I first posted this a few years back and once again it seems relevant in
my life. I hope others can identify with it:



The Fear of Staying Home

If I don’t get out when conditions say “yes” but circumstance says “no,”
I question whether my interest in the cosmos and scopes and all things
astronomy is dimming. At these times I am well aware that when caught up
in the zeal I experienced as a newbie to amateur astronomy I felt almost
forty years ago, there was nothing that came between myself and the
stars. Now I realize that as a youngster responsibilities are relatively
few and once the homework was done I could get the scope out. Even as a
married man in my 20′s and 30′s, I don’t recall much of anything
significant enough to block my view of the sky.

So, when I can get out and choose not to, I find myself wondering how
long it will be until the scope sits indoors, under the roof and not
under the stars, for whole seasons at a time. . .and then whole years!
Had all the money and time spent on the hobby come to an end? Was my
costly scope being assigned the same fate as a department store letdown?

But. . .

When I do find myself scanning the night sky I still experience an
excitement and contentment I find nowhere else. It’s like I’m going
home. . .home to the universe. It is there that the atoms once roamed
which compose this earthbound body and it is there that they will
eventually roam again for all eternity.

Fear/guilt; guilt/fear, whatever. I guess I shouldn’t worry. Priorities
may change, but astronomy is still high on my list. . .maybe not number
one all the time but never that far behind.


--
Martin R. Howell
The Astro Post
www.theastropost.com