Elijah Baley wrote:

In article
able.rogers.com,
Mad Scientist wrote:


This has nothing to do with astronomy, but the instructions are so daft,
that I figured who ever writes this kind of crap must be taking lessons
from the usenet kook crowd. Its alright for a good laugh once and a while.

--


Honor of Stupid People
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed
through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer
goods.

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but it's "just" a suggestion).


On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn
upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate
machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?

On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet,
eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)


On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not
enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)


On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your
hands or genitals."
(Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)


If not for the ambulance chasing lawyers the stupid people would simply
die off as a consequence of natural selection. Instead, stupid people
are rewarded with millions of dollars for their stupidity. This enables
them to extend their stupidity to the next generation(s). It's sort of
reverse evolution if you will.

In the words of the Terminator - 'it is in your nature to destroy
yourselves.'