"Jeana" wrote in message
om...
I am a passionate amateur astronomer, and am realizing more and more
how difficult it is to be a female in this field. My first
realization of this came when I walked in to a telescope retailer and
they reacted to me like they had never had a female customer before.
They asked me personal questions about my social status, etc. (e.g.
"do you have a significant other? maybe HE can carry the scope for
you") and assumed I knew nothing about telescopes ("this is what is
called a NEW-TO-NI-AN"). When it became clear to the salesman that I
had some knowledge of what I was looking at, he said, "that's not bad
for a girl."

This just goes to show that telescope dealers are not too much different
than automobile dealers. However, in defense of the dealer, I would like to
remind you that a woman deeply involved with astronomy is sort of rare. Of
course there must be a fair measure of women, but I personally have not seen
many. I can't remember seeing one woman at a star party who was not there
because her husband or boyfriend didn't her. I'm talking about a lady who
lugged her own telescope to the star party, set it up herself and remained
until the first hint of sunlight.

I also live in a very urban area and can't see anything in the night
sky unless I drive out for at least an hour and a half to the
mountains or the desert. My husband, although very supportive of my
love of astronomy, does not like it when I want to drive out alone to
some remote location (and usually those places have no cellphone
reception). He tries to go with me most of the time but can't
accompany me every time I want to go (which is all the time). He does
not want to hold me back from pursuing this hobby, and I recognize
that he has reason to worry about my heading out to the mountains
alone.

I really can't blame your husband for being protective and I'm sure that not
too many others can. On the other hand I understand how you feel, in that
you can't expect him to go with you everytime you feel like taking a peek.
Why don't you join an astronomy club, from which you can make a few friends
who will go viewing with you when your husband can't tag along?


I try to always take someone with me, which requires that I
can't leave when I want, or stay as long as I want. It also means I
can only go when I have someone to go with me, which means my
enjoyment of astronomy depends on my ability to secure a chaperone for
the night. I understand he worries, and I understand that it is
probably not a wise idea in this day and age for me to head off into a
dark remote location alone. But it is nonetheless stifling.

So life is often stifling, and now and then one comes to a brick wall that
you have to go around. I also have some problems, as my wife is not nearly
as accommodating as your husband.



I also tried to make friends with people in local astronomy clubs.
Perhaps I should give this some time. I don't have too many friends
who share this interest as passionately as I do, and it's quite
difficult to find someone among my existing friends who are willing to
accompany me on these field trips. It takes time to get to know new
people, and it takes a longer amount of time for one's spouse to get
to know people well enough to feel comfortable enough to not worry
about my hanging out with them in a dark remote location until the wee
hours of the night.

Keep working on the people from the astronomy club and forget your friends
who are not interested in astronomy. When you've found some peope in the
club with whom you feel comfortable, invite them to your house for coffee or
drinks to give your husband an opportunity to get acquainted.

Al





Am I the only one with this kind of a problem? Are there female
amateur astro urbanites out there who can relate? Or men who have
female partners with a serious case of the astronomy bug? My husband
is not the overly-protective type, and he hardly ever holds me back
from pursuing various interests, and he personally dislikes having to
have me adhere to certain conditions in order to head out for a
viewing.

I'd appreciate any suggestions or insights anyone might have about
this issue.