Actually, the real reason why it wouldn't work is because, having down-
shifted the light, you'd destroy synchronization by running it through a
circuit switched phone system. That's the "new" part that I didn't
mention in my OP. Even if you had a tunable delay circuit that self-
activated every time you redialed, the signal integrity would completely
disintegrate the minute your waveform hit the telco switching machine.

And another headline making idea bites the dust.