COMRADES! Internationalism to Mars!

Six people cooped up in a simulated Mars ship for 520 days?
No, it's not a new reality television show:
http://www.mosnews.com/news/2006/08/13/mars500.shtml
The questions on all the world's lips: "Will they screw? Can we watch if
they do?" :-)

Pat

Pat Flannery wrote:
Six people cooped up in a simulated Mars ship for 520 days?
No, it's not a new reality television show:
http://www.mosnews.com/news/2006/08/13/mars500.shtml
The questions on all the world's lips: "Will they screw? Can we watch if
they do?" :-)

Pat

COMRADES! Internationalism to Mars!

Strange. The Soviets had more success exploring Venus than they did the
Red Planet.

;-)

Rusty

On Sun, 13 Aug 2006 12:14:06 -0500, Pat Flannery wrote:

Six people cooped up in a simulated Mars ship for 520 days?
No, it's not a new reality television show:
http://www.mosnews.com/news/2006/08/13/mars500.shtml
The questions on all the world's lips: "Will they screw? Can we watch if
they do?" :-)

That, along with "Will they die? Can we watch if they do?" -
This BBC story from a couple of weeks ago says the
hatch will be sealed for the duration, even if they run out
of supplies. I find that hard to believe.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/5221928.stm

Dale

Rusty wrote:


COMRADES! Internationalism to Mars!



Strange. The Soviets had more success exploring Venus than they did the
Red Planet.





COMRADE! Mars was freed of it's Reactionary Monarchist Shackles in 1924
due to the Revolutionary Work of Hero-Cosmonauts Gusev and Loss of The
People's Constructivist Cosmonaut Clothing Collective:
http://www.earthstation1.com/Warposters/jckaelin/'Aelita'ByBograd1924.jpg
....and their defeat of the Sham-Liberator Queen Aelita and her Decadent
Pseudo-Neo-Modernist headwear:
http://www.silentera.com/DVD/img/fra...lita-image.jpg
On the Vigorous Socialist Mars Of Today no woman would dare wear sixteen
spines on her hat until _all_ Martian women had at least _fifteen_
spines on theirs!
I will remind you that this all occurred in 1924...over fifty years
before the United States made the "first successful landing" on Mars
with their "Viking" spacecraft- whose very name recalls the Deplorable
Exploits of the Capitalist Pillagers of the Dark Ages, and their
Non-Socially-Enlighted rule, totally at odds with The Historical
Imperatives of Scientific Socialism!
Why, let us look at the True Aims of the the Little Capitalist Crawlers
"Spirit" and "Opportunity"!
The "Spirit" of Counter-Revolution!
The "Opportunity" for a return to Martian Enslavement at the hands of
the wily "Space Entrepreneurs"!
....such as comrade R. Simberg, here shown in his true guise:
http://www.dvdtalk.com/dvdsavant/images/47batrat.jpg
Fanged mouth open, clawed hands ever clutching, and his six cruel legs
stalking through the night, as he plots the ruthless exploitation of the
Pure And Communist (yet Totally Atheistic) Heavens themselves, tripping
up and trapping their peoples in the silken threads of his badly spun
lies, like a giant, bloated, yet still ravenous spider...bouncing up and
down with hungry glee on the World-Wide Web, always ready to pounce on
the unwary!
COMRADES! THIS MUST NOT BE THE FACE OF SPACE EXPLORATION'S FUTURE!:
http://www.niftyfiftyscifi.com/Pic2/arp5.jpg
NYET! NYET! A THOUSAND TIMES, NYET!! :-)

Pat

They couldnt stand by and see people die, criminal charges would be
brought.

HYPE for a new reality show............

Dale wrote:

That, along with "Will they die? Can we watch if they do?" -
This BBC story from a couple of weeks ago says the
hatch will be sealed for the duration, even if they run out
of supplies. I find that hard to believe.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/5221928.stm





Wouldn't that have been cool if they'd done that on the Biosphere 2
test? They'd all have suffocated, and people could watch through the
windows as it happened...ticket sales would have gone right through the
roof about the time they slowly started to turn blue.
Hey, here's one...you know that Mars Institute base test they do up on
Devon Island in summer of every year? They're just leaving it after this
year's test.
How about next year we tell them that the concept will be to live off
the land, like they'd have to on Mars, up their funding, let 'em get all
sorts of cool stuff....take them to the base, drop them off.... and then
inform them by radio that they'll be picked up in a year...so good luck!
It'd be great! If the screwed up even slightly, they'd all die, just
like on a real Mars trip!
We could even send Robert Zubrin along...they'd be so so fed up with him
inside of six months that they'd probably kill and eat him just for the
fresh meat... then they really _would_ be fed up with him, wouldn't they?
How about this...we get around a dozen polar bears, die them green, and
stick big spring antennas on their heads to simulate possible "Hostile
Martian Lifeforms", then release them on the island without telling the
people at the base.
We could even stick small TV cameras on the bear's heads so we could see
the surprised reaction of the research team when they first encountered
them. I wonder how fast they could run in those simulated spacesuits?
Let's find out! :-)

Pat

On Sun, 13 Aug 2006 13:26:03 -0700, Dale wrote:

This BBC story from a couple of weeks ago says the
hatch will be sealed for the duration, even if they run out
of supplies. I find that hard to believe.

....Were this the pre-Detante era of the Evil Soviet Empire, I'd say a
50/50 chance that they'd keep going. If this was Stalin's call...well,
the answer there is obvious. But nowadays...nah, the first sign of
gastritis, they'd pop the hatch and throw in the Tums(*).

(*) On a side note, one of my Russian girls informed me a couple of
weeks ago that it's easier to get Tums in Russia than it is Rollaids,
and you can forget about ones like Zantac. She said she carried a
whole extra box of Zantac with her for her mom, who suffers from
chronic heartburn that flares up from time to time, and her mom turned
around and sold that OTC package for the equivalent in Rubles of about
$400 USD. And here I thought the red market over there still was owned
by the Levis smugglers...

OM
--
]=====================================[
] OMBlog - http://www.io.com/~o_m/omworld [
] Let's face it: Sometimes you *need* [
] an obnoxious opinion in your day! [
]=====================================[

In article ,
Pat Flannery wrote:
We could even stick small TV cameras on the bear's heads so we could see
the surprised reaction of the research team when they first encountered
them. I wonder how fast they could run in those simulated spacesuits?
Let's find out! :-)

The simulated-EVA parties on Devon always have escorts with rifles,
because there *are* polar bears there, and even without the dye jobs and
the silly headgear, polar bears are noted for bad attitudes.
--
spsystems.net is temporarily off the air; | Henry Spencer
mail to henry at zoo.utoronto.ca instead. |

"Henry Spencer" wrote in message
...
In article ,
Pat Flannery wrote:
We could even stick small TV cameras on the bear's heads so we could see
the surprised reaction of the research team when they first encountered
them. I wonder how fast they could run in those simulated spacesuits?
Let's find out! :-)

The simulated-EVA parties on Devon always have escorts with rifles,
because there *are* polar bears there, and even without the dye jobs and
the silly headgear, polar bears are noted for bad attitudes.

Then they should add Realizm (TM) next time by leaving the escorts at home,
and treating the polar bears as a simulated movie Martian monster.

Add some rayguns and a Cute, Personality-Filled Monkey (TM), and you've
practically got Adam West on Mars...ah, well, didn't go so well for him, but
his *partner with the monkey* fared much better.

Scott Hedrick wrote:

Then they should add Realizm (TM) next time by leaving the escorts at home,
and treating the polar bears as a simulated movie Martian monster.

Add some rayguns and a Cute, Personality-Filled Monkey (TM), and you've
practically got Adam West on Mars...ah, well, didn't go so well for him, but
his *partner with the monkey* fared much better.



My remake of that movie would have a few subtle differences.
1.) The monkey is a little biting, crapping, SOB who the crew would be
more than happy to maroon on Mars.
2.) The monkey's capsule crashes, and it is killed....but a Martian Fire
Spirit enters it, and it rises as an Undead Martian Zombie Monkey,
seeking revenge on the crew of the Eleanor M.
3.) They crash land on Mars as in the original movie and are stalked by
the UMZM, who kills Dan McReady, but is itself killed by Christopher
Draper.
4.) Draper then saves Friday, and is sad that Friday is a mute, until
one day Friday says "Wild Sex!" right out of the blue and reveals that
on his planet the ones that look like males have both penises and
vaginas, and that he was a skilled sex slave on the alien ship.
5.) Distraught at the loss of their prized hermaphroditic sex slave, the
aliens tirelessly pursue Christopher and Friday across Mars guided by
Friday's vibrating electrified cock ring.
6.) The UMZM now returns, and tries to kill them both, until it realizes
what it really wants is to engage in a threesome with them.
7.) All ends happily as the Earth rescue ship arrives, saving
Christopher, his "wife" Friday, and their "beloved pet", Moana The
Undead Martian Zombie Sex Monkey.
I realize that some of these changes may be slightly controversial to
viewers of the original film, as will the gay scene between Christopher
Draper and Dan McReady involving licking spacetube food off of each
other, but the movie needs a certain edginess to it if it is to succeed
in the present cinema climate.
And I'm pretty sure anyone seeing it will remember it for many years
afterward.
It is certainly no odder than a movie about gay cowboys, or that episode
of STTNG where Riker gets it on with the alien he's unsure of the sex
of. ;-)

Pat