are an imaginary math concept which Faraday proposed to
indicate the strength and direction of the magnetic field. Fortunately
the "magnetic lines" in our large rotating electrical machinery do not
behave in this peculiar fashion.
If you would like to mention a more rational explanation of solar
characteristics see
http:www.brox1.demon.co.uk/sun2.htm
and/or (illustrated)
http:/www.brox1.demon.co.uk/solar/Solarphysics.htm

I hope you have a good lunch and an appreciative audience.


Sorry - the refs should be:

http://www.brox1.demon.co.uk/sun2.htm
and
http://www.brox1.demon.co.uk/solar/Solarphysics.htm
--
Eric Crew
  #4  
Old October 13th 04, 07:28 PM
Joachim Verhagen
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Posts: n/a
Default

On 12 Oct 2004 14:26:29 -0700, (MarsFossils) wrote:

Hello,

I am giving a lunch-and-learn about the sun this Thursday and would
like, as part of my presentation, to tell a funny story about the sun.
Jokes about solar magnetism or nuclear fusion or neutrino studies or
funny solar science history anecdotes would work too. If anybody
could post any any stories of this kind, they would be very much
appreciated. If you know a link to a good cartoon, post that. The
audience is mainly non-scientific although they probably already heard
the one about the not-too-swift solar-explorer-astronauts planning a
landing on the sun at night when it is dark and cool.

Thanks,

Michael


Not all these jokes are high quality. See if you can use anything.

Joachim.
P_________________________________________________ _________________________
From: Alec Muzzy )

A great song by THEY MIGHT BE GIANTS, entitled "Why Does The Sun Shine?" and
can be found on a PBS recording "Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego".
Some of the song goes as follows.

The Sun is a mass of incandescent gas
A gigantic nuclear furnace
Where hydrogen is turned into helium
at a temperature of millions of degrees.

Whoa-ho its hot,
the sun is not
a place for you and me.
but without its light
to shine on us,
there'd be no you and me.

Actually it was written by someone other than TMBG, but its still funny.

From: Andrew C. Plotkin )

From a children's education album. (LP record album, from the early
70's.) And it wasn't intended to be funny; it was educational.

P_________________________________________________ _________________________
From: "alohacyberian"
Living on Earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip
around the Sun.
P_________________________________________________ _________________________
From:
(Craig Berry)

A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Gimme a Mexican beer."
Instead of handing him a beer, though, the bartender starts shouting "Okay,
everybody out! Right now! Out you go!" and herds everyone out into the
street. The solar physicist shakes his head sadly. "Dang," he remarks,
"should've seen that Corona mass ejection coming."
P_________________________________________________ _________________________
From: Michael Dworetsky
Two astrophysicists are discussing their research in a bar one evening
when a drunk who has been sitting and listening in at the next seat
turns and says, in a very worried voice, "What was that you just
said!!??"

"We were discussion stellar evolution, and I said to my colleague here
that the Sun would run out of nuclear fuel and turn into a red giant
star in about 5 billion years, possibly melting the Earth."

"Whew!!," says the drunk, "You really had me worried. I thought you
said 5 million."
2
P_________________________________________________ _________________________
From:
retni (Patrick Di Justo)

Oh, that's too easy. This solar physicist walks into a bar and says
the the bartender, "I'd prefer a cold Corona."
P_________________________________________________ _________________________
From: Rob Z.
Q: How far can you see on a clear day?
A: 93 Million miles...From here to the Sun.
P_________________________________________________ _________________________
From: Ian Ellis
Janet Reid was driving her daughter westward after the Malibu fires when
the smoke in the sky made everything look surreal.

"Ooh, Wendy, look at the sun," she told her daughter. "It looks like a big
ball of fire."

The 3-year-old preschooler replied: "It is a big ball of fire."

-- from Los Angeles Times, Jan 13, 1997
P_________________________________________________ _________________________
From:
(Michael A. Stueben)

Question: What is more useful: the sun or the moon?

Answer: The moon, because the moon shines at night when
you want the light, whereas the sun shines
during the day when you don't need it.
P_________________________________________________ _________________________
From: "Joăo Batista"
(translated Portuguese to english; sorry about any mistakes/incorrections!)
EXPLANATION OF A SUN ECLIPSE GIVEN AT A BARRACKS

CAPTAIN TO SERGEANT:
Tomorrow there will be a sun eclipse, so I have resolved that the company
will be at the drill field in campaign uniform, where I will give
explanations about the phenomenon, which does not happens every day. If it
rains, though, the company will remain in quarters.

SERGEANT TO CORPORAL:
By orders of our captain, there will be a sun eclipse tomorrow in campaign
uniform. The whole company must be present at the drill field, where our
captain will give explanations about the phenomenon inside the quarters,
which doesn't happen every day if it rains.

CORPORAL TO PRIVATES:
Tomorrow, there'll be a sun eclipse, which will give the necessary
explanations about our captain. The phenomenon will go out in campaign
uniform to the drill field, except if it rains in the quarters, which
doesn't happen every day.

PRIVATE TO RECRUIT:
We'll go out tomorrow to a campaign in a sun eclipse that our captain's
phenomenon fixed up to rain uniforms in the drill field. If it rains,
though, the company will give explanations in quarters, which doesn't happen
every day.

RECRUIT TO FAMILY:
Tomorrow will rain a sun eclipse in quarters, which our captain gave the
company so the drill phenomenon will go to the uniform campaign. If it rains
in the uniforms, which doesn't happen every day, we'll have to take the
eclipse inside quarters.
P_________________________________________________ _________________________
From: "Fco. Javier"
Why Ms. moon has left Mr. sun?

answer.. Because he never wants to go out by the night with her..
P_________________________________________________ _________________________
A Day Without Fusion Is Like A Day Without Sunshine.
Living On Earth May Be Expensive, But It Includes A Free Annual Trip Around
the Sun.



--
This post is free post; you can redistribute it and/or
modify it under the terms of the GNU General Public License
as published by the Free Software Foundation; either version 2
of the License, or (at your option) any later version.

Joachim Verhagen )
WWW
http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/ (Science Jokes)
  #5  
Old October 13th 04, 10:36 PM
MarsFossils
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Default

Hi Eric,

I read with much interest your page proposing an electrical rather
than magnetic origin for "such as sunspots, magnetic fields, flares,
prominences, periodic variations, neutrinos, the apparent high
temperature of the corona and the influences on Earth's climate" --
neutrinos no less...

http://www.brox1.demon.co.uk/solar/Solarphysics.htm


Your L. Körtvelyéssy writes "The heat of fusion in the solar core
causes its atomic particles to attain high velocities, so that there
is a continuous current flow along the temperature gradient from core
to surface. Electrons are predominant in this flow as they have well
over 1000 times less mass than a proton. This gives the surface of the
Sun a layer of negative charge and the core an increasing positive
charge. A continuous solar wind is ejected from the surface and
periodically the positive charge on the core exceeds the breakdown
value, causing planet-sized pieces to break away and be expelled
towards the surface. "

How does he or you explain the magnetograms showing strong north and
south, or positive and negative magnetic fields inside of and around
sunspots? I don't see how rejecting magnetism eliminates more
problems than it solves.

Michael

I heard one funny story though -- though not about the sun.
Question: What's the easiest way to observe Doppler's effect optically
(not accoustically) in one's everyday life ?
Answer: Go out in the evening and look at the cars. Their lights are
white or yellow when they approach, but they are red when they are
moving away of you.
(from Andrzej Kudlicki)
  #6  
Old October 14th 04, 09:00 PM
George Dishman
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Posts: n/a
Default


"MarsFossils" wrote in message
om...
Hi Eric,

I read with much interest your page proposing an electrical rather
than magnetic origin for "such as sunspots, magnetic fields, flares,
prominences, periodic variations, neutrinos, the apparent high
temperature of the corona and the influences on Earth's climate" --
neutrinos no less...

http://www.brox1.demon.co.uk/solar/Solarphysics.htm


Your L. Körtvelyéssy writes "... A continuous solar wind is
ejected from the surface ... "


Note that in the book, this is further emphasised.
According to Körtvelyéssy the solar wind carries
away electrons from the surface in vastly greater
numbers than the more massive positively charged
ions. The result is a net current of -10^14A leaving
the Sun continuously (Fig I.4, page 21).

The surface of the Sun is a conductive plasma so we
can model it as an isolated conductive sphe

http://hyperphysics.phy-astr.gsu.edu...capsph.html#c2

For a radius of 6.96e8m, the capacitance of the Sun
is 0.077 Farad. The potential would therefore rise
at 12.9 V/s per Amp or over 10^15 Volts per second.

Körtvelyéssy claims the electrons are emitted at
750km/s and I'll leave the interested reader to
calculate how long it would take to build up
sufficient field outside the Sun to stop the flow.

Since the current is a flow of electrons, the Sun
is of course positively charged. However, in chapter
2.02 and 2.03, he describes how the _negatively_
charged Sun attracts _positively_ charged cosmic
rays "from lightweeks away".

A similar problem applies to the model of the core
and surface which he claims aree separated by an
_insulating_ plasma so would behave as a spherical
capacitor:

http://hyperphysics.phy-astr.gsu.edu...ic/capsph.html

The book is beautifully produced and I must thank
Dr Körtvelyéssy for the copy, but I'm afraid that
the electrostatics it contains is badly flawed.

George


  #7  
Old October 14th 04, 09:41 PM
OG
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Posts: n/a
Default


"George Dishman" wrote in message
...


The surface of the Sun is a conductive plasma so we
can model it as an isolated conductive sphe

http://hyperphysics.phy-astr.gsu.edu...capsph.html#c2

For a radius of 6.96e8m, the capacitance of the Sun
is 0.077 Farad. The potential would therefore rise
at 12.9 V/s per Amp or over 10^15 Volts per second.

Körtvelyéssy claims the electrons are emitted at
750km/s and I'll leave the interested reader to
calculate how long it would take to build up
sufficient field outside the Sun to stop the flow.

Since the current is a flow of electrons, the Sun
is of course positively charged. However, in chapter
2.02 and 2.03, he describes how the _negatively_
charged Sun attracts _positively_ charged cosmic
rays "from lightweeks away".


This is one of his common problems. I "think" he would explain it in
this way. . .

"The electrons thrown out from the Sun are nearer to the _positively_
charged cosmic rays so it stands to reason that they would be attracted
towards the sun."

It's comparable to his claim that I paraphrase 'thermal electrons
leaving the sun's core are repelled further by the electrons behind
them".

The core of the claim is that since electrons are 1800 times lighter
than protons they are able to go much faster and can escape. The fact
that their motion is 1800 times more affected by any force is ignored.

Oh, I almost forgot; there's a claim that I just couldn't make any sense
of which seemed to say that "the positive charge on a hydrogen ion takes
longer to be neutralised in recombination than the negative charge on
the electron".

A wonderful site.


  #8  
Old October 15th 04, 02:56 PM
Eric Crew
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

In article , George Dishman
writes

"MarsFossils" wrote in message
. com...
Hi Eric,

I read with much interest your page proposing an electrical rather
than magnetic origin for "such as sunspots, magnetic fields, flares,
prominences, periodic variations, neutrinos, the apparent high
temperature of the corona and the influences on Earth's climate" --
neutrinos no less...

http://www.brox1.demon.co.uk/solar/Solarphysics.htm


Your L. Körtvelyéssy writes "... A continuous solar wind is
ejected from the surface ... "


Note that in the book, this is further emphasised.
According to Körtvelyéssy the solar wind carries
away electrons from the surface in vastly greater
numbers than the more massive positively charged
ions. The result is a net current of -10^14A leaving
the Sun continuously (Fig I.4, page 21).

The surface of the Sun is a conductive plasma so we
can model it as an isolated conductive sphe

http://hyperphysics.phy-astr.gsu.edu...capsph.html#c2

For a radius of 6.96e8m, the capacitance of the Sun
is 0.077 Farad. The potential would therefore rise
at 12.9 V/s per Amp or over 10^15 Volts per second.

Körtvelyéssy claims the electrons are emitted at
750km/s and I'll leave the interested reader to
calculate how long it would take to build up
sufficient field outside the Sun to stop the flow.

Since the current is a flow of electrons, the Sun
is of course positively charged. However, in chapter
2.02 and 2.03, he describes how the _negatively_
charged Sun attracts _positively_ charged cosmic
rays "from lightweeks away".

A similar problem applies to the model of the core
and surface which he claims aree separated by an
_insulating_ plasma so would behave as a spherical
capacitor:

http://hyperphysics.phy-astr.gsu.edu...ic/capsph.html

The book is beautifully produced and I must thank
Dr Körtvelyéssy for the copy, but I'm afraid that
the electrostatics it contains is badly flawed.

George


Dear George

We have discussed this at length before and it seems to me that your
calculations do not account for the increasing number of observations
about the occurrence of electrical discharge jets in astronomy. This
indicates that your analysis must be much too simple. You did not
dispute that the 'generally accepted miraculous magnetism' theory cannot
explain the observations and you still criticise the 'electrical
discharge' theory published in refereed journals by C E R Bruce and
myself, which have been subsequently strongly supported by the work of
Körtvelyéssy. Are you still unable to suggest another theory which does
give a reasonable explanation for the evidence?
--
Eric Crew
  #9  
Old October 15th 04, 03:08 PM
Eric Crew
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

In article , OG
writes

"George Dishman" wrote in message
...


The surface of the Sun is a conductive plasma so we
can model it as an isolated conductive sphe

http://hyperphysics.phy-astr.gsu.edu...capsph.html#c2

For a radius of 6.96e8m, the capacitance of the Sun
is 0.077 Farad. The potential would therefore rise
at 12.9 V/s per Amp or over 10^15 Volts per second.

Körtvelyéssy claims the electrons are emitted at
750km/s and I'll leave the interested reader to
calculate how long it would take to build up
sufficient field outside the Sun to stop the flow.

Since the current is a flow of electrons, the Sun
is of course positively charged. However, in chapter
2.02 and 2.03, he describes how the _negatively_
charged Sun attracts _positively_ charged cosmic
rays "from lightweeks away".


This is one of his common problems. I "think" he would explain it in
this way. . .

"The electrons thrown out from the Sun are nearer to the _positively_
charged cosmic rays so it stands to reason that they would be attracted
towards the sun."

It's comparable to his claim that I paraphrase 'thermal electrons
leaving the sun's core are repelled further by the electrons behind
them".

The core of the claim is that since electrons are 1800 times lighter
than protons they are able to go much faster and can escape. The fact
that their motion is 1800 times more affected by any force is ignored.

Oh, I almost forgot; there's a claim that I just couldn't make any sense
of which seemed to say that "the positive charge on a hydrogen ion takes
longer to be neutralised in recombination than the negative charge on
the electron".

A wonderful site.


Glad you appreciate it!

I suggest you contact Laszlo Körtvelyéssy with your queries. His email
address is

Note that the observational evidence for electrical discharges in
astronomy has bee published in refereed journals by C E R Bruce and
myself.
--
Eric Crew
 




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