I am a passionate amateur astronomer, and am realizing more and more
how difficult it is to be a female in this field. My first
realization of this came when I walked in to a telescope retailer and
they reacted to me like they had never had a female customer before.
They asked me personal questions about my social status, etc. (e.g.
"do you have a significant other? maybe HE can carry the scope for
you") and assumed I knew nothing about telescopes ("this is what is
called a NEW-TO-NI-AN"). When it became clear to the salesman that I
had some knowledge of what I was looking at, he said, "that's not bad
for a girl."

I also live in a very urban area and can't see anything in the night
sky unless I drive out for at least an hour and a half to the
mountains or the desert. My husband, although very supportive of my
love of astronomy, does not like it when I want to drive out alone to
some remote location (and usually those places have no cellphone
reception). He tries to go with me most of the time but can't
accompany me every time I want to go (which is all the time). He does
not want to hold me back from pursuing this hobby, and I recognize
that he has reason to worry about my heading out to the mountains
alone. I try to always take someone with me, which requires that I
can't leave when I want, or stay as long as I want. It also means I
can only go when I have someone to go with me, which means my
enjoyment of astronomy depends on my ability to secure a chaperone for
the night. I understand he worries, and I understand that it is
probably not a wise idea in this day and age for me to head off into a
dark remote location alone. But it is nonetheless stifling.

I also tried to make friends with people in local astronomy clubs.
Perhaps I should give this some time. I don't have too many friends
who share this interest as passionately as I do, and it's quite
difficult to find someone among my existing friends who are willing to
accompany me on these field trips. It takes time to get to know new
people, and it takes a longer amount of time for one's spouse to get
to know people well enough to feel comfortable enough to not worry
about my hanging out with them in a dark remote location until the wee
hours of the night.

Am I the only one with this kind of a problem? Are there female
amateur astro urbanites out there who can relate? Or men who have
female partners with a serious case of the astronomy bug? My husband
is not the overly-protective type, and he hardly ever holds me back
from pursuing various interests, and he personally dislikes having to
have me adhere to certain conditions in order to head out for a
viewing.

I'd appreciate any suggestions or insights anyone might have about
this issue.