Future Astronomy magazine articles

I picked up a copy of Astronomy at a magazine rack and was greeted by a
cover which featured the bold word, "IMPACT," with a supporting subheadline
which continued something to the effect of what we can do and what we can't
do about an inevitable devastating asteroid collision with Earth.
Naturally, there was a picture of the killer hurling its way down to us.
Also featured on the cover was a story dealing with the TRUTH about
astrology. Has the National Enquirer obtained the magazine?

I would suggest future issues may contain the following articles:

9. We Rate the Best 60mm, 675x Department Store Scopes
8. The Best Reasons For Not Observing When the Sky Is Overcast
7. Have Your Ashes Interned In Your Tele Vue
6. Convert Your 25" Obsession To a Casket
5. Why They Won't Let Bush Pronounce "Uranus"
4. Using your new telescope, part 1: Where To Put Your Eye
3. Rethinking GO TO After the Pole Shift
2. "GAL" ileo, "GAL" axy, "GAL" lon, & "GAL" lbladder. . .We Search For
a Link
1.


--
Martin

Straight off the cover of the "National Enquirer" some years back. I
remember it to this day:
UFO'S SPOTTED HOVERING OVER THE GRAVE OF ELVIS PRESLEY!
Marty

On Sun, 14 Nov 2004 20:09:21 GMT, Martin R. Howell
wrote:

I would suggest future issues may contain the following articles:

9. We Rate the Best 60mm, 675x Department Store Scopes
8. The Best Reasons For Not Observing When the Sky Is Overcast
7. Have Your Ashes Interned In Your Tele Vue
6. Convert Your 25" Obsession To a Casket
5. Why They Won't Let Bush Pronounce "Uranus"
4. Using your new telescope, part 1: Where To Put Your Eye
3. Rethinking GO TO After the Pole Shift
2. "GAL" ileo, "GAL" axy, "GAL" lon, & "GAL" lbladder. . .We Search For
a Link

1. Amateur astronomer spots Elvis in new constellation of "Sasquatch".
Finder chart inside!

Mike Simmons

"John Steinberg" wrote

I would suggest future issues may contain the following articles:

1. Oprah buys Moon, Donahue still bitter.

-Or-

1. Brando buried in space, Mars orbit perturbed.

Or,

"Lunar orbiter Clementine discovers body of Jimmy Hoffa under polar ice."




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On Sun, 14 Nov 2004 20:09:21 GMT, Martin R. Howell
wrote:


I picked up a copy of Astronomy at a magazine rack and was greeted by a
cover which featured the bold word, "IMPACT," with a supporting
subheadline
which continued something to the effect of what we can do and what we
can't
do about an inevitable devastating asteroid collision with Earth.
Naturally, there was a picture of the killer hurling its way down to us.
Also featured on the cover was a story dealing with the TRUTH about
astrology. Has the National Enquirer obtained the magazine?

I would suggest future issues may contain the following articles:

9. We Rate the Best 60mm, 675x Department Store Scopes
8. The Best Reasons For Not Observing When the Sky Is Overcast
7. Have Your Ashes Interned In Your Tele Vue
6. Convert Your 25" Obsession To a Casket
5. Why They Won't Let Bush Pronounce "Uranus"
4. Using your new telescope, part 1: Where To Put Your Eye
3. Rethinking GO TO After the Pole Shift
2. "GAL" ileo, "GAL" axy, "GAL" lon, & "GAL" lbladder. . .We Search For
a Link
1.


--
Martin

1. Consumer items named after astrnomy related objects:
- Ford Galaxy
- Chevrolet Vega
- Eclipse (chewing gum ?)
- Chevy Nova
- Ford Taurus
- Zenith televisions

Cheers,
Larry G.

"Marty" wrote in message
...
Straight off the cover of the "National Enquirer" some years back. I
remember it to this day:
UFO'S SPOTTED HOVERING OVER THE GRAVE OF ELVIS PRESLEY!
Marty

My favorite was, "Woman gives birth to her own mother!"

Great list Martin. You should send them in as a letter to the editor!

;-)

Chuck Taylor
Do you observe the moon?
Try http://groups.yahoo.com/group/lunar-observing/
And the Lunar Picture of the Day http://www.lpod.org/
************************************

CLT wrote:
"Marty" wrote in message
...

Straight off the cover of the "National Enquirer" some years back. I
remember it to this day:
UFO'S SPOTTED HOVERING OVER THE GRAVE OF ELVIS PRESLEY!
Marty


My favorite was, "Woman gives birth to her own mother!"

Gosh....you reminded me of my all-time favorite "National Enquirer"
headline----I saw it while standing in line at the market, and nearly
fell down laughing---"Woman On Dog Food Diet Bites Husband To Death!"

Larry G wrote in message ...
On Sun, 14 Nov 2004 20:09:21 GMT, Martin R. Howell
wrote:


I picked up a copy of Astronomy at a magazine rack and was greeted by a
cover which featured the bold word, "IMPACT," with a supporting
subheadline
which continued something to the effect of what we can do and what we
can't
do about an inevitable devastating asteroid collision with Earth.
Naturally, there was a picture of the killer hurling its way down to us.
Also featured on the cover was a story dealing with the TRUTH about
astrology. Has the National Enquirer obtained the magazine?

I would suggest future issues may contain the following articles:

9. We Rate the Best 60mm, 675x Department Store Scopes
8. The Best Reasons For Not Observing When the Sky Is Overcast
7. Have Your Ashes Interned In Your Tele Vue
6. Convert Your 25" Obsession To a Casket
5. Why They Won't Let Bush Pronounce "Uranus"
4. Using your new telescope, part 1: Where To Put Your Eye
3. Rethinking GO TO After the Pole Shift
2. "GAL" ileo, "GAL" axy, "GAL" lon, & "GAL" lbladder. . .We Search For
a Link
1.


--
Martin

1. Consumer items named after astrnomy related objects:
- Ford Galaxy
- Chevrolet Vega
- Eclipse (chewing gum ?)
- Chevy Nova
- Ford Taurus
- Zenith televisions

Cheers,
Larry G.

LOL
Motorola Quasar, had work's in somebodies drawers.

#-1: Look threw the fat end of your telescope
and see the universe as it will be in 9 Billion
Years!

#-2: 7 way's to convince your mother-in-law
it really is used to look at heavenly bodies.

Ken

Straight off the cover of the "National
Enquirer" some years back. I remember
it to this day:
UFO'S SPOTTED HOVERING OVER
THE GRAVE OF ELVIS PRESLEY!

Actually, the National Enquirer is *far*
too respectable a publication to print
this
sort of thing. You probably saw this on
the cover of the Weekly World News,
although one or two other tabloids are
possible as well.

John Savard

This was some years back, before the Enquirer started concentrating
almost entirely on sating our unbounded curiosity concerning gossip
about our favorite celebrities. They used to be very big on UFO's. It
was just as stupid then, but somehow more fun.
Marty

On Mon, 15 Nov 2004 16:28:34 -0600, Marty wrote:

Straight off the cover of the "National
Enquirer" some years back. I remember
it to this day:
UFO'S SPOTTED HOVERING OVER
THE GRAVE OF ELVIS PRESLEY!

Actually, the National Enquirer is *far*
too respectable a publication to print
this
sort of thing. You probably saw this on
the cover of the Weekly World News,
although one or two other tabloids are
possible as well.

John Savard

This was some years back, before the Enquirer started concentrating
almost entirely on sating our unbounded curiosity concerning gossip
about our favorite celebrities. They used to be very big on UFO's. It
was just as stupid then, but somehow more fun.


Marty,

You are correct. National Enquirer is perhaps the grandfather of
sensationalistic publications. It seems to me they stayed that way until
one of their reporters got lucky with a political scoop and subsequent
investigative journalism which "hit the mark" a decade or two ago.

I haven't forgotten their "Aliens Visit the White House" days.


Regards and respectfully,


Martin