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(The following is "author unknown")
Dear Troll,

Thank you for your troll. Your troll has been evaluated by
our panel of experts. Here are the results of our tests.

We found that your troll was...
[ ] Incomprehensible
[ ] Offensive
[x] Just plain stupid
[ ] Without merit
[ ] Grammatically incorrect
[ ] Laced with spelling and punctuation errors
[ ] Laden with circular reasoning
[ ] Laced with misunderstandings of basic scientific principles
[ ] Somewhat too revealing of your minimal mental abilities
[ ] Too similar to other trolls submitted in the past

You could improve your troll considerably by...
[ ] Including a few actual facts
[ ] Taking remedial English lessons
[ ] Mentioning that you are a professional
[ ] Stating more falsehoods as facts than you already have
[ ] Swearing more
[ ] Including more colorful personal insults
[ ] Using the phrases "you people" or "those people" more
[ ] Modifying your insults to cover larger groups of people at once
[x] Ranting incoherently
[ ] Using religious or racial slurs
[x] Using the words "junk", "crap", "garbage", "toy", "flimsy" and
"Professional" more frequently
[ ] Using childish taunts
[ ] Including fake laughter such as "ha ha ha" or "har de har de har"
[ ] Focusing on just one outrageous topic will give your troll more punch
[ ] Ignoring any facts, and using more absolutes in your troll
[x] Using all capital letters
[ ] Focusing more on those areas in which "your" view is better than "their"
view
[ ] Exaggerate more, you need not be limited by facts

Please get a...
[x] life
[ ] grip
[ ] job
[ ] clue
[ ] book on basic history/astronomy
[ ] note from your mom
[ ] telescope

You should...
[ ] Have someone who can read review your postings
[ ] Save your postings for later and think if you really want to send them
[ ] Take your medication
[ ] Not have "one for the road" next time
[ ] Stay in school
[ ] Go and buy whatever eyepiece you want, we don't care
[ ] Think about other people's feelings before you post
[ ] Get your ego boost some other way
[ ] Realize that by trolling a group you hurt everyone, not just the people
you are mad at
[x] Go away so we can talk about astronomy
[x] Put up a web site with your name on it to show the world
[ ] Take down your web site, it's not very good


Suggested other activities besides trolling...
[x] Posting something constructive
[x] Actually having a look through a telescope
[ ] Helping someone else
[ ] Spending some time with your family instead of your magazines
[ ] Working off that big pot belly
[ ] Get your ego boost instead by helping out at a local hospital
[ ] Consider another hobby that does not require contact with other humans
e.g. mortuary science

Thank you for your submission.

You have...
[ ] passed
[ ] passed with honors
[x] failed, must try harder

Clear Skies

Chuck Taylor
Do you observe the moon?
Try the Lunar Observing Group
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/lunar-observing/
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