Ah,the joy of well turned phrases! And how true!

--


- Jeffrey Hopkins

(33.94°N, 81.07°W); 207 ft
Physics & Astronomy
http://www.midlandstech.edu/jlh/
--------------------------------------------------------------
"Starlord" wrote in message
. ..
I post this without attribution because I don't know who wrote it. I wish I
had written it.





You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. As we say
in Texas, I'll bet you couldn't pour p!ss out of a boot with instructions
on
the heel. You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss
a
lawyer than be seen with you. You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit.
You
are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest
contempt.
You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You
are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon. You are a bleating
foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia
and
offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. An insensate,
blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling,
giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of
what they had done. I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging
to
the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf
at
the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers
avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a
fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell? Try to edit
your posts of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with
your
insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to
readers, but they will be able to access it more rapidly. You
snail-skulled
little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your
brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before
spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble
blood.
May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish
beliefs. You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy,
squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an
ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you.
You
are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that
reality forgot. And what meaning do you expect your delusionally
self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with
us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted
tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat,
spinning
rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake? You are a waste of
flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the
moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless
void.
You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile, one-handed,
slack-jawed, drooling, meatslapper. On a good day you're a half-wit. You
remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You
have
the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and
benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and
sorrow wherever you go. You smarmy lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod.
Bugger off, pillock. You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john.
You clouted boggish foot-licking twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You
gormless crook-pated tosser. You churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You
cockered bum-bailey poofter. You craven dewberry ****head cockup pratting
naff. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted
fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill. You are a fiend and a
coward,
and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel
debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I
wish you would go away. I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I
mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid, so stupid it
goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of
stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on
itself
so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that
no
intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on
Mercury
stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in
a
year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our
universe
can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from
the
original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so
uncontaminated
by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm
sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this,
you
may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left
to
deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant
trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh. The only thing worse than
your logic is your manners. I have snipped away most of what you wrote,
because, well... it didn't really say anything. Your attempt at
constructing
a creative post was pitiful. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of
insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective... Maybe later in
life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will
have
more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal"
people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But
we
sometimes forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world who
find
these things more difficult. If I had known, that this was your case then
I
would have never read your post. It just wouldn't have been "right". Sort
of
like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the
emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on
you.



--
The Lone Sidewalk Astronomer of Rosamond

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