[the Onion] Infographic: CAIB Report Recommendations

(Mike Flugennock) writes:

*Stop blaring Europe's "The Final Countdown" across the pad
on launch days

Thanks to The Onion, I've had this song running through my head for
the last 24 hours.


Jeff
--
Remove "no" and "spam" from email address to reply.
If it says "This is not spam!", it's surely a lie.

Mike Flugennock wrote:

http://www.theonion.com/images/236/i...5811965812.jpg

*Double-check, or even triple-check, ballistics calculations

*Repair the floorboards on the shuttle Atlantis so deep space
doesn't show through

*Eliminate mission control's snack-and-juice breaks
during critical moments

*Stop blaring Europe's "The Final Countdown" across the pad
on launch days

*Address NASA's alarming shortage of men in short-sleeved
white shirts in crewcuts

*On next project, get much-needed production assistance from
Pharrell Williams of The Neptunes

*NASA district managers make unannounced visits to command centers

*When a Shuttle's milage exceeds 250 million miles, it's
no longer worth it to replace the engine

*Abolish mission control's Shuttle-disaster office pool

How about:

*Eliminate the test "What would Captain Kirk do?" from the checklists.

*Chief engineers should stop speaking with artificial Scottish accents

*Failure is not an option. But neither is "Activate the transporter"


--
Steven D. Litvintchouk
Email:

Remove the NOSPAM before replying to me.

On Fri, 05 Sep 2003 17:38:38 GMT, "Steven D. Litvintchouk"
wrote:

*Eliminate the test "What would Captain Kirk do?" from the checklists.

....That's "Replace the "What would Captain Kirk do?" test with the
"What Would Captain Picard do?" test.


OM

--

"No ******* ever won a war by dying for | http://www.io.com/~o_m
his country. He won it by making the other | Sergeant-At-Arms
poor dumb ******* die for his country." | Human O-Ring Society

- General George S. Patton, Jr

OM om@our_blessed_lady_mary_of_the_holy_NASA_researc h_facility.org wrote in message . ..
On Fri, 05 Sep 2003 17:38:38 GMT, "Steven D. Litvintchouk"
wrote:

*Eliminate the test "What would Captain Kirk do?" from the checklists.

...That's "Replace the "What would Captain Kirk do?" test with the
"What Would Captain Picard do?" test...

Or, even better, replace either of those checklist items with the
"What Would Dave Bowman Do?" test.

Or, even _better_,

*Reinstate the tradition of slipping xeroxed Playboy (or, Playgirl)
spreads
into EVA cuffbook pages. (what was it Schirra said about his line of
work
requiring a bit of levity?)

LooseChanj wrote in message m...
On or about Thu, 04 Sep 2003 15:01:04 -0400, Mike Flugennock
made the sensational claim that:
http://www.theonion.com/images/236/i...5811965812.jpg
*Stop blaring Europe's "The Final Countdown" across the pad
on launch days

They only think they're kidding.

Damn, I really missed this one completely, sorry to say, because I've
never heard of either the song or the band.

What can I say? I'm an old guy. My idea of launch day music is
"Astronomy Domine" and "Atom Heart Mother".

--
"All over, people changing their roles,
along with their overcoats;
if Adolf Hitler flew in today,
they'd send a limousine anyway!" --the clash.
__________________________________________________ _____________
Mike Flugennock, the Sinkers, flugennock at sinkers dot org
Mike Flugennock's Mikey'zine, http://www.sinkers.org

In article , Mike
Flugennock wrote:

They only think they're kidding.

Damn, I really missed this one completely, sorry to say, because I've
never heard of either the song or the band.

For many years, I managed not to hear it. Then I suffered it, at length,
sung by tired and let's-be-damn-enthusiastic people after many hours of
counting an election. It took on a whole new kind of terror g.

I was going to put a copy up, but thankfully I appear to have lost it.
If anyone's interested, though, a rendition of /Wernher von Braun/ is at
http://compsoc.dur.ac.uk/~ag/audio/vonbraun.mp3 - I'd forgotten it was
there.

--
-Andrew Gray

On 6 Sep 2003 12:29:15 -0700, (Mike Flugennock)
wrote:

What can I say? I'm an old guy. My idea of launch day music is
"Astronomy Domine" and "Atom Heart Mother".

....Actually, I was thinking Bowie's "Space Oddity" or Van Hagar's
"Dreams" would be more apropos, although a live version of Genesis
"Cinema Show" might work too :-)

OM

--

"No ******* ever won a war by dying for | http://www.io.com/~o_m
his country. He won it by making the other | Sergeant-At-Arms
poor dumb ******* die for his country." | Human O-Ring Society

- General George S. Patton, Jr

On 6 Sep 2003 12:23:24 -0700, (Mike Flugennock)
wrote:

Or, even better, replace either of those checklist items with the
"What Would Dave Bowman Do?" test.

....As opposed to "What Would David Bowie Do?" :-P

OM

--

"No ******* ever won a war by dying for | http://www.io.com/~o_m
his country. He won it by making the other | Sergeant-At-Arms
poor dumb ******* die for his country." | Human O-Ring Society

- General George S. Patton, Jr

In article ,
om@our_blessed_lady_mary_of_the_holy... _facility.org says...
On 6 Sep 2003 12:23:24 -0700, (Mike Flugennock)
wrote:

Or, even better, replace either of those checklist items with the
"What Would Dave Bowman Do?" test.

...As opposed to "What Would David Bowie Do?" :-P

Or, in a really ugly alternate reality, "What would Brian Boitano do?"

--

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for | Doug Van Dorn
thou art crunchy and taste good with ketchup |

On Mon, 08 Sep 2003 23:17:36 GMT, LooseChanj
wrote:

On or about Mon, 08 Sep 2003 07:01:17 GMT, Doug . .
made the sensational claim that:
In article ,
om@our_blessed_lady_mary_of_the_holy... _facility.org says...
On 6 Sep 2003 12:23:24 -0700, (Mike Flugennock)
wrote:
Or, even better, replace either of those checklist items with the
"What Would Dave Bowman Do?" test.
...As opposed to "What Would David Bowie Do?" :-P
Or, in a really ugly alternate reality, "What would Brian Boitano do?"

He'd kick some ass and he'd make it through, that's what Brian Boitano'd do!

"He'd turn into some ash or too..."


OM

--

"No ******* ever won a war by dying for | http://www.io.com/~o_m
his country. He won it by making the other | Sergeant-At-Arms
poor dumb ******* die for his country." | Human O-Ring Society

- General George S. Patton, Jr