Mike Flugennock wrote:

http://www.theonion.com/images/236/i...5811965812.jpg

*Double-check, or even triple-check, ballistics calculations

*Repair the floorboards on the shuttle Atlantis so deep space
doesn't show through

*Eliminate mission control's snack-and-juice breaks
during critical moments

*Stop blaring Europe's "The Final Countdown" across the pad
on launch days

*Address NASA's alarming shortage of men in short-sleeved
white shirts in crewcuts

*On next project, get much-needed production assistance from
Pharrell Williams of The Neptunes

*NASA district managers make unannounced visits to command centers

*When a Shuttle's milage exceeds 250 million miles, it's
no longer worth it to replace the engine

*Abolish mission control's Shuttle-disaster office pool

How about:

*Eliminate the test "What would Captain Kirk do?" from the checklists.

*Chief engineers should stop speaking with artificial Scottish accents

*Failure is not an option. But neither is "Activate the transporter"


--
Steven D. Litvintchouk
Email:

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