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HOT OFF THE WIRE
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ELEPHANT ISLAND, Antarctica (Rueters) --
Ed Conrad's rendezvous with The Grim Reaper
has been postponed.

Ed, the world-famous fossil finder who was
thisclose to death from frostbite and starvation,
was rescued early this morning after the pilot of
the Google Maps airplane spotted his almost
lifeless body lying in the snow, landed on the
ice field and rescued him

"He was almost as stiff as a board but we woke
him up, fed him some delicious tomato soup and
flew him out of that God-forsaken place," said the
pilot, who did not want to be identified.

Back home in Mountain View, Ca., the pilot -- Francis
"Crackers" McCool -- was saluted by Google top dog
and co-founder Sergey Brin and rewarded with an
all-expenses-paid two-week vacation to Disneyworld.

Ed, who holds the Guinness Book of Records record
for the discovery of the most petrified human remains
between coal veins, had arrived alone on Elephant
Island to search for the same kind of fossils he had
found between anthracite veins in Pennsylvania.

However, he screwed up royally when he decided to
bury all of his food and provisions beneath the snow
for safekeeping, then had his flag marker blow away
because of the howling wind (85 MPH), not to mention
temperatures of some 30 below zero.

Consequently, Ed found himself up Sh*t Creek without
a paddle -- that is, until God performed another of
His miracles and made that map-making plane fly over.

Actually, it was miracle with a capital M because it
is pitch black 24 hours a day on Elephant Island at
this time of year.

Please note that the Collage of Cardinals' prayer
vigil at The Vatican tonight for Ed's rescue -- or,
if not, at least for the repose of his soul -- has
been cancelled.

======================

If Ed had died a horrible death, he has just told
Sean "Ins" Hannity of Fox News how he wanted to be
be remembered.

http://www.edconrad.com/pics/SaveTheWhale.jpg

The pseudos, their interests so vested
And Poor Truth, for too long molested.
Their deceit and deception
Near the point of perfection
If it were my call, they'd ALL be arrested

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http://groups.google.com/group/alt.f...2305f02e955b66

http://www.edconrad.com
and
http://www.edconrad.org