TOP UNIVERSITIES LINING UP TO ADMIT MAN AS OLD AS COAL

=============================
MORE BREAKING NEWS
=============================

UNIVERSITY PARK, PA. (Rueters)--
On the heels of Penn State University's
bombshell announcement Tuesday that
man indeed is as old as coal, other
major universities worldwide are
now jumping on the bandwagon.

"Ed Conrad is no crackpot, as we
have believed for decades, but a true
scientific genius in every sense of
the word," said a spokesman for the
Smithsonian.

"We now know for sure that the
theory of the evolution of man is
total bull**** and we're finally
letting our nostrils sniff the sweet
smell of Truth."

Here are a few major universities
that have scheduled press conferences
to announce that man -- and undoubtedly
a sizable number of women -- are as
old as coal.

They are listed in the order that
their announcement is expected to be
made over the next few days.

1 Harvard University USA
2 University of Oxford UK
3 University of Cambridge UK
4 Stanford University USA
5 Mass. Institute of Technology USA
6 University of California, Berkeley USA
7 California Institute of Technology USA
8 Princeton University USA
9 Yale University USA
10 University of Chicago USA
11 Columbia University USA
12 University of California, San Diego USA
13 Cornell University USA
14 University of California, Los Angeles USA
15 University Pennsylvania USA
16 University of Wisconsin, Madison USA
17 University of Washington, Seattle USA
18 Tokyo University Japan
19 Univ. of California, San Francisco USA
20 University of Michigan, Ann Arbor USA
21 Kyoto University Japan
22 Imperial College London UK
23 Johns Hopkins University USA
24 University of Toronto Canada
25 University College London UK
26 University of Illinois, Urbana USA
27 Swiss Federal Institute of Technology, Zurich Switzerland
28 Washington University, St. Louis USA
29 New York University USA
30 Duke University USA
31 University of Minnesota, Twin Cities USA
32 Northwestern University USA
33 Rockefeller University USA
34 University of Colorado, Boulder USA
35 Univ.of California, Santa Barbara USA
36 University of British Columbia Canada
37 University of Maryland, College Park USA
38 Utrecht University Netherlands
39 University of Texas, Austin USA
40 University of Texas SW Med Center USA
41 Penn State University, University Park
42 University of California, Davis USA
43 Vanderbilt University USA
44 University of California, Irvine USA
45 University of Paris 06 France
46 University of Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh USA
47 University of Southern California USA
48 Rutgers University, New Brunswick USA
49 University of Manchester UK
50 Karolinska Institute, Stockholm Sweden
51 University of Munich Germany
52 Technical University of Munich Germany
53 University of Florida USA
54 University of Edinburgh UK
55 Australian National University Australia
56 Carnegie Mellon University USA
57 University of Copenhagen Denmark
58 University of Zurich Switzerland
59 Hebrew University, Jerusalem Israel
60 Osaka University Japan
61 McGill University Canada
62 University of Bristol UK
63 University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill
64 Uppsala University Sweden
65 Ohio State University, Columbus USA
66 University of Paris 11 France
67 University of Sheffield UK
68 University of Heidelberg Germany
69 University of Oslo Norway
70 Case Western Reserve University USA
71 Moscow State University Russia
72 University of Leiden Netherlands
73 Purdue University, West Lafayette USA
74 University of Helsinki Finland
75 University of Rochester USA
76 University of Melbourne Australia
77 Tohoku University Japan
78 University of Nottingham UK
79 University of Arizona USA
80 Michigan State University USA
81 King's College London UK
82 Boston University USA
83 University of Basel Switzerland
84 Stockholm University Sweden
85 Brown University USA
86 University of Goettingen Germany
87 Rice University USA
88 Texas A&M Univ. College Station USA
89 Tokyo Institute of Technology Japan
90 University of Birmingham UK
91 University of Utah USA
92 University of Freiburg Germany
93 McMaster University Canada
94 Nagoya University Japan
95 University of Iowa USA
96 University of Strasbourg 1 France
97 Ecole Normale Super Paris France
98 Indiana University, Bloomington USA
99 Arizona State University, Tempe USA
100 University of Rome La Sapienza Italy

A representative from each of
the following pseudo-scientific
organizations also is expected to
be on hand for the ceremony to
apologize to Ed Conrad for giving
him a good screwing over the past
few decades.

They will then offer him an olive
branch and pay him many well-deserved
words of tribute.

American Anthropological Association
American Association of Physical Anthropologists
American Board of Forensic Anthropology
American Society of Primatologists
American Academy of Forensic Sciences
The British Academy
Institute of Human Origins
The Leakey Foundation
Palaeoanthropology Society
University Departments (Brainwashing101)
Department of Anthropology, University of Arizona
School of Human Evolution & Social Change (formerly Department of
Anthropology) Arizona State University
Anthropology at Berkeley, University of California, Berkeley
Department of Anthropology, University of California, Los Angeles
Anthropology at UCSD, University of California, San Diego
Department of Anthropology, University of California, Santa Barbara)
Department of Anthropology, University of Chicago
Department of Anthropology, Columbia University
Department of Anthropology, Cornell University
Ph.D. Program in Anthropology, CUNY
Department of Biological Anthropology and Anatomy, Duke University
Department of Anthropology, University of Florida
Department of Anthropology, Harvard University
Anthropology @ UIUC, University of Illinois
Anthropology Department, Indiana University
Department of Anthropology, Johns Hopkins University
Department of Anthropology, University of Michigan
Department of Anthropology, New York University
Department of Anthropology, University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill
Anthropology: at the University of Pennsylvania
Department of Anthropology, University of Pittsburgh
Department of Anthropology, Princeton University
Center for Human Evolutionary Studies (Rutgers University)
Department of Anthropological Sciences, Stanford Unversity
Department of Anthropology, University of Texas
Department of Anthropology, University of Virginia
Department of Anthropology, University of Washington
Department of Anthropology, University of Wisconsin, Madison

Archaeological Institute of America
Association for Feminist Anthropology
Association of Black Anthropologists
Association of Latina and Latino Anthropologists
Human Biology Association
Paleoanthropology Society
Society for American Archaeology
Society for Historical Archaeology
Society for Archaeological Sciences
Society for Applied Anthropology

UNITED STATES (REGIONAL)
Northeastern Anthropological Association
Eastern States Archaeological Federation
Council for Northeast Historical Archaeology
Archaeological Society of Connecticut
Maine Archaeological Society
Massachusetts Archaeological Society
New Hampshire Archeological Society
New York State Archaeological Association
Vermont Archaeological Society

INTERNATIONAL ANTHROPOLOGY ORGANIZATIONS
International Union of Anthropological and Ethnological Sciences
Canadian Sociology and Anthropology Association
Societe canadienne de sociologie et d'anthropologie
Canadian Archaeological Association
Canadian Anthropology Society
Royal Anthropological Institute (UK)
Association of Social Anthropologists of U.K. and the Commonwealth
European Association of Social Anthropologists
Association of Social Anthropologists of Aoteaora / NewZealand
Council for British Archaeology
Society for Industrial Archaeology
Society of Africanist Archaeologists

In return, Ed Conrad probably will
tell the former pseudo-scientists
he no longer will show their obscene
photographs on the Internet.

(MODERATOR'S WARNING: Make damn sure
your kiddies can't see the screen.)

http://www.edconrad.com/pics/SaveTheWhale.jpg

http://www.edconrad.com/pics/TightFit.jpg

Please note that, prior to the
start of all news conferences, neat
8x10 photos of Ed Conrad will be
handed out.

http://www.edconrad.com/pics/Dartboard.jpg

Those wishing to have them auto-
graphed should send the photo and
$35 to Ed Conrad c/o Penn State
(two for $65). This will include
the cost of return postage.

Oh, incidentally, this was the
bombshell story out of Penn
State on Tuesday.

https://groups.google.com/forum/#!to...ss/plHw9IQLAVQ