Alien Review - Oasis

An answer to a question from email:

No, we are not your protectors.

Not per se.

Our efforts have the peripheral effect of protecting all life on Earth.

These efforts are directed at protecting your star system.

Your system is a springboard to the outer fringes of our galaxy.

Your planet is an oasis in the "desert" of space.

Feeling again the warmth of a star such as your Sol after exploring
interstellar space is something you still have to look forward to.

It is like no other feeling, similar to your home coming into view after you
have been away for a long time.

Study this coincidence if you will:

Compare the diameter of your planet's orbit around Sol with
lightspeed.

Please to not discard this out of hand.

Think on this.

Darla

Darla wrote:

Study this coincidence if you will:

Compare the diameter of your planet's orbit around Sol with
lightspeed.

Its major axis (since the orbit is elliptical the term "diameter"
doesn't quite apply) is about 998 light-seconds (0.01155 light-day or
..0000316 light-year) long. Where's the coincidence -- does one of
these numbers mean something special to you?

Speaking for myself, it corresponds fairly closely to the time it
takes me to drive to work (barring heavy traffic or bad luck with the stop-lights).

--
Odysseus

"Darla" wrote in message
...
An answer to a question from email:

Please to not discard this out of hand.

Think on this.

Darla

All right... I discard it in hand.

P.S. Drop dead twice.

"Odysseus" wrote in message
...
Darla wrote:

Study this coincidence if you will:

Compare the diameter of your planet's orbit around Sol with
lightspeed.

Its major axis (since the orbit is elliptical the term "diameter"
doesn't quite apply) is about 998 light-seconds (0.01155 light-day or
.0000316 light-year) long. Where's the coincidence -- does one of
these numbers mean something special to you?

Speaking for myself, it corresponds fairly closely to the time it
takes me to drive to work (barring heavy traffic or bad luck with the
stop-lights).

--
Odysseus

Excellent beginning.

Odysseus: Hero of Homer, outstanding wisdom, eloquence, resourcefulness,
courage, and endurance.

And a skilled fighter.

Quite a name to live up to?

The search continues.

Watch precision, measuring units, and try to be slightly less picayune.

Drive carefully!

Darla

"Kilolani" wrote in message
link.net...

"Darla" wrote in message
...
An answer to a question from email:

Please to not discard this out of hand.

Think on this.

Darla

All right... I discard it in hand.

P.S. Drop dead twice.



G

Quell your fear, Kilolani.

Think of me as sort of a big, cuddly Teddy Bear.

Your sleep and dreams shall improve!

Darla

"Darla" wrote in message
...

Quell your fear, Kilolani.

Think of me as sort of a big, cuddly Teddy Bear.

Your sleep and dreams shall improve!

Darla

Actually I think of you more like a bedbug. Insignificant but irritating.

Oh Tannenbaum.

"Kilolani" wrote in message
link.net...

"Darla" wrote in message
...

Quell your fear, Kilolani.

Think of me as sort of a big, cuddly Teddy Bear.

Your sleep and dreams shall improve!

Darla

Actually I think of you more like a bedbug. Insignificant but irritating.



You sound like a very sad being, Kilolani.

Perhaps I can cheer you up.

(Other than by leaving this sector, which is not an option.)

Stop me if you have heard this one:

Two good ol' boys (from Earth), Jonathan and Sarrom, are gloating over their
brand new, just delivered, souped up Starhopper.

Recently completed, their craft sported 36-inch thick, fully transparent
viewers, state-of-the-art therbochargers, a hot, newly invented IPD, and two
large, fully furnished bedrooms.

They jump in, take off, and within moments they are darting past Pluto.

"Hey, I know! Let's go over to Alpha Circini and check out the babes!"
suggested Jonathan.

The planets of A. Circini are well known for their finely formed,
sun-drenched, and warmly accomodating - uhm - beaches.

Sarrom flinched, "No way, man! We'd have to go past the Rigil Centauris, and
they don't like Earth people there."

"Aw, man - we gotta go, we just gotta!" pleaded Jonathan.

Finally, Sarrom gave in.

He said, "Okay, let's go. But those Centaurians Really Don't Like us there.
So when we hit those Centauris, we Lead-Foot it all the way, right?"

"Right! Yaaaahh-hoooo!"

Soon the two Earth boys watched as the Centauris loomed larger and larger in
their viewer.

Sarrom said, "Okay, HIT IT."

Jonathan "floored" the IPD right out to the max.

Well, the Centauri County sheriff and his deputy just happened to be in
their neck of the woods.

And pretty soon the ol' blue bubble-gum machine flashed on behind the boys.

The sheriff hooked in and entered the Starhopper through the D-module.

"You boys have any idea how fast you were going?"

"We are so sorry, sheriff, really! So sorry!" blurted Jonathan.

Sarrom added, "Yes, Boss, so very sorry. It's just that we know how
Centaurians feel about us Earth boys, so we thought we better hurry up and
high-tail it past these stars."

"Well, okay," said the sheriff, "I'll tell you what; I'm just gonna give you
a warning ticket, but only if you boys PROMISE to slow WAY down and drive
careful on the highways of Rigil Centauri. Ya promise?"

"Oh, YES Boss, YES, thank you, Thank You!" said the two boys.

Sarrom and Jonathan thanked and thanked the sheriff while he wrote the
citation.

The sheriff handed the ticket to Jonathan and said, "Okay, just sign it
right here."

Now of course, the Earth boys were illiterate, so Jonathan made his mark, a
large "X," on the ticket.

He handed it back to the sheriff, who took one look at the "X" and started
Whalin' the Tar out of both of the boys!

He punched and wupped and pounded on the two poor boys from Earth!

The deputy, watching it all on his viddy, jumped up from his seat and dove
through the D-module.

He finally pulled the steaming, slugging sheriff off the Earth boys.

"SHERIFF!!! What in the HELL do you think you're DOING?!!"

The sheriff waved the ticket at the deputy.

"Look here, just look at this -

That stupid sombitch he signed MY NAME."

"Darla" wrote in message
...
| An answer to a question from email:
|
| Our efforts have the peripheral effect of protecting all
| life on Earth.

But a while ago you were trying to talk all your fellow aliens out of eating
us, like we're high in cholesterol or something.

| Your system is a springboard to the outer fringes of our
| galaxy.

Wait, I saw this one. You're going to build a hyperspatial bypass through
our solar system.

| Your planet is an oasis in the "desert" of space.

Oh, great. Look what happened to Las Vegas.

| Feeling again the warmth of a star such as your Sol after exploring
| interstellar space is something you still have to look forward to.

Except that our star is a lightweight compared to everything else.

| Compare the diameter of your planet's orbit around Sol with
| lightspeed.

We're still working out the relationship between Kobe Bryant's underwear
size and the Giza pyramids. But I promise we'll get right on that.

--
|
The universe is not required to conform | Jay Windley
to the expectations of the ignorant. | webmaster @ clavius.org

"Odysseus" wrote...
in message ...

Darla wrote:

Study this coincidence if you will:

Compare the diameter of your planet's orbit around Sol with
lightspeed.

Its major axis (since the orbit is elliptical the term "diameter"
doesn't quite apply) is about 998 light-seconds (0.01155 light-day or
.0000316 light-year) long. Where's the coincidence -- does one of
these numbers mean something special to you?

Speaking for myself, it corresponds fairly closely to the time it
takes me to drive to work (barring heavy traffic or bad luck with the stop-lights).

--
Odysseus

I can see the coincidence whether in miles or meters...

the mean diameter is 93,000,000 x 2 = 186,000,000 miles,
or 150,000,000,000 x 2 = 300,000,000,000 meters, so the
average diameter is roughly equivalent to 1,000 times the
speed of light.

No idea what any connection might be, though.

orbital diameter = 1000c

Nope, over my head whoosh!

happy days and...
starry starry nights!

--
Your heart up hanging on the wall
Just dripping tears so painfully,
You ne'er felt love so true as mine,
I want your heart inside me.

Protected from all manner, form
And shape of harm it will e'er be,
If you say no, I fade and die,
I need your heart inside me.

Paine Ellsworth

G

Darla