The Bull Shop ;-)

The Bull Shop ;-)

There was once a shop which was run by grandfather bull and his young
apprentice, his grandson.

As has become the habit of many businesses, the owner of the shop,
Grandpa Bull, discovered it best if he specialized, and just handled
those products he was the most familiar with--so this shop mostly did a
wholesale business with floral shops and stores which sold house and
yard plants, and some landscaping firms, but he did accept a little
walk-in retail trade.

His shop contained a good round dozen double rows of product, each a
good 90 paces long and twice as high as a man can reach. Storage, and
over stock, was placed above reach.

On one isle there were products (Ahum, um, 'bovine excrement') from
around the world, fertilizer from the islands and distant countries:
like Pineapple Brand from Hawaii, Rich Dark Tropical from Africa and
Essence of Jungle from Brazil.

On another isle there were various products arranged by point of
Original Origin (if you see what I mean): Angus, Guernsey, Hereford,
Holstein, Jersey and the famous, or infamous, depending on your point
of view, Texas Longhorn; and a new addition from the USA mid-west,
Planes Beefalo.

On another isle there were specialty fertilizers, like Mountain Brand
or High Desert or Premium Oasis or River Valley. One of the most
popular, especially as a gift item, was the imported Sun Dried Arid
Waste Chip which came in a gold aluminum foil wrap.

All of these came in various forms and styles: like freeze dried, "just
add hot water, mix well, cool, and apply." Or pre-blended; ready to
apply liquid, in easy pour container. These various fertilizers were
available in 8 ounce and one pound packets, loose as freeze dried or
sun dried chips, 1 pound, 2½ and five pound bags, 5 and ten pound
buckets and 25 and 50 pound bags.

There was almost every kind and style and amount of fertilizer in any
kind of form or container anyone could want, or imagine.

One day a customer came in and spent a good half hour walking the rows
of available fertilizers--and became disoriented due to the sheer
variety.

The apprentice bull noticed the hypnotized look when it came into the
customer's eyes, walked over to say, "Can I help you?"

The customer said, "Yes, what is the difference in all this
fertilizer?"

Both bulls fell down laughing hysterically.

See, bulls know, even if people don't, that bullsh*t is just
bullsh*t--no matter what anyone calls it.

;-)