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GOD STILL UP TO HIS OLD TRICKS
============================= HOT OFF THE WIRE ============================= ELEPHANT ISLAND, Antarctica (Rueters) -- Ed Conrad's rendezvous with The Grim Reaper has been postponed. Ed, the world-famous fossil finder who was thisclose to death from frostbite and starvation, was rescued early this morning after the pilot of the Google Maps airplane spotted his almost lifeless body lying in the snow, landed on the ice field and rescued him "He was almost as stiff as a board but we woke him up, fed him some delicious tomato soup and flew him out of that God-forsaken place," said the pilot, who did not want to be identified. Back home in Mountain View, Ca., the pilot -- Francis "Crackers" McCool -- was saluted by Google top dog and co-founder Sergey Brin and rewarded with an all-expenses-paid two-week vacation to Disneyworld. Ed, who holds the Guinness Book of Records record for the discovery of the most petrified human remains between coal veins, had arrived alone on Elephant Island to search for the same kind of fossils he had found between anthracite veins in Pennsylvania. However, he screwed up royally when he decided to bury all of his food and provisions beneath the snow for safekeeping, then had his flag marker blow away because of the howling wind (85 MPH), not to mention temperatures of some 30 below zero. Consequently, Ed found himself up Sh*t Creek without a paddle -- that is, until God performed another of His miracles and made that map-making plane fly over. Actually, it was miracle with a capital M because it is pitch black 24 hours a day on Elephant Island at this time of year. Please note that the Collage of Cardinals' prayer vigil at The Vatican tonight for Ed's rescue -- or, if not, at least for the repose of his soul -- has been cancelled. ====================== If Ed had died a horrible death, he has just told Sean "Ins" Hannity of Fox News how he wanted to be be remembered. http://www.edconrad.com/pics/SaveTheWhale.jpg The pseudos, their interests so vested And Poor Truth, for too long molested. Their deceit and deception Near the point of perfection If it were my call, they'd ALL be arrested =============== http://groups.google.com/group/alt.f...2305f02e955b66 http://www.edconrad.com and http://www.edconrad.org |
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GOD STILL UP TO HIS OLD TRICKS
On 2/24/2013 11:00 AM, Preston Duquene wrote:
============================= HOT OFF THE WIRE ============================= ELEPHANT ISLAND, Antarctica (Rueters) -- Ed Conrad's rendezvous with The Grim Reaper has been postponed. Damned, after getting our hopes up. |
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