You must also consider the relative densities - see my gravity3.htm.

URL for that one?

Only if the equal masses have equal densities will they enter each
other's Roche Limits simultaneously.

Do black holes have Roche limits?
What if two black holes of equal mass approach each other?
Could they rip each other appart? And how so as nothing is
supposedly allowed to leave the "event horizon" once it enters.

Each body will be affected by the tide of everything else; the effect of
Body A on Body B will not immediately be much affected by part of the
surface of A becoming detached.
The calculation for fluid bodies will be much worse than in the small-
orbiter case; and that looked hard enough in Roche's paper. But I
expect that brute force computation can give a result nowadays.

How does the grav field look like if two fluid bodies (like gas giants)
would approach each other? I mean they would not tear each other
appart but rather "flow" towards each other, right?

Maybe even forming a 3rd body at their new unified center of gravity?

Also is there a computer (PD) program for multiple stellar body grav
simulations?

Greetings
Morenga