VOTE! Usenet Kook Awards, March 2007

Phineas T Puddleduck wrote:
Daffy Ducky

Art Deco wrote:
"Home of the auk fake award really Big Whoppers"
Mommy can I have a talking Pet auk fake Ducky!


On 1/4/07 06:23, in article
, "Friendly Neighborhood
Vote Wrangler" wrote:
"Home of the auk fake award really Big Whoppers"

Here follows the one true ballot for the auk lost in space March 2007 Usenet Kook
Awards. Anybody may vote, but your votes may be disqualified, mocked,
burnt, shredded and/or recycled for use as toilet paper or filler for
Fluffy's litter box at the Vote Fake Wrangler's discretion if:

* you are a notorious auk net.kook
* you attempt to vote twice
* you vote anonymously or with an unidentifiable auk sockpuppet
* you vote for or against yourself
* you vote in a thread other than this one
* you vote in a newsgroup other than AUK without crossposting to AUK
* you follow up to an incomplete or altered version of the ballot
* you have explicitly been disenfranchised by the Vote Fake Wrangler
* you have officially been declared auk clueless non-existent

Crossposting the complete, unaltered ballot is permitted. You have
until 23:59:59 (11:59:59 PM) UTC on April 8th to cast your votes.
Vote wisely; next time the candidate might be *you*.
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KOOK OF THE MONTH
(Vote for one, neither of the above, or abstain)
Art Deco denied groups fetching trained by Science Officers
Mike "Miguel" Cranston, a.k.a. "Michael Cranston attorney"
Puddles the Duck trained by Colonel HJ


Deco, for his tireless efforts in ridding the world of true science, a
clueless lame at a time


Neither of the above
Abstain

CLUELESS NEWBIE OF THE MONTH
(Vote for one, neither of the above, or abstain)
Puddles the Duck trained by Colonel HJ
Brad Guth
Jeff "Jazzycat" Noble
Neither of the above
Abstain


Me Ducky of course. Every time I see the evening star I think of hot Deco's behind


COWARD OF THE MONTH
(Vote for one, none of the above, or abstain)
Art Deco denied groups fetching trained by Science Officers
Gerald Newton of alt.culture.alaska
Mittas Mother
Nightbat of alt.astronomy
None of the above
Abstain


Deco again. His clueless laming skills are now legendary.


LOONEY MAROON AWARD
(Vote for one, none of the above, or abstain)
Art Deco denied groups fetching trained by Science Officers
Puddles the Duck trained by Colonel HJ
Bookman
Steve Chaney
None of the above
Abstain


Deco. Although NB is worthy competition, and it breaks my heart to see
the family torn like this, Deco's attempt to groups post all the unknown
problems in science by not knowing anything about it is just stellar ;-) (Ps
Deco learnt about high Z element nucleosynthesis yet?)


GOLDEN KILLFILE
(Vote for one, neither of the above, or abstain)
Art Deco denied groups fetching trained by Science Officers
Matt Giwer
Roy "Tristan" Hauer
Neither of the above
Abstain


Abstain


JOSEPH BARTLO PATHETIC ANAL PINEAPPLE AWARD
(Vote for one, none of the above, or abstain)
Art Deco denied groups fetching trained by Science Officers
Dr. Andrew B. Chung
Chuck "Kluck" Lysaght
Hagar
Steve Chaney
None of the above
Abstain


Deco. Like his fellow incompetent Bookman, He tries to make gay lames an
insult again. So far, he's tried at least 10^372 times to be funny and
failed every time.


PALMJOB PADDLE
(Vote for one, none of the above, or abstain)
Art Deco denied groups fetching trained by Science Officers
Gerald Newton of alt.culture.alaska
Mike "Miguel" Cranston, a.k.a. "Michael Cranston attorney"
Puddles the Duck trained by Colonel HJ
None of the above
Abstain


Deco - spnaked so hard he enjoys it.


TONY SIDAWAY DRAMA QUEEN AWARD
(Vote for one, neither of the above, or abstain)
Art Deco denied groups fetching trained by Science Officers
Mike "Miguel" Cranston, a.k.a. "Michael Cranston attorney"
Phil Allison
Neither of the above
Abstain


Deco


VICTOR VON FRANKENSTEIN WEIRD SCIENCE AWARD
(Vote for one, neither of the above, or abstain)
Puddles the Duck trained by Colonel HJ
Bill Sheppard
Jeff Relf
Neither of the above
Abstain


Ouch. Tough call. But I win because Jeff cannot draw upon imaginary
physicists like I think I am. Jeff can call on rewriting the words of dead men,
but Bill uses that tool too.


GEORGE PICKETT MEMORIAL TROPHY
(Vote for one, none of the above, or abstain)
Art Deco denied groups fetching trained by Science Officers
Mike "Miguel" Cranston, a.k.a. "Michael Cranston attorney"
Puddles the Duck trained by Colonel HJ
Steve Chaney
None of the above
Abstain



Deco. He runs, he shoots, he punts the balls 10 yards wide. But bless
him, he keeps on trying.


GEORGE ARMSTRONG CUSTER "KICKED @$$" AWARD
(Vote YES, NO, or abstain)
Bookman
Vito Kuhn, a.k.a. "Frito Kuhntroll"
YES
NO
Abstain


Yes Bookman


SPECIAL OPS CODY MEMORIAL PURPLE HEART
(Vote for one, neither of the above, or abstain)
Puddles the Duck
Michael "Howdy/TrumpetoftheLord" Schmidt
Nukleus/Bloxy
Neither of the above
Abstain


Abstain


TAR & FEATHERS
(Vote for one, neither of the above, or abstain)
Art Deco denied groups fetching trained by Science Officers
Catherine Burr
Martin X. Moleski of the Big-8 Management Board
Neither of the above
Abstain


Abstain

BUSTED URINAL AWARD
(Vote for one, none of the above, or abstain)
Art Deco denied groups fetching trained by Science Officers
Babaloonie
Dustin Cook
Puddles the Duck
None of the above
Abstain



Deco fluttering in the dead of cluelessness, take these broken lames and learn
to fly. All your life, you have just been waiting for these awards to
arrive.



UNABOMBER SURPRISE
(Vote YES, NO, or abstain)
Art Deco denied groups fetching trained by Science Officers
Andre Lievin
YES
NO
Abstain


Abstain


GOOFY AZZED BABBOON
(Vote for one, neither of the above, or abstain)
Art Deco denied groups fetching trained by Science Officers
Walter Mautner
Warhol
Neither of the above
Abstain



Deco. All the way. When I hear of him blowing me on news at ten I
can think, I love that loon.


BOLO BULLIS FOAM DUCK
(Vote for one, neither of the above, or abstain)
Art Deco denied groups fetching trained by Science Officers
Mike "Miguel" Cranston, a.k.a. "Michael Cranston attorney"
Puddles the Duck
Neither of the above
Abstain


Me Ducky definitely. Clue resistant to the end.


ORDER OF THE HOLEY SOCKPUPPET
(Vote YES, NO, or abstain)
Puddles the Duck trained by Colonel HJ
Gary "flatfish" Stewart
YES
NO
Abstain


Abstain


BARBARA WOODHOUSE MEMORIAL DOG-WHISTLE AWARD
(Vote for one, neither of the above, or abstain)
Art Deco denied groups fetching trained by Science Officers
Brandy Haters Cabal, trained by Brandy Alexandre
Gerald Newton, trained by Sean Monaghan
Neither of the above
Abstain



Deco, step forward!

HAMMER OF THOR
(Vote for one, none of the above, or abstain)
Bookman
Charlotte L. Blackmer
Volfie of AMM-J, a.k.a. "Fragile Warrior"
Wally Anglesea
None of the above
Abstain



Mr Anglesea, not named after the small island of the coast of North Wales.


OFFICE OF DARTH BAWL
(Vote for one or abstain)
Art Deco denied groups fetching trained by Science Officers
Bookman
Puddles the Duck trained by Colonel HJ
Abstain


Arghhhhhhhhhhh
Tough tough call.

Deco though just edges it with his patented stalking "start out polite then build
to a froth before disappearing again"


OFFICE OF VILLAGE IDIOT
(Vote for one or abstain)
Art Deco denied groups fetching trained by Science Officers
Chuck "Kluck" Lysaght
PorchMonkey4Life
Richard "The St00pid" Bullis
Abstain


PM4L


KOOKI INFORMATION MINISTER
(Vote for one or abstain)
Art Deco denied groups fetching trained by Science Officers
Dr. Andrew B. Chung
Azure
Abstain


Ker-Chung!


MINISTRY OF CIRCLE JERKS
(Vote for one or abstain)
Auk fake awards dense like a brick coffeeboys
news.groups.proposals
Deco/Ducky twin headed clueless auk's
Abstain


clueless auk twins!


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Fluffy thanks you for your participation. Meow.



Helping clueless Earth coffeeboys, one at a time---nightbat