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JIMMY HOFFA NO LONGER A MISSING PERSON . . ..
============================ BREAKING NEWS ============================ MAHANOY CITY, Pa. (Rueters) -- You can stop looking. Jimmy Hoffa has finally been found. The decayed corpse of the former Teamster president was discovered deep inside a coal mine stripping pit by one Ed Conrad, a local fossil hunter. Good ol' Ed shows exactly where Jimmy's body was found. http://www.edconrad.com/pics/conradshovel.jpg "It was really ugly," Conrad told Sean "Ins" Hannity of Fox News. "The skin was long gone but there were still lots of teeny, weeny maggots crawling all over his face." Hoffa, who was nicknamed "Shorty" because he was only 5-foot-5, was last seen on July 20, 1975, purchasing a Big Mac at the McDonald's drive-in in Oakland County, Mich. The very last person to see Jimmy alive is Catherine "Kathy" Kristo, now 94 and a very popular resident of the Nearer My God to Thee Nursing Home. "He paid with a crisp new $20 bill and I tested it to see if it was real," she recalled. "I gave him his change, then he smiled, took a bite of the Big Mac, licked his fingers a few times, mumbled something that sounded like 'Mmmm, Mmmm, Good,' then pulled away from my window. "The only other thing I can remember is that there were three big scary men in a big black car behind him -- the driver looking like that fella (Joe Pesci) in The Godfather," she added. "But they didn't order anything, just driving off right behind that nice man (Mr. Hoffa). I thought that was awfully strange." This is a very nice picture of Mr. Pesci. http://blog.timesunion.com/bark/file.../joe_pesci.jpg Police authenticated Hoffa's corpse when they found a July 20, 1975 McDonald's receipt for a Big Mac -- 75 cents -- in his shirt pocket. Over the years there had been many rumors of Jimmy's final resting place and some even said his bones, mixed with lots of cement, are supporting one of the a goal posts at Giants Stadium in East Rutherford, NJ. However, these wild, cockamaney stories were put to rest by Ed Conrad's incredible discovery deep in the strip mine, possibly a more impressive discovery than even the petrified human remains he found there that confirm man is as old as coal. Hoffa was declared legally dead in 1972. It was strictly a coincidence that Ed Conrad baptized himself as Legally Insane on the Internet a few years ago. This is the latest FBI file photo of Ed Conrad http://www.edconrad.com/pics/Dartboard.jpg OTHER GREAT MYSTERIES SOLVED BY ED CONRAD MAN AS OLD AS COAL http://groups.google.com/group/alt.f...2305f02e955b66 http://www.edconrad.com DEATH DOES NOT EXIST http://www.edconrad.org 911 ALL OVER AGAIN https://groups.google.com/forum/?fro...ad/vYW_4Jxb7mo TIME TO END THE CANCER CURE CONSPIRACY https://groups.google.com/forum/?fro...ad/3rVk6-Kaejc |
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